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Were do I stand in court(4 Posts)
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Emergency Residency Orders...Please help!!!18
16/08/2010 22:34 linziluv
Hi...my 21 yr old sister has a 20 month old daughter to a married man. He's flitted in and out of their lives the whole time and has never paid. He pushed her so far this weekend that she took an overdose after an arguement and got took to hospital. The father took his daughter assuring my sister he would bring her back the next day when she was better. Now he's still got her (since sat) and neither the police or social services can do anything about it as he's named on the birth certificate and well within his rights apparently....as my sister is within her rights to snatch her back on the street....the law is crazy! Anyway, he's refusing all phone calls and phones the police when we go to his home (where he has his wife other kids and "love child"....strange I know). He wouldn't meet my mum yesterday, to give her some familiar stuff from home....he'd had a "stressful" day apparently. We've to go to the solicitors tomorrow to get an emergency residence order but are worrying to death that we aren't going to get her back.
Although my sister is experiencing difficulties it is all down to this excuse of a man who's abused her and lied from day one from his age to being married. He wasn't there when she went thru an abortion last year or a miscarriage 3 months ago. Will the courts work in her favour? How long is this going to take. I'm going out of my mind and it's breaking my heart to see my sister like this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
17/08/2010 09:20 ballstoit
What a mess linziluv, can only tell you from my experience with ex DH. Emergency residence order took his ex about a week to get.
Has your niece only ever lived with your sis? What amount of time does she spend with her dad? What will the childcare arrangements be while she is at her dads? Will he be caring for her himself or will it be his wife?
Most important from both the courts and your point of view is your sister's mental health. The court will not grant a residence order to someone who is at risk of attempting suicide. What has happened to your sister since she took the overdose? Has she been assessed by a psychiatrist? Has she also got an appointment with her GP for today in the hope of being referred for counselling?
What I am saying in all these questions is that the family court will make a decision in the best interests of the child. They dont care about the effect this has on parents, that's not their responsibility. If the court sees that your niece will be have a more stable home life while living with her dad, then this is the order they will make. I know this sounds harsh from your sister's point of view but it really is not going to make a difference that he's a rubbish boyfriend and husband. They're interested in his parenting only.
All my questions probably wont help but these are the kinds of questions the solicitor is likely to have. Let us know how she gets on. I can completely empathise with how retched she must feel, keep supporting her as much as you can.
18/08/2010 17:20 linziluv
She was assessed by the crisis team who don't believe she's suffering an acute mental illness which is good. They said it was a spontaneous act fuelled by alcohol(not uncommon) She has a counselling session next week and is being more than cooperative with all professionals involved. She was already being treated for depression since the miscarriage 3 months ago.
She isn't known to social services before this and has single handedly brought up her daughter with him coming round for an hour, disappearing for months, then back for a week....u can imagine! He also has never paid a penny. Baby has never spent a night away from her mummy and he has told us himself she's not eating or sleeping and is clearly missing her mummy...he just loves to rub salt in the wounds.
We are at court Friday morning....I'm a little worried he won't answer the door to summon him or he just won't turn up on friday.
18/08/2010 23:08 ballstoit
If he doesnt turn up the decision will be made without him. I've just felt sick reading your post, you and your sister must be finding this an absolute nightmare. I genuinely think that if he's never had proper contact and she's never stayed with him before the court will grant your sister a temporary residence order. Particularly with the strangeness of he being with his wife which could be very confusing.
Will you be going to court with her? Sounds ridiculous but the judge's impression of her can make a difference. So, she needs to nod at the right places and have no outbursts.
I'll be thinking of you both and your poor little niece, hope it all goes as it should do, please could you let me know how you get on?
19/08/2010 17:43 linziluv
This has been the most awful day yet...have spoke to social services and the bitch said she's safe and happy....happy??! I doubt that very much...bear in mind she's never spent more than a few hours away from her mummy. We're so scared we're not getting her back tomorrow...apparently if he doesn't turn up it will be adjourned and he'll be fined...same 2nd time but 3rd the decision will be made without him.
Is there any chance they'll give him custody?? My sister has got nothing against her other than stuff he makes up. Would the court ever see it that she's settled wiv him so no point uprooting her again?? I just need some reassurance from somewhere.
Off to the doctors to pick up the report from crisis team proving she has no mental illness.
19/08/2010 22:15 Tanga
Was the baby in her care when she took her overdose?
20/08/2010 23:04 linziluv
She's home!!!! Went to court this morning where the solicitor told us that today's hearing was for him to have his say, the judge wouldn't make any decisions today so she wouldn't be coming home today. The best we could hope for was contact at least. He even tried to blackmail us saying if we let him have her she could have contact, if she refused then she'd have to go thru contact centre!! Legalised blackmail or what! The judge took an instant dislike to him and tore an absolute strip off him! Told him in no uncertain terms that he was to have her back wiv mummy before 4pm today! She was back at 2:30 lol. You should have seen his face...the fact that a woman made him look 2cm tall will have galled him!
because my sister is the better person she has agreed that he can see her 2-4 on a sunday only...he's free to take her where he wishes but if she's not back to my auntie's by 4pm the police can be called and the law is finally on our side!
You know, he turned up at court with a file with a big picture of my niece in it!!! His solicitor got brought down a peg or two also! His statement contained too many accusations that were not relevant! When he dropped her off he said to my sister "make sure you look after her". I could kill him!!!
The judge was disgusted that he hadn't allowed us access...disgusted that he had left the child in the care of his wife whilst he was in court! My sister said the second she got in the courtroom the judge looked at her in a motherly way...and at him with contempt.....it was as if she saw straight through him. I could kiss her!!
My sister has an £80 a week drug habit...my mum a whizz head and I'm mental...lol...between psychiactric reports and drug tests I think we can safely say his case isn't looking too good!
I worry about what may happen on the outside of court to be honest...he really thought he was in with a chance today so he'll have lost his bottle now....it was never about my niece's best interests....it was always about hurting my sister. He'll maybe turn up a few sundays but he'll get bored....he wasn't bothered for 20 months so why now ?(another of the judge's words lol). Full hearing is in' october but I don't worry....we're all free from drugs, criminal records and mental illnesses so don't think he stands a chance!!
He even sent back a suitcase full of clothes, all of which had been removed from her bedroom that night...he had assured my sister he was taking her for the night (of which I completely agree with...she was in no fit state that night to look after a child)...why take so many clothes??? It was all planned...The evil **!
Oh yeah (sorry for jumping about and changing subject...lol....not on the planet tonight!), he actually threatened her in the courtroom...she interrupted him and told the judge "he just threatened me"...she told him to turn around and our solicitor pointed up....to a camera! he even got caught in the act lol...he's also refusing a drug test (my sis has admitted to drugs on friday...he's denied it).
I'm just so happy to have her back...I might be able to eat and sleep again lol!
27/08/2010 18:09 OnlyWantsOne
fantastic outcome for your neice
05/02/2015 01:15 Cantstandliars
Something similar has just happened to my grandchildren, there father has taken them and refused to return them to their mother,it's been nearly a fortnight, a court order is in place that states, he has them Friday to Sunday, and ,my daughter Sunday at 6pm until Friday, he won't answer her calls or text messages,he won't answer my husbands calls, or social services, yet he is happy to send my daughter a voicemail her son crying mummy mummy, the solicitors can't do anything, neither can social services or the police, he is in the army, and they don't appear to be able to help either, he has caused financial hardship to my daughter refusing to sign over the child benefit even though he was told to do so by a judge in September 2014, this has left my daughter unable to claim, child tax credits, so a measly, 60.00 a week to care for 2 children aged 2 & 3, in order to apply for a residencey order its 100.00, and 1000.00 for a solicitor as the children are not on child protection, we have already paid 2000.00 for a home for my daughter and children, refurbished a home bought clothes and toys bedding everything right down to toothbrushes and teaspoons, we have also been paying a 110.00 a month towards her rent,her husband did return some items damaged, smashed my grandsons new bed we had bought him, keeping the mattress, a. Double buggy, he is an emotional abuser but apparently this is not a crime, in fact something even a social worker, seems to encourage, if I am to believe the text messages, and voice mails that's another story, but should I publish that I want paying. It appears to me that a court order stands for nothing so if any MP can be bothered to read this it might be worth mentioning in the Houses of Parliment,
05/02/2015 14:50 STIDW
Cantstandliars, this is an issue for the family courts rather than police, social services or MPs. IF your daughter can't afford a solicitor she will need to make her own application and represent herself in court. In an emergency a court hearing can be held within a matter of days or even hours if necessary.
The Personal Support Unit in various courts in England & Wales can help litigants in person and they may help your daughter with forms and explaining the procedure. Basically she needs to complete a form C100 asking for interim residence and for the children to be returned, and a form asking for an emergency hearing. There is a court fee (see Form Ex50) and if your daughter is on a low income she may be to apply for a fees remission.
The forms and guides CB1 and CB3 are available to download from the Ministry of Justice website. Also there is a book "The Family Court without a Family Lawyer" by Lucy Reed and some useful resources on Lucy Reed's website nolawyer.
07/02/2015 03:16 Cantstandliars
Well after a long day at work and worrying endlessly about my kids and grandchildren, 3 am in the morning I've read your reply STIDW, thanks I'll get on to it Monday morning it's a shame that the people who should know something about the child law could of told us this, instead of making us feel like you have to sit there doing nothing, except worrying and by God have we ever been able to have a break from worrying . Thanks again
07/02/2015 03:28 StAndrewsDay
I'm glad she got her daughter back but given that she took an OD she might find herself getting some unwanted attention social services now.
And I think your sister really needs to get herself some birth control and knock the booze and the drugs on the head, don't you?
10/02/2015 21:11 Cantstandliars
The children returned Sunday, we all have to pretend it's hush hush never happened, men are allowed to emotionally abuse women use their kids as weapons, shh it's allowed, God Im so sick of professional whimps, if anyone one should be on zero hour contracts and minimum wage it's the professionals, not the bloody grafters, not all fathers are tossers by the way, I'm just referring to the man
my daughter stupidly married.
Yesterday 19:44 home2016
hi everyone im currently in a situation my daughter went her dads in august she was meant to be back 5 th september but he has refused to let her come home hes accused me my husband and my 4 sons of mental physical and emotional abuse we have been assessed by social services and they have cleared us of these false accusations and has been told by social worker to bring her home but he still refuses to she is not in any education down there or anything he sleeps in till late afternoon and leaves her to make her own cereal the social went there the other day they was in bed (him and his gf) but my daughter went to the livingroom window (were she currently sleeps due to no bedroom) to see who was there , so now im having to go court to get her back what are my chances here not to mention he has no parental rights hes not on certificate but plans to move with her also
I went to see solicitor gotta get £1200 together for her to put the case to court
She defo needs school she's in year 2 yupbi have and because he has DNA paper to prove he's her dad the police won't get involved sad and nope she has no bed to sleep in only a sofa not to mention he has a 6 month old son too and a weed addiction so what are my chances of getting her back in court he won't let me speak to her or see her either
Only the last parts are mine didn't mean to copy full thread
If there is a court order in place that specifies timings why won't police get involved?? Dad on the paperwork or not!!
There isnt a court order I copied all thread by accident it's only last part that's mine
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