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talk me through divorce

(7 Posts)
MrsDeathOfRats Thu 12-May-16 20:02:00

So I instructed solicitor yesterday.
Client care package is sitting at my mums address right now and I will go there tomorrow to get it.

So... How long does it take?
I sign this care package and whatever tomorrow saying I'm happy with their terms and coats etc

Then what? How and when does the actual petition get filed?

Also, I am citing unreasonable behaviour and I need 3 or 5 examples?

What exactly constitutes UB. I could come up with loads of examples but actually I want to keep things as amicable as possible and also I don't want it drawn out so don't want to cite the really nasty stuff. Or is that a stupid move?

Any advice, would be gratefully received
TIA

MrsDeathOfRats Thu 12-May-16 20:02:47

Coats - should read costs. I'm not that bothered about their coats unless they are wearing fur or something. That would be off putting

MrsBertBibby Thu 12-May-16 21:24:22

UB is a broad church, from assault and battery to being insensitive and unhelpful. For less serious allegations, it is helpful to explain the behaviour and how it made you feel. 'He never put his laundry in the basket' sounds petty. ' He never put his laundry in the basket and it made me feel unvalued and degraded, especially as I told him so repeatedly' shows why the behaviour means you can't reasonably be expected to live with him, which is what must be established.

Keeping it to the minimum is good practice. Also, no parenting criticisms unless you absolutely have to,

MrsDeathOfRats Fri 13-May-16 10:01:11

Thanks for reply.

Just read through the care package from solicitors and I simply can not afford to use them.

From the initial consultation the costs have pretty much doubled and by the time it's all done I'm looking at thousands and thousands that I simply don't have!!

So I need to know how I can do this without a solicitor

concertplayer Fri 13-May-16 12:30:32

Then all you can do if you want a divorce is:
1.Live separately for 2 years and ask him to agree to the divorce.It shouldn't be
too expensive
2. If he does not agree then you will need to live separately for 5 years.Then it
becomes automatic I think you may need to a sols to push it through but it is
nominal.
I think the above may be more difficult if there is a custody dispute.

Collaborate Fri 13-May-16 13:09:06

Concertplayer - not true. OP can still petition for divorce based on the other 4 facts - UB, adultery, desertion and 5 years separation.

She'll just have to pore through all the self-help literature the court gives out, or seek a fixed fee arrangement with a firm.

tiggerbounce77 Fri 13-May-16 23:32:44

If it is a simple divorce you can do it all yourself, you just have to lay the court fees and if you tick the right box you may be able to get him to pay. The cab was really helpful when I had to do it

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