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Neighbours and their behaviour

(59 Posts)
howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 01:06:17

They are low grade pains in the arse. I won't give the laundry list. One issue. They placed tape on my property without asking my permission. They ripped it off and took off the paint. I asked them in writing to propose what they were going to do to fix. No proposal in writing they want to talk I don't for medical reasons. They have today painted just the damaged strip again touching my property without permission.

I feel they are trying to piss me off on purpose and have a fight. I am getting to the point where I am beginning to fucking hate them it feels like they are trying to annoy me on purpose and cause continual problems to gain my attention.

What do I do? I think ignore, my adult DD thinks I should go on them like a tonne of bricks now or they will continue.

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 01:10:55

I am not able to sleep I am angry they are damaging my property and various other things continually and it's making me physically ill. The hospital wrote that stress physical or emotional makes me physically ill.

I want tuck all to do with the weirdos.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Wed 15-Jun-16 01:40:31

I don't know that it's unreasonable of them to try to talk to you, tbh.

The removing paint thing sounds like an accident that they were trying to fix by repainting - how would they obtain your permission if you won't speak with them? If they don't know why not, they would probably think it very peculiar to be shoving notes under your door...

EBearhug Wed 15-Jun-16 01:47:12

From what you've posted, they sound quite reasonable and you don't at all, so what else is going on that it causes you this much stress?

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 01:55:19

I have a hospital letter instructing me not to stand and avoid stress physical and emotional. Communication via letter is best for my health. Fine I am unreasonable, message received, anyone can do what they want to my house and have power and control of my property.

EBearhug Wed 15-Jun-16 02:39:18

I didn't say you are unreasonable - I said from what you posted, you sound unreasonable - but it sounds like there is more going on. You implied that in your first post. However, no one here is a mind reader, and you'be given us very little to go on.

Do they know that you have health issues, so communication by letter is preferable? They don't need to know the details, just to know there is a reason why you don't talk directly.

Why do you think they're trying to piss you off on purpose? Going by the little you have told us, it sounds like they did accidental damage which they have tried to put right, not deliberately picking a fight. You may be right about them, but we don't know any more than you've told us to be able to judge.

You are being unreasonable to say anyone an do what they want - that is not the case, and you know it, and in saying it, you sound like a stroppy teenager - again, I'm sure you're not, but it's how your writing is coming over - and if you can only communicate by writing, then that's going to be important.

Other than the letter from the hospital, how are you managing stress? Do you get any counselling or anything, to help you build strategies to handle difficult situations in ways which are less likely to cause things to escalate? Maybe you need someone who can help you write things in a way that is assertive but not confrontational, so you can get your point across in a way that doesn't get other people's backs up. That way, the outcome should be more successful and less stressful for you.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Wed 15-Jun-16 03:20:01

As Ebear has pointed out, we don't have much to go on, here. One incident has been described - placing tape on your house which damaged the paint. This is easily done by accident, and they have tried to communicate with you, and fix the damage, so I'm not sure this amounts to having 'power and control' over your house.

We don't know the other incident, so it's hard to judge malicious intent, for example. It would also help to know what condition means you can't stand or speak - do you have a carer in that case, who could advocate?

Believeitornot Wed 15-Jun-16 03:24:51

Is the painting one issue or the only issue?

Do they know why you won't talk?

It sounds like they tried to fix your property - why is that bad?

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 09:11:12

I don't go around sticking tape on their house or car. I don't peel off tape and take paint off. I don't touch up the paint badly. I don't touch others property without permission.

I am not posting in AIBU. I am not supplying anyone and everyone my full medical records.

They know I ill. I made it clear in the letter I would like a proposal of their intentions I didn't give them freedom to do as they please to my property.

I did state they are continually behaving dreadfully. I won't give a laundry list. One other incident, is no party wall agreement and I had to call the LA in as they stripped plaster off the adjoining wall and rest of the house, no communication, no party wall notice, no survey. 7 am to 10pm Monday to Sunday.

Thank you for your input, I won't do as my DD suggested. I will continue to ignore them.

OurBlanche Wed 15-Jun-16 09:16:58

Cuuld you ask MN to delete this thread and the start again in Legal?

This sounds as though you are very stressed about their behaviour and feel powerless to do anything about it.

If you start agan over in Legal, with a tiny bit more clarity, you might get some advice you can act on.

Good luck.

FeckinCrutches Wed 15-Jun-16 09:18:54

Why did they stick tape on the outside of your house?

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 09:28:39

I assume they have no respect for others and were only thinking of their needs, that I would just suck it up. They added about 15cm of polystyrene insulation to the outside of their home then plastered it. I assume they placed tape to ensure it had a sharp line and looked nice with a good finish for their property.

I have asked this be moved to legal.

SymphonyofShadows Wed 15-Jun-16 09:37:12

They don't need a party wall notice to strip plaster off their own walls

FeckinCrutches Wed 15-Jun-16 09:40:19

But they've fixed the damage now? I'm sure they don't need permission to strip plaster in their own house either.

PaulAnkaTheDog Wed 15-Jun-16 10:01:07

They rectified relatively minor damage. I'm kinda lost about what the issue now is. confused

BishopBrennansArse Wed 15-Jun-16 10:03:10

I don't think it's the neighbours that are causing problems here...
Try a little tolerance and understand that everyone makes mistakes sometimes. They've attempted to rectify the problem.
Seems they can't do right for doing wrong.

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 10:28:24

Of course, I should be more tolerant. Maybe I should invite these people into my home tonight and ask them to damage my floor, drill holes in my living room and drop cigarette ask on my furniture.

I didn't invite these people into my life or home. I didn't give them permission to touch my property.

PaulAnkaTheDog Wed 15-Jun-16 10:31:04

I think there is clearly a lot more going on with you than just this issue. You're reaction to your neighbours was odd and your response there on this was bizarre. I hope you get this sorted but I honestly don't know what you're expecting. They rectified the problem with little to no hassle.

FeckinCrutches Wed 15-Jun-16 10:32:43

But they aren't in your home. OP are you getting any help with your stress? You're not being very clear in your posts about what is actually happening and you sound in a fragile state mental health wise.

joellevandyne Wed 15-Jun-16 10:34:15

If your melodramatic responses to people in this thread who were politely trying to be helpful are any measure of your reasonableness, then I feel rather sorry for your neighbours.

BishopBrennansArse Wed 15-Jun-16 10:35:33

Perhaps you should, OP.
Then you'd actually have grounds for complaint.

howtorebuild Wed 15-Jun-16 10:37:09

I am stuck in the psychological game of "Schlemeil" www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/schlemiel/ I don't want it. I did not invite them in and I don't want part of it, I don't know how to get out of it. As the instructions are to not be friends with them nor have them in your house. I am not their friend and they don't come in my house.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 15-Jun-16 10:37:43

Exactly what Joelle said!

LuckySantangelo1 Wed 15-Jun-16 10:39:31

With the best will in the world OP I don't think you sound very well. You aren't reacting proportionately to what your neighbours have been doing. Maybe speak you your GP about how you have been feeling, they should be able to give you some medication or counselling for your anxiety. I hope you feel better soon.

PaulAnkaTheDog Wed 15-Jun-16 10:40:40

I'm rather worried about your daughter encouraging you on this.

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