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How do I work this out?

(12 Posts)
readysteady Wed 27-Feb-13 09:50:23

Emma it makes me confused too when married couples do this, then the borrow from each other I just don't understand that but respect each person/couples right to do as they feel suits them, we view the money as family money I don't think my dh has any more right to control the money just because he earns more of it. I thought a partnership is a partnership! I had student debts and my dh paid them off for me before we got married even as we were sharing a house at the time I no way feel guilty about that!

RedHelenB Wed 27-Feb-13 07:21:52

I would take off his credit card repayments & work it out after that.

littlemefi Tue 26-Feb-13 22:33:42

Thanks pepparabbit!

littlemefi Tue 26-Feb-13 22:32:51

You may have a valid point emma re the trust issues with money, we have quite different attitudes towards money, I'm pretty careful and try to put some money aside every month for a rainy day (such as car repairs, holiday, boiler blowing up!), whereas DH is a live for today kinda guy.

He has, in my opinion, been reckless with loans and credit cards which he is paying off now, which predate our relationship, and which I don't really want to be responsible for.

I like having some financial independence and when I worked FT, before having dd, we were on very similar incomes and paid the same amounts into the joint account and that seemed to work well. I like having " my money" and know DH feels the same as we don't have to justify our spending, can treat each other etc.

I know I probably sound resentful and that is a fair comment, all I'm asking for is a way to work out the maths so that pro rata we cover the bills fairly. That way we both have some money left for ourselves to spend/ save as individuals without worrying.

pepperrabbit Tue 26-Feb-13 22:21:45

If you want a straight maths answer, given you would be on the same FT salary, I would view it as he earns say 100% to your 64%. So I would take the £1200 and divide by 164, he needs to contribute 100x that answer and you 64x that answer.
So £731 and £469.

emma16 Tue 26-Feb-13 22:15:27

Your not the first person I've seen writing posts about being married & having separate bank accounts & independent finances, and it just bamboozles me to be honest. My husband is the sole earner in our house, I do a few cleaning jobs a week that fit in with the kids being at school but all of our money goes into the same pot every month. Our bills get paid & we have left what we live on each month. Neither of us have a go at each other for what the other spends because we trust each other & know neither of us would fritter money away selfishly for no reason. I think you need to sit down & talk to him & sort out any issues that aren't just to do financially...for every relationship to work there needs to be trust & it doesn't sound like there's a lot in yours at the moment sad

littlemefi Tue 26-Feb-13 21:24:04

I don't even mind paying more for the food if I were paying less into the joint account iyswim.

What I'm struggling with is the maths! How do I calculate my share and his to cover the £1200 fairly? I still think DH would have enough to cover his debts and if I were paying less, I wouldn't begrudge paying for food shopping as I would still have a bit of money left at the end of the month.

readysteady Tue 26-Feb-13 21:07:08

Yes add the same but as a % of your earnings into the joint then all the bills come out of that.

could you both add in an amount to the joint account to cover food bills and pay the weekly shop out of the joint account too

littlemefi Tue 26-Feb-13 20:54:27

What about his other debts? They pre-date me, and he's not brilliant with money and I'm a bit more of a tightwad!
I'd worry if he had access to all the money, that it would all be spent before the end of the month!

readysteady Tue 26-Feb-13 20:47:20

Why don't you pay all your money into the joint account and then give yourselves the same amount of spending money? My DH earns 4 times my 50% job and that's what we do as we both earn towards the family pot, as a unit not individuals. Hope that helps.

littlemefi Tue 26-Feb-13 20:40:38

DH and I both work, he works FT and I work PT 0.64 WTE.

We have our own bank accounts and a separate joint account from which we pay all our bills and rent outgoings, which adds up to around £1200 a month.

Currently DH pays in £650 a month and I pay in £550 a month, plus I probably do 3 of the 4 weekly shops a month. I think this is unfair, as I have very little, if any, money left at the end of the month, when I know DH has money left, although he also has other outgoings such as credit card and loan which he ran up when we weren't together.

How do I work out a fair way to contribute to our joint outgoings?

We are in similar jobs, so if I were FT I would earn a similar amount to DH.

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