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Cohabiting - how do you pay "rent" to your partner when he owns the house?

(83 Posts)
yayforspring Sun 21-Apr-13 23:22:32

Hi all

Im hoping to move in with OH in about 6 months. He has just bought a house and is expecting me to contribute, and I was planning on doing so. I currently pay £540 inc rent and bills in a shared house. His mortgage on a 2 bed place is £1300 a month plus bills (prob £250). Im not sure how I should pay him. I thought initially I would just pay him £540, to keep outgoings the same for me, as its not my property. I wouldnt get a whole room to myself as such although if we were renting together I'd be paying a lot more. I would be technically paying off his mortgage, but if i dont contribute I'd have no say in things and wouldnt feel it was my home. He wants a bit more than £540, i think about £600. I wondered whether I could just pay him £540, and then pay the rest of my half of everything into a savings account for us to use in the future if we stay together (ie for the next house) so that things were really equal. Anyone else in the same situation? what is the normal thing to do?

"I think I'd delay moving in until the two of you are truly ready to go the whole hog, tbh."

I'm keen on people being financially sensible, but honestly the only way you know if this relationship is going to last is to start living together.

If it was me, I would be thinking that I would propose paying £540, same as now, on the understanding that after a year, the two of you will review the situation and consider adding your name to the deeds and the mortgage.

So you are no worse off than now, you can start lining together but you have made it clear that long term you want to be a couple financially, not a bloke with a lodger.

FioRez Mon 24-Feb-14 16:24:41

Hi, I'm hoping this thread still has some life in it because I want to add some experiences.
I invited my OH to live with me 3 yrs ago. Obviously the extra income was welcome, but it was really having him with me which I really wanted. For the last year I've been talking about us selling the flat and buying a family place together. He has a good job and we could probably get a joint mortgage now. The equity from the flat would have given us a really good deposit which I was totally up for sharing with him, without rule. For whatever reason, our relationship is breaking down every day and although I have kept trying to work at it, things just get worse and I can't see a good future for us. I'm actually relieved that I didn't involve him with the mortgage from the start, because as much as I've wanted it to, relationships don't always work out. The equity on the property is because of my hard work and savings when I brought it (before I met him). I doubt he would ever have bought property on his own, maybe because he's not that way inclined. So I've given him a lovely place to live throughout our relationship, which he would have otherwise paid to an absent landlord. I'm just very sorry that he couldn't be bothered to work through our minor issues to see the way to a real future with complete equality on every front. I think everyone looses here, most of all emotionally.

Silvia232 Thu 13-Mar-14 04:23:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Quantum1971 Sat 22-Mar-14 04:22:29

I've been in a situation before of cohabiting with a boyfriend for over two years who took rent from me to help pay a mortgage in just his name. Even when I lost my job and was unemployed I continued to pay. When we split up I felt terribly jipped for stupidly helping someone pay 12k towards their mortgage when they had not shown any sign of commitment to me. I felt especially bad as I slept on a friends floor in their lounge so that I could save up a deposit on a place to rent in the months after our split.
Now I find myself in a situation where I have been with a partner for 2.5 years and renting together for the past year. My partner however has suddenly decided that he wants to buy right now and that he wants to do this in his name because he earns more, has a deposit. I've been feeling pretty awful since he told me this as I envisage ending up in a situation like before. I don't want to contribute to someone else's mortgage again without something for me. I liked the suggestion that whilst not included in the equity of the house, just splitting bills and money saved on rent to go into a pot that will enable me to come onto the mortgage at a later date together. This seems a pretty fair idea. He's not losing anything by doing that and if is serious about a future with me, should be happy with that. If he can't afford the mortgage without my contribution, then I should be on the deeds to a % what I contribute from start. I would suggest to lady that started this thread as you've not been together long, to propose he gets his tenant in do he does not need you to live with him. Then take it from there. You need to know he wants to be living with you, as apposed needs your rent! That's the mistake I made the first time. I won't again!

iolloyd Tue 01-Apr-14 17:23:45

Why is it okay to pay off the mortgage of a landlord, but when the landlord is your partner, suddenly it's not? If you were not living together, surely you would have to pay rent or a mortgage elsewhere?

Viviennemary Thu 03-Apr-14 17:09:27

I don't think I'd like to be contributing to a partner's mortgage for any length of time. As others have said you will have no rights and no home if you split up. But maybe as a short term thing it would be OK.

TypicaLibra Fri 04-Apr-14 08:21:12

iolloyd, one reason is that you are sharing a bed with the person sharing the mortgage. So really you don't have your own 'space' in the home like a proper lodger would - they would at least get their own room to do whatever they wanted with.

If the morgage is on a one-bedroomed house / flat the homeowner is taking the piss really expecting their partner to contribute significantly to the mortgage, as there's no way they could get a lodger.

Heatherbell1978 Mon 14-Apr-14 13:14:13

I was in the opposite situation when my OH moved in 2 years ago (we're now married) as I own the house. He paid me half of everything but it was less than he was paying renting a property on his own so he wasn't too bothered. However a lot of my friends said the normal arrangement would be for him to pay half of all bills and come to a separate agreement re any contribution to the mortgage. So if I were you I'd play it that way. Offer to pay half of all bills and some toward the mortgage so it adds up to what you paid before. The whole 'paying off his mortgage and not being on the deeds' isn't a great argument though because if you rent a flat, you're paying the owners mortgage but not getting a share of that flat or going on the deeds so it's kind of the same thing.

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