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Coping without your own money - SAHMs

(77 Posts)
Jadems Thu 28-Mar-13 15:42:25

Hi,

Just looking for a little advice from how other SAHMs have coped without having their 'own' money.

First baby due in July, and due to cost of childcare in the SE I won't be working after the birth (would literally be left with nothing after childcare and travel costs).

Really worried about how I'm going to manage without any money of my own. We won't receive any child-related benefits due to partner's salary level, so the only money I'll have is Maternity Allowance for 39 weeks. After that, I imagine I'll have to ask for money every time I need something.

I'm currently on JSA after losing my job in November, and I'm already finding it really hard to cope without having my own salary. So far I've managed to do without any maternity clothes, just so I don't have to ask my partner for money. My partner pays for everything (house, bills, food etc), and is even paying for driving lesson for me at the moment, which are extortionately expensive. So I don't feel able to ask for money. Just use my JSA to pay for my fixed costs such as contact lenses, mobile phone etc and just do without everything else. Feel guilty adding 'luxury' shampoo to our fortnightly shop even.

Just wondering how everyone else copes? I'm used to having my own money, so not even being able to afford clothes etc for myself is very depressing. It's got so bad that I've even thought about leaving my partner (and baby) after the birth, just so I could return to work and have some money. Awful I know, but miserable feeling like a teenager dependent on 'handouts'.

Queazy Fri 12-Apr-13 20:45:42

This frightens me. I'm five months pregnant, really grateful for this, but also worried about how I'll be able to afford everything once on mat leave. You need to share the burden though - you can't try and live on pennies from the jar. Believe me, I too get very excited when I find coins down the back of a soda, but this can't be your source of 'income'. I've always valued my financial independence and I don't have any easy answers, but I think talking it through with your partner to find a more sustainable option I.e. you both sharing the load, would make it a lot easier for you x

scottishmummy Fri 12-Apr-13 22:38:52

Let's be clear a baby is a joint shared responsibility of both partners
And if partner earn more,they put in more for baby expenses
Pg is no good time to feel vulnerable,scared

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