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Need advice regarding brother on the SOR and access to my DCs (8 and 6)

(6 Posts)
rubmytrotters Sun 10-Apr-16 09:03:37

I posted on Chat a few weeks ago regarding the situation with my brother. Alcoholic, found guilty of propositioning a 15yr old girl and communicating in a sexually explicit manner, claims he was pissed at the time and can't recall a lot. Witnesses (this happened in a shop I believe) confirmed that he was indeed pissed but he did definitely approach the girl and say everything that he was accused of. Has a history of going on benders, can sometimes be violent but to my knowledge has never done anything like this before and this is the first time he has been charged with any such offence. Now on the SOR for 3yrs and needs to attend weekly "meetings" for sex offenders.

I live next door to my parents. Brother lives on the other side of the city and will visit sporadically, normally when he's been dry for a few weeks.

SS contacted us after he was convicted and explained that there could be no unsupervised contact. I explained that due to his history he had limited contact with the DCs and I have never left them in his care. He had only every been around them if I was there or if DM was looking after them for an hour whilst I nipped to the supermarket. I advised SS that, given my proximity to my parents and the unpredictability of my brother's visits, they would have no contact with him, supervised or otherwise.

Although she was initially hysterical at the charges, DM seems to be playing it all down now and doesn't appreciate my concerns about DB being at the house when the kids are there. I honestly don't think he would ever harm them but my concern comes from SS being involved in my family and having to contact the DCs school. I explained that "unsupervised" access meant something as simple as her doing some gardening whilst the DCs were watching tele alone with him in the house. That is not going to happen as I've told her if he's there then the kids won't be, but am I correct in thinking that SS would become more involved in our lives if something as innocent as the above scenario occurred ? Apologies if I sound like a totally neurotic mother but there are a lot of other things going on with my parents at the moment and I'm at breaking point. I want my DPs to get it into their f*cking heads exactly what the consequences could be for me and MY family if the SS became involved further.

rubmytrotters Sun 10-Apr-16 09:04:56

I've contacted the Family Rights Group for some advice but they're closed until Monday. Was just hoping there may be someone on here who had been in a similar situation and could talk me through the different "what if" situations.

ElsieMc Sun 10-Apr-16 09:10:22

You have to be seen to safeguard your dcs. It does not matter what your parents think. The children cannot be left alone, under any circumstances with your DB, he is a convicted sex offender and it will be seen as you leaving them unsupervised with him. I know I sound very harsh here, but your DM is in denial and he cannot be around your dcs.

Someone will hopefully come along who has more experience of this than I do - I am a grandparent carer - and my dd's alcohol issues meant she initially saw the children on visits supervised by ss.

rubmytrotters Sun 10-Apr-16 09:25:40

Thanks EliseMc

AltogetherAndrews Sun 10-Apr-16 11:13:34

If your DM isn't taking it seriously, it's worth pointing out to her that if he is found having any unsupervised contact with children, he is committing an offence, for which he can be jailed, and which will certainly extend his period on the register by many years.

rubmytrotters Sun 10-Apr-16 16:42:04

Thanks Altogether

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