What can i do next?

[needhelp999]

Me and my ex have split up 7 years ago . Our split was less than amicable and we are back and forward to court constantly. My ex uses my ds as a pawn and everytime custody arangements are made tries to push for more and more access. My ds does not want to go to his fathers house but I try and encourage contact where possible. Ds1 has just returned from a week at his fathers house. When he returned my ds told me he had been asking to come home for four days but his father would not let him. My son has now told me that when he asked to come home his father tried bribing him with various things. One of his bribes was to see his cousins. whose aunt (my sister) is prohibited by the courts from seeing my son due to various past issues. I was upset his father has let this happen already when last night my son said "All women apart from my fathers wife and Auntie want to sleep with black men." I don't know what to do as my husbands earnings are slightly too high for us to be eligible for legal aid and the legal advice centre near our house has said they can not help me because my ex has already received help and it would be a conflict of interest. What can I do?

[LesbianMummy1]

record everything you can not sure what else to advise but hopefully somebody will come along soon with better advice

[needhelp999]

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[LesbianMummy1]

bumping for you in hope you get more responses

[tartyhighheels]

I think you need to take this to court to get some help in resolving these issues - if you just stop contact you will fall foul of the law so is best to cover you arse. I really do think getting some legal advice is essential - i am in the same situation as you representing myself in court etc but really getting another view on it is vital - lots of places do give a free half hour..

good luck

and yes, def def record everything

[needhelp999]

We are recording everything that he tells us as have been advised of that in the past, my ds is really confused at the moment but i doubt he would come out with that sort of thing by himself its not the sort of thing an 8year old would come out with, i have in the past tried to discuss these issues with the ex only to have it thrown in my face, with him sayin "oh that must have been ure doing we would never say anything like that to him, why would we" so im in a no win situation at the mo but i will be seeking advise on this asap....

[needhelp999]

Im a bit concerned now as when asked if he thinks it wise to talk to someone other then me or dh he has said he wont tell anyone else as he is afraid he will get hurt, when i asked him what he meant he said ex might hit him i dont know what to do i dont want ds to worry about things......

[needhelp999]

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[needhelp999]

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[emsyj]

Travel to a legal advice centre that's further away? The same centre can't advise both of you, but you can certainly go to an alternative law centre and get advice there. Sorry I don't have any expertise in this area.

[needhelp999]

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[needhelp999]

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[Sassa]

Hi

pm me or e-mail [email protected] and I will help as much as I can.

[needhelp999]

We have been to court and do have specific issues in place on the contact order and i am sure he is breaking them and telling my ds to lie to me. I have come to the end of my teather as all my ds has to go through. I have in the past contacted social services as my ds has said that ex's wife hit him so hard that he headbutted the dinner table as she was trying to force him to eat his dinner they make him eat what they put in front of him even if he dosent want it. Social services did nothing to help him as they just had a phone conversation with him and all was left and no further action was taken. It has since been to court again as it goes back at least once a year as he still wants more and he refuses to give up till he has full custody of ds. At the moment ds has been reluctant to go to his dads and i am having to persuade him otherwise, he is supposed to phone me asap if my ds wants to come home at any point during access, which i have found out he has not allowed him to do, so making promices that he fails to keep and using my nieces and nephews who are my sisters children to go to his house to be with him, which i find no problem with, but there has been an order made that my sister does not see my ds due to other issues between ourselves but now he is putting all sorts of things into my ds's head and i have to reassure my ds that its not true etc i dont know where to turn

[Sassa]

If he has already breached the order by disobeying terms and /or putting your son at risk of harm, withdraw the contact and let him take you back to court. If he approaches you with his lawyer, explain succinctly why you have disallowed the contact. Let them lead the way and just stick to your guns. You know what is best for your son based on 'past events'. trust your instincts. pm me if you have specific questions.

Best regards

Sassa

[needhelp999]

Thankyou sassa i will pm you soon with what i need answers too..