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I think I ve got a problem

(9 Posts)
GEM33 Thu 21-Nov-13 15:13:50

I'm a relatively intelligent person. I ve got an ok wage. Since having my daughter 2 years ago I ve gone spending crazy online. It's like I tell myself she needs all these things but she really doesn't when I sit and think about it. It's been hard to acknowledge this but I'm in a situation this last 2 years where I ve got into debt of several grand ( can't bring myself to say how much) on a credit card. It's on 0% for another ten months but I ve got a loan of several grand and obviously the mortgage and my overdraft I'm always at the limit and recently going over. Oh and a catalogue debt. The only thing I can think to do is give my partner all my cards and live on cash budget. I over eAt too. Should I go to gp or would I not get any help? I think this all started with the post natal depression. Writing this has made me bawl my eyes out as it is the first time I ve admitted it's an issue. Please don't tell me how stupid I ve been. I know this. I just need to stop. Has anyone else been the same and got help or overcome this problem?

Spottybra Thu 21-Nov-13 15:17:19

You need to speak to someone who knows how to help. Write down who you owe what to. Then write down your incoming wages, benefits if any, then normal household outgoings. Once you have that very basic info take it to a debt advisor at citizens advice.

killpeppa Thu 21-Nov-13 15:19:21

calmmm downbrew
It will all be okay.

why dont you ring MA (money advice service).

They can give you some tips on how to get it under control.
Why dont you start small by selling the bits and pieces you dont need.

Start shopping online or using that supermarket comparison site. that way you can control your spending, budget and also resist temptation of extra treats.

thanks

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 21-Nov-13 16:18:03

You probably should talk to your GP. Some people deal with stress, anxiety and depression by self-medicating with alcohol or food. Others spend. If you've had PND it could be that you still need treatment, medication or counselling to help you further.

On a practical level, please make an appointment with the CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) for free debt advice. They're very good at helping people in your situation reorganise or reschedule their debts. You should also involve your partner in this process because you'll have to tackle this as a family rather than trying to keep hiding the size of the problem. Anyone can make a mistake.

Good luck

It sounds as though you have had "your light bulb moment". It may well be that you don't need the help of your GP or counselling or anything, you just need some support and encouragement from your OH.

Your OH needs to know everything. Giving him the cards and him changing the passwords on any online accounts (it's too easy to buy things on Amazon isn't it!) is an excellent thing to suggest.

I would start with that. Ask him to help you work out a joint budget, one that gives both of you a bit of free spending money, but has sensible amounts on for kids clothes and activities.

If you have any unworn / unused things with labels, see if they can be returned.

I hop these links may help him and you to think sensibly about your current situation and find a good joint way forward: debtcamel.co.uk/snapshot/his-hers-debt/ and debtcamel.co.uk/improve/smarter-budgetting/ . And this has ideas about decreasing all sorts of kinds of expenditure debtcamel.co.uk/improve/decrease-your-expenditure/.

You might find some apps to help you to focus on the budget and not impuse buy. This is a neat one: orsaveit.com/.

So give this a go - if you still feel you cant cope in a couple of months then def visit the GP.

(I don't make any money from any links in my posts.)

Belize Thu 21-Nov-13 17:31:19

OP I can really relate to your ways and totally understand how you have got into the state you have.

I think being addicted to spending is like overeating, over drinking, gambling or whatever and very hard to stop as you (well I think) what is the point as it is so bad nothing I do will make any difference. It's only a tenner/a cream cake/another drink etc.

I'm sorry that I can't be of any help but I do totally 'get' it and sympathise.

Do you think you're partner will be supportive if you tell him everything?

Talkinpeace Thu 21-Nov-13 18:01:14

near the top of this board (thanks to MNHQ for moving it) is a thread called "costs of credit cards"
included in it ia a link to a budgeting spreadsheet, as well as the ones about getting credit under control.
Have a check how you actually are

and breathe

GEM33 Fri 22-Nov-13 15:53:03

Great links. Thanks everyone for advice. Feeling positive today. I need to get a new obsession. . . A healthy low cost one! I ve talked to my partner and he said he will help me. Im gonna tackle the debts and if I'm still compulsive buying I ll go to gp. It just feels like a mountain to climb but I'm trying to focus on the day when I get my wage and don't have tp put most of it to pay off credit cards and loans :-)

Talkinpeace Fri 22-Nov-13 16:30:15

Well done.
and if you spot anything missing from any of the sheets, let me know as I still have the master copies on this computer.

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