Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Free legal advice is available from a Citizen's Advice Bureau, and the Law Society can supply a list of local solicitors.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
charity shop baby clothes(37 Posts)
My husband is an only child and has no cousins. Our baby will be the first grandchild in both out families.
My MIL is not short of money by any means and is often jet setting off around the world. Drives a new car etc.
She knows I love a bit of upcycling,Kirsty Alsop style for both clothes and homewear. However, I draw the line at charity shop baby clothes. Esp when you can get a bit pack of baby grows etc in supermarkets for very little money.
I now have two carrier bags full of new born baby grows that she has bought in charity shops. She hasn't bought one single item as new.
I don't know how to tell her I don't want them. She just keeps bringing them. My husband thinks it's gross too but won't say anything.
Should I tell her?
Yes, best set the scene now or else she'll keep on doing it. I don't think you're being unreasonable - especially for a PFB! (Now mine are older I do buy a lot of clothes for them on ebay... but for a baby...)
If you like upcycling and buy charity shop clothes for yourself, why are you so against buying them for a baby?
Why won't your husband say anything, is he frightened of his mother? That sounds like it will lead to even more problems in the future.
I don't see what's wrong with charity shop clothes, your baby will be likely to be sick over everything anyway . However if you really can't say anything to your MIL then you will just have to give them back to another charity shop.
I dont think that there is anything wrong with buying baby clothes from a charity shop (got DD a beautiful coat for NEXT winter from there last week!)- but you are right- baby gros cost very little so she could get you some new ones.
I dont think its 'gross'- but agree with previous poster- best to tell her.
There is nothing wrong with charity shop clothes. Many people don't have the choice. You seem pissed off that she can afford new, but won't buy it.
Have you considered that she is buying them because she thinks you'd like them more given your usual shopping habits.
Sorry, but you sound really ungrateful tbh
Actually, reading through this again, had you specifically told her in advance that you didn't plan to use charity shop clothes for your baby? If so, then yes, I'm a bit confused as to why she would buy them.
But if you haven't, then actually I think she has done a really kind thing. Its a lot easier to throw a pack of babygros into the basket in Tescos than it is to go and find some in a charity shop. If she knows you like re-using and charity shop finds, she has probably done it specifically because she thought it would mean more to you than a pack from the supermarket.
As for it being a bit gross , most people are just as precious about their babies as you are, and will have taken good care of their clothes and washed them carefully whilst they were using them, and again before passing them to a charity shop. Writing off everyone who passes their baby clothes to a charity shop as gross is a bit insulting.
Honestly!! Charity shop clothes should all be well washed and good quality. I used to work in a charity shop and we would always wash clothes before putting them out regardless of if they had been washed by the donator or not. New clothes are often treated with chemicals to make them seem to stay fresh on the shelf or in the packet FGS!
It seems to me that your MIL thought you would like those clothes as you like charity shop stuff otherwise. It sounds like you are just pissed off that she didn't buy new because she had the money to do so! If you really don't like them then just say thanks but no thanks but I do agree with some that you are being highly ungrateful. I have not much money and would rather get a friend or family member a decent quality item from a charity shop or ebay than a shabby quality cheep 'new' item. (and yes those cheap packs if babygros you talk about are often shabby quality. My PFB was often dressed in second hand and charity shop clothes with no ill effects.)
She may just know that many of those outfits will have been worn very few times, if at all, as so many people get PFB and buy everything new for their baby. She is surely in line with your usual love of up cycling, and is also saving a lot of waste.
Sounds like your MIL has her head screwed on the right way. Save your money now by buying clothes that your baby will only wear for a matter of weeks before he/she grows out of them and then you can save your money for other things - like holidays and new cars....
Why on earth you should think it 'gross' to buy baby clothes from charity shops is beyond me. I can assure you that the baby clothes that I donted to charity shops were well cared for, very much loved and not at all 'gross' . To use that well know MN phrase - did you mean to sound so rude?
Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.
Ok maybe not gross. But babies are essentially sicking, pooing and weeing for the most part. You wouldn't buy underwear in a charity shop...
Oh and it's not even a money thing here. I would quite happily spend £50 on a nice ethically sourced woollen cardigan for a baby, as well as charity shop finds.
The local one had babygrows for £1 last year. I just brought 10 but happily have £20 to the charity
But nurses only need to wash there clothes at 60 also to kill the germs off from all types of germs/ vomit etc.. Wash at 95 degrees if you like. As long as they aren't cashmere they won't shrink
Dear god, most people with new babies are only too happy to receive passed on clothing! Clothes do wash you know. As soon as you have a baby people pass on bags of stuff.
DD3 has practically only ever had 2nd hand clothing as she's my last by a long stretch (after I'd given away all the baby stuff) and I don't intend to buy things new for her.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
it's not 'gross'. Are you twelve?
give them to your local women's refuge where they will be gratefully received. And tell your MIL that you have enough for the baby now, thank you.
No - I wouldn't buy underwear from a charity shop, but then I presume you're planning to buy nappies for your baby? Are you also going to refuse all hand-me-downs on the grounds that they might have poo/wee/vomit on them?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I probably felt the same for my pfb but if i had my time over i would definitely only buy second hand for at least the first 2 years.
New baby clothes are such a waste - of money and the clothes/resources themselves. They wear them for such a shirt time that you (and others!) end up throwing them away when still practically brand new
I had so many beautiful baby clothes from car boot sales I can not understand buying them new. The rate babies grow out of clothes it would be insane to throw them away - assuming they are not stained. I always gave them a nice hot (90 degree) cottons wash. But then I also used second hand reusable nappies so you probably think I am really gross!?
There's nothing the slightest bit 'gross' about it, and I suspect once the newborn fog wears off you'll find you're a bit less bothered by the idea. Give them all a wash and tuck them away - there will be moments when your PFB has puked over everything he/she owns when you may well decide that you are not actually that fussed after all.
But - this is the moment to say (or get your husband to say) to MIL that, even though you love buying second hand for yourself you are feeling a bit weird about it for the new baby and, no offence, but you'd prefer her not to buy more that way. But thank her for her kindness, and make clear that you understand why she thought you'd want her to do this - I have no doubt she is assuming you'd prefer these over new for reasons other people have already mentioned.
I don't buy underwear in second heand shops, but that's mostly because adults don't grow out of their underwear when it has only been worn a couple of times and is in perfect condition.
I bet loads of baby clothes have never been worn or worn once or twice. Shift through for the best stuff. If you don't want them contact your nearest women's refuge who often need a decent stock of clothing. Or those who organise trips loaded with goods for orphanages.
I've bought bras, nightwear and swimsuits from charity shops
draw the line at second hand knickers though .
Are you going to refuse hand-me-downs as well op?
Some of my baby's nicest clothes are from charity shops and other people. To be honest, given how quickly they grow and how much they sick/wee/poo everywhere, I think it's pretty daft to insist on only having brand new stuff.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.