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Financial worry/break up

(7 Posts)
FiftyShadesofGreyMatter Fri 03-May-13 07:52:12

You need to get originals or copies of all his financial information, pay slips, pensions, investments, savings, shares etc. Gather these up and store them safely with a family member or friend.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 03-May-13 07:04:37

I agree with the PP, sadly. When a partner is being vague about the reasons for their unhappiness and then willingly moves out of a perfectly nice family to be 'on their own' it's so often because there's someone else waiting in the wings that it's almost a cliché. Scroll back through when all of this started and if his behaviour changed, habits changed, started keeping phones close or anything similar. There may be something you dismissed as innocent at the time.

Definitely get legal advice.

expatinscotland Thu 02-May-13 18:33:03

I hate to throw this out, but when men leave a marriage, the vast majority of the time, if it's not due to domestic violence, he is seeing someone else.

I'd see a solicitor, NOW. It may be better for the house to be sold and any profit/equity to be divided; this may allow you to purchase a more suitable property.

Whoknows36 Thu 02-May-13 18:30:15

Thanks cogito, when I say think it's because I don't know but I am assuming that is what he will choose to do. I can't see anything that's wrong with our marriage but he says he's not happy and feels suffocated. When I've asked if its us, family life, work or just life that's making him feel this way he says he doesn't know and feels really confused and just knows he isn't happy. I've suggested counselling for him alone and a appt to the gp to see if maybe he is depressed or has any issues which are leading to this. However his solution is to move out temporary and see if life on his own eases his worries or if that's not the cure. Meanwhile I'm left not knowing what the hell is going on.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 02-May-13 06:21:46
CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 02-May-13 06:21:28

You should probably talk to a solicitor in the first instance to get as much information as possible about how marital assets can be fairly divided in your particular circumstances. Some people buy each other out, some sell the property split the proceeds and start fresh, others carry on financing the family home until DCs are older... it all depends on the individual.

You'll be entitled to maintenance payments for the children. The CSA website has a handy calculator that can give you some pointers on how much is reasonable based on his income. Treat this as a starting point for a conversation rather than the maximum

For state help I can recommend the website www.turn2us.org.uk which has a very good benefits checker. Citizens Advice Bureau are very good as well.

Finally... when you say you 'think' he'll be leaving soon, that sounds like you're not sure. Is this just a feeling? Has he announced he's leaving but still living at home? My advice is don't wait for him to make a decision about your life.... take the initiative.

Whoknows36 Wed 01-May-13 21:47:47

Hi
Not sure if I should post this here or in the relationship thread.

I think my husband will be leaving me soon and I have no idea how I will manage on one salary or what I'm entitled to.
We have a mortgage, have children, pension and savings accounts. The savings are shares held with his job. I work part time due to lack of child care.

I'm guessing if I want to remain in our home I will have to buy his share out. What I can't see is how I can afford the mortgage and bills all on my own. The only type of property I can see my salary affording is a small property and the kids share a room.
What type of benefits or maintenance may I be able to get.
Thanks

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