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Abusive ex and my son's school

(8 Posts)
barkingtree Tue 08-Mar-16 14:15:16

Hi,
I am wondering if anyone can give me advice about whether I have a legal right to see emails my ex has been sending to my son's school about me (From what the teachers have said and from what I know from letters he's sent to family members in the past, it sounds like he's telling people I'm mentally ill, etc, ranting about what a bad mother I am - I'm not BTW smile )
The school think they aren't allowed to disclose to me what he's been saying or show me the emails but they are not very sure (though they let slip a bit. They are finding him to be nightmare so are very supportive of me and hopefully will help my son -It's a new school) but I wondered if I can reassure them that they are allowed to show me emails that pertain to me and my son. It would be handy to have these emails if we end up in court again (which we prob will- he takes me to court ALOT)
The school are a bit flustered over what they can and can't do.
I also wanted advice as he has shown several people, including the school, confidential court documents from our child contact court case a few years ago. I know he's not allowed to show anyone these confidential court documents and have written to him telling him this in the past (he's shown them to about six people that I know of) but what can I do to stop him doing this. The docs contain my very personal medical history. The teacher has seen them and the admin staff- cringe. Of course he only shows the bits that make me look bad. I feel like showing them a pile of letters from our couples counsellor saying he's a nut job but that might make me as bad as him.

pertempsnooo Tue 08-Mar-16 20:21:51

Tempting I know, but let him look bad- he's obviously got a chip on his shoulder. Possibly worth a solicitors letter?
But just try to remember that schools must see a lot of this. The resentful, abusive now single dad is not as uncommon as you might think. Sadly. Don't be drawn into his game. I know it's hard.

barkingtree Tue 08-Mar-16 20:27:41

Yeah I know. I won't stoop to his level.
The school says it's very common.

aginghippy Thu 10-Mar-16 11:16:16

I don't know the answer, but I suggest you contact the Information Commissioner's Office for advice. They have a helpline 0303 123 1113 or 01625 545 745. You may be able to make a subject access request under the data protection act.

I would question why the school even need to hold such information about you. Just because your ex emails them, doesn't mean they have to do anything with the emails.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 10-Mar-16 11:18:57

I doubt they can do this due to confidentiality. Organisations can breach confidentiality where there are persons at risk of harm and to do this it would be giving information to police or SS

MsJamieFraser Fri 18-Mar-16 06:52:32

No they could not show you emails he has sent to them, even if the include personal details of you or your son under the Data Protection Act.

Hereward1332 Fri 18-Mar-16 14:32:33

Which part of the DPA protects the emails?

From what the OP says, any personal information that's contained in them is about her, not her ex. She is the Data Subject and should be able to submit a Subject Access Request to obtain details of any personal information held.

TheFormidableMrsC Fri 18-Mar-16 14:47:22

My ex-h does this, and also forwards correspondence between us to the school as apparently my behaviour "is a cause for concern" hmm. He also discovered my MN threads about our divorce and sent links to them to the headmistress clearly didn't give any thought to what a twat he made himself look. The school are fully aware of the situation between us. They do not disclose anything, which I respect. I am sure they see this sort of thing all the time. I would send a cease and desist via a solicitor. I really feel for you, it's bloody rubbish, it really is flowers

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