Mumsnet Talk

I really need some financial survival advice and hope someone can help.

I've been a low earner for a few years gradually depleting my savings. I still have ISAs and was recently told I might qualify for WTC but haven't claimed anything yet (self employed, earning less than min wage, sought advice when I got a bit desperate after two months with no income due to illness). I moved to my new home knowing a lot of repairs & updating would be needed but hoping that the combination of having a couple of language students and continuing my self employment would mean I could stop going through my savings.

Yesterday my non cohabiting DP got notice his landlord wants his flat back. DP has Asperger's and is much happier with us living separately although we are vey close. He gets lower DLA himself and carer's allowance for helping look after his DM (his redundancy from Borders coincided with her advancing dementia so he doesn't want to look for a new job for the time being).

I'm trying to work out if there's any way I could financially cope if DP moved into my home. He may have very few options. He would need the space I let out and I would have to get some of the building work done sooner rather than later for him to be reasonably comfortable - essential if he is to be able to cope due to disability not pickiness.

I have always assumed that if we lived in the same house he couldn't be my tenant and I would have to assume complete financial responsibility for both of us. I am not entitled to IS due to my level of savings and I never felt confident that I could earn enough to support us both and not have lodgers. I've been reluctant to make any benefit claims but realise I may have to bite the bullet.

Thanks for reading this, any advice would be much appreciated.

I think you need to overcome your reluctance to claim benefits because it sounds as though you have missed out on thousands. WTC, for example, is specifically designed to help people on low incomes bring their standard of living up nearer to those on average wage. There are no medals for turning down money.

To answer your questions I would suggest you enter your current details into this website... Turn2Us Benefits Calculator See what the picture is for you solo regarding CTC, WTC and any other assistance available. Then run the calculation again with you and DP as a co-habiting couple. Include the fact that he has disabilities so that you understand what his income would be. He should contribute a fair share to household expenses if he lives with you, of course, and how much that would be you'd need to agree between you in advance.

You will be treated as a couple for benefits purposes if you live with someone "as if they were your spouse or civil partner". If your relationship was simply friendship then you could potentially become his landlord and treat him as a lodger. However, as you describe him as a 'partner', that doesn't sound the case here.

Thank you CES I'm sorry the ether swallowed my reply to you yesterday but back online now.

You are right and I need to bite the bullet. I don't think the benefits system could reasonably treat us as separate if we are under the same roof although in reality I think we would be separate households.

I do feel quite daunted by the challenge, financial, practical and emotional.

All change is daunting. The way to make it less daunting is to be as well-informed as possible. That way you retain an element of control rather than simply feeling that you're at the mercy of events - which is very stressful. Arm yourself with information, therefore. CAB, JobCentres, Tax Credits Offices etc.are financed by us and their job is to help rather than hinder. However, because a lot of people need help at any one time, they aren't going to knock on your door and offer that help, you have to ask and push and keep pushing until you get what you need. Good luck