Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications, experience, or professional insurance of anyone posting on Mumsnet and cannot be held responsible for any advice given on the site. Free legal advice is available from a Citizen's Advice Bureau, and the Law Society can supply a list of local solicitors.

STBExH's 'kindness' leaving me £250pm worse off!

(44 Posts)
ProphetOfDoom Thu 04-Jul-13 21:02:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChasingSquirrels Thu 04-Jul-13 21:06:34

no you aren't missing anything.
I don't think he can insist on deducting contributions he makes in other ways from his maint - enforcing it is another matter, you may need to take to CSA.

ThingummyBob Thu 04-Jul-13 21:11:07

Can you simply refuse his kind <<hmm>> offer?

Also, surely the tax break on the vouchers for him is totally separate from any TC's you will claim as a lone parent? Its not his income (and therefore tax break) you will be notifying to TCs when making the claim?

Also if you make a claim for maintenance through the csa they won't give a shiny shit if he's paying you some vouchers or not, they will make him pay the cash maintenance due.

ProphetOfDoom Thu 04-Jul-13 21:19:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allnewtaketwo Mon 08-Jul-13 09:29:10

I can see why you're pissed off. However as another way of looking at it, why should nrps be denied the right to a tax break supposedly available to all working parents

ProphetOfDoom Mon 08-Jul-13 18:26:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 07:24:35

But clearly in practice you do have a practice with the tax break. You, as pwc, want to get the tax (credit or otherwise) advantage for the children, which in turn means you don't want him to get it (because you can't both have a tax benefit due to the scenario you describe). So although "in theory" you're ok with a nrp getting a tax break, in reality you're not, because you want it.

broccolirocks Tue 09-Jul-13 09:23:03

allnewtaketwo, surely she (and ex) want the children to benefit from it?

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 09:27:31

Yes of course but you're inherently assuming that the children will only benefit if the mother gets the tax break rather than the father.

ThingummyBob Tue 09-Jul-13 09:44:06

Tax credits are not a tax 'break' though confused

This arrangement would see the NRP better off by about £50 per month yet OP could lose more than £50 in tax credits if she earns under £26k and has at least two children.

Madness.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 10:54:34

I'm not disagreeing with the financial realities of the situation. However, my initial observation stands, namely "However as another way of looking at it, why should nrps be denied the right to a tax break supposedly available to all working parents".

Perhaps the OP can agree with the nrp that instead of him contributing in part via childcare vouchers, he pays the cash but receives the benefit he is being denied, via a reduction in cm. So the pwc loses no tax credits.

The situion with tax credits is that there is a cm disregard (due purely to the unreliability of some nrp's in paying cm). But given the OP's ex does pay cm, she's benefittting from the tax credit disregard. I personally think she has a moral obligation to share this "win" with the other parent, who is as capable as the pwc as spending the money to the benefit of the child.

ThingummyBob Tue 09-Jul-13 11:51:40

Its a tax break only for parents who have to pay childcare in order to work. It is not available to all parents either. Only those who work for a company which offer the scheme.

He doesn't pay for childcare so why should he get it?

I am genuinely confused by your thinking on this. Perhaps I am looking at my own situation whereby a tax break for the non resident non anything father would be laughable.

Like I said though, and as OP has done now by informing CM, she doesn't need to accept his offer of vouchers anyway. He'll get the tax break and the vouchers but not sure how he'll go about spending them wink
If he decides to then reduce maintenance payments anyway OP can always ask CSA to manage the payments from him for the dc.

ProphetOfDoom Tue 09-Jul-13 11:54:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 11:56:39

He pays £x pm in cm into the pwc household. The pwc household pays childcare costs. To say he is not paying for childcare is ridiculous. It is impossible to specify what an £x contribution specifically pays for.

What are you confused about? Parents with children in childcare are allowed a tax break from the government. The OP doesn't want the NRP to have it in her scenario. I can see why, and have suggested an alternative.

"He'll get the tax break and the vouchers but not sure how he'll go about spending them"

Do you think that's funny with your wink? Like it's a game to you, this raising children lark?

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 11:59:22

Schmaltzing, if you don't mind me asking, what proportion of your childcare costs do the tax credits cover?

ThingummyBob Tue 09-Jul-13 12:25:18

Yes, raising children by oneself while daddy gets to swan around and do as he pleases is such japes hmm

He is not the one paying for childcare, anymore than he is paying for the OPs vice of choice if she has one.

He is contributing towards the household of his children. If OP was offered free childcare by a parent or friend should the maintenance reduce then too?

Btw the wink was exactly that. He is totally allowed to claim the tax break if he wishes. Won't save him anything at all though in this case will it.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 12:30:13

So if he's not paying for childcare what is he paying for, in your opinion, exactly?

"If OP was offered free childcare by a parent or friend should the maintenance reduce then too?". Erm sorry that's just too childish and silly a suggestion to even answer.

"He is totally allowed to claim the tax break if he wishes. Won't save him anything at all though in this case will it"

Sorry have you logged onto your mummy's account? Are you 10?

ProphetOfDoom Tue 09-Jul-13 12:33:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 12:50:26

I guess the difficulty is that if he's p**d off he could go to the csa and get a substantial reduction on the £700pm he's currently paying?

ThingummyBob Tue 09-Jul-13 12:52:14

OP I understand. His net gain of around £50 per month would mean a net loss to you of more than he gains.

Would be madness even if he was hands-on and an active part of the childcare routine. As he's not I wouldn't even sweat it.

Allnew no I'm not quite 10 yet wink

<<tilts head>> I am wondering if you have a partner who pays maintenance to an ex of his? You are spouting the sort of guff that second wives often spout about maintenance.

allnewtaketwo Tue 09-Jul-13 12:56:40

what exactly am I "spouting"? I have said I understand how the OP feels and have offered an alternative.

The OP has calmly discussed the pracital realities of the position, the only person getting nasty and vindictive over her ex is you.

Not everyone has a chip on their shoulder, you know wink

ThingummyBob Tue 09-Jul-13 13:06:21

I personally think she has a moral obligation to share this "win" with the other parent, who is as capable as the pwc as spending the money to the benefit of the child.

Guff spouted here ^^

and here

* However as another way of looking at it, why should nrps be denied the right to a tax break supposedly available to all working parents*

ImNotBloody14 Tue 09-Jul-13 13:06:28

child maintenance isn't supposed to cover childcare allnew. the csa don't alter the amount paid if childcare becomes necessary. they base it on the NRP's income and whether they have other children. put it this way, if OP stopped working and no longer needed childcare- the NRP wouldn't get a reduction in child maintenance.

OP is paying for her own childcare using her WTC and CTC. the child maintenance is for food and clothes and electric and rent etc relating to the costs of the children living with OP.

ProphetOfDoom Tue 09-Jul-13 13:38:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Tue 09-Jul-13 13:41:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now