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what can i do. please help!!!!!

(26 Posts)
tammyem Fri 23-Aug-13 18:23:44

Please is there someone out there who can help me my ex took my baby four weeks ago under a residential order for just two days he's now blocked me on Facebook and my number making it impossible to contact him over seeing my baby I have also revived no paperwork from social services which I have been told I should have social services seem to be on his side and support him even though he has no evidence of what he claims and is doing everything in his power to stop me from seeing my baby please is there anything I can do I know its a bank holiday but please

mynameisslimshady Fri 23-Aug-13 18:32:26

Hi Tammy, could you report this and get it moved to legal?

Hopefully someone there can help you.

I'm sorry you are going through this, what a nightmare sad

tammyem Fri 23-Aug-13 18:37:56

Social services have said if I go to court before next Thursday then they can put in their own case and they can win. But I want my baby away from him. Is there anything I can do. So what do I do?

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 23-Aug-13 20:03:12

hello
We have moved this to our legal topic
and are bumping for you
Hope you can get some support both in RL and on MN with this.

tammyem Fri 23-Aug-13 20:32:51

Thank-you very much. I just hope I can do something sooner rather then later

Collaborate Sat 24-Aug-13 00:16:47

Socail Services will have explained to you the concerns they have about parenting problems - and they must believe there are problems for them to be saying that if necessary they will take it to court (would be to get a care or supervision order).

You say the father took the baby 4 weeks ago under a residence order for 2 days. I'm unclear what you mean by that. Was a residence order recently made? If so, have those proceedings ended? What contact were you awarded in those proceedings?

tammyem Sat 24-Aug-13 00:24:02

Yeah the social services said that he had to stay with him from the Friday to the Sunday. And it would of got sorted on the Monday. But all they keep doing is giving me false hope. They have basically said that we have to do it ourselves so I can have visitation. But he is being funny and keeps letting me down.there is no residency order in place. But I can only get an appointment on Thursday to get an emergency residency order. Is there anything I can do now?

Collaborate Sat 24-Aug-13 07:14:16

Not really. What are the underlying reasons why SS have got involved (i.e. what do they say). Do they have any concerns about your parenting?

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 18:07:57

No they don't have any concerns about my parenting, my ex only has my son coz apparently I ain't stable. But after I have had my mental health assessment I can have him back. But he said he won't until I am safe. So what do I do?

Collaborate Sun 25-Aug-13 18:21:35

Who is doing the assessment, and when?

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 18:35:16

Its the mental health team at my doctors and it I'd on Wednesday. Is there anything I can do?

lougle Sun 25-Aug-13 18:41:26

"No they don't have any concerns about my parenting, my ex only has my son coz apparently I ain't stable."

Who says you aren't stable?

If you're unstable why haven't Social Services got any concerns?

"Social services have said if I go to court before next Thursday then they can put in their own case and they can win."

It sounds like Social Services do have some concerns. Am I confused?

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 18:47:04

Well my ex has told me that they have told him I ain't stable. They haven't told me themselves. They must not have any concerns as they wouldn't let me have him back after Wednesday. Its just my ex being difficult

lougle Sun 25-Aug-13 19:11:49

Do you have a mental health condition?

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 19:20:26

No I don't. They want me to do it so they can rule it out coz all my ex has sed that I am mental.

lougle Sun 25-Aug-13 19:50:02

Well, then the best thing you can do, hard as it is, is go along to the doctors on Wednesday, get the assessment done. Then you will have evidence that your ex is fabricating.

STIDW Sun 25-Aug-13 19:51:48

The problem with these types of allegations is the authorities sometimes have to treat them as though they might be true, just in case, whilst investigations are carried out.

No idea but bumping for you.

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 22:17:42

Is there any chance of getting my son back?

Lionessnurturingcubs Sun 25-Aug-13 23:06:24

Tammyem - sorry you are going through this.

What does the residency order state? Does the baby reside with you or the Father?

If it is the father then there is not much you can do until you have had the assessment. If it is with you, then you can go to court first thing Tuesday morning and apply for an emergency prohibited steps/specific issue order.

Also, phone Coram Children's Centre on Tuesday and they will guide you through it. Best of luck.

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 23:13:25

Me or the father hasn't got residency for the my son. He is just staying with his dad took u have dine the assessment on Wednesday. But he said he won't give him back to me till I an safe enough which ain't right.I have a solicitors appointment on Thursday to put in for an emergency residency order.

wannaBe Sun 25-Aug-13 23:20:48

op, what reason does your x have to state that you're not safe with the baby?

I know this is difficult, but if there are concerns about your mental health then your ex is it seems acting in what he perceives to be the best interests of his child. If I had concerns about my ex's mental health then there's no way I would be leaving my child in his care if he was still only a baby - it sounds as if your ex is just concerned for his child, esp given that he has said he doesn't want him to be with you until you are stable.

For social services to be involved there must be some concerns - they don't just take the word of someone saying "oh, x is mental, I'm keeping the baby," it really doesn't work like that.

so, keep the dr's appointment on Wednesday and have the assessment, once you have had that done you will be in a better position to go to court, and SS etc will have the relevant information in order to be able to make the best decisions in the interests of your child.

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 23:39:04

Because alledgedly I sent him a text saying I would kill myself. But has no proof. The social services have been on his side since day one. I have no mental health illnesses. They have told me to do it to rule it out but the social said after Wednesday I can have him back. He is being the difficult one and saying I can't have him back till he says so. I don't think so. I aint just gonna sit back and let him do that. Coz he would have him full time if he could but that ain't gonna happen!

tammyem Sun 25-Aug-13 23:40:34

Oh and the as has said its between us where my son lives. Not up to them. So this is why I am getting an emergency residency cone Thursday

Collaborate Mon 26-Aug-13 17:05:57

I'm afraid that if you've sent him a text like that you've an uphill struggle to get residence on thursday without a medical report saying that you're not at risk from doing that. Concentrate on addressing this issue first.

lougle Mon 26-Aug-13 20:48:00

'Allegedly'? Did you, or did you not, send the text?

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