Recent separation, house his on deeds and 2 x mortgages-can I make him pay these mortgages AND get maintenance??

[Hotlips99]

Help!! My long term unmarried partner left me last year after 16 years together. We have two daughters (12 and 14) who are mainly resident with me (he has them 1 to 2 nights per week, is living in a house share with others) He inherited the house that I am still living in by his late father, with no mortgage outstanding at the time but during our 12 years there, he took two mortgages out (consolidation of debts, upgrading the house etc) and both home loans are in his name only. The house is also his and his alone on the deeds. Since leaving me, he has continued to pay both the mortgages (£625.00 pcm total) from his separate bank account but is now saying I should not be asking for child maintenance on top, which I want. I want £300 pcm to help me out with the girls. I work three days weekly part time, get WTC, CTC and CBen and effectively I live rent free. He is clear he wants the children to inherit the house and that I am in no danger of having to move out until both daughters come of age and decide what they want to do with the property. He is happy for me to live there rent free with him paying both the mortgages as long as I pay for the council tax and all the household bills. He says he can't afford to give me £300 pcm as well, as it would take £900 pcm out of his wage a month. He earns £26K gross per year? I am going to see a solicitor as I want that maintenance as well. I feel he should be paying HIS mortgages on HIS house anyway, is responsible for the roof over our heads, that I should not have to pay anything towards HIS mortgages on HIS house AND that HE should be giving me separate child maintenance too! Am I wrong? What is my position legally? Has anyone else gotten the all the mortgage paid AND maintenance on top? Thanks in advance.

[Tribblewithoutacause]

I'm not a legal bod, but I'm not sure how much further you'd get. £900 pcm out of a 26k wage would leave him very little left over just to live on himself. Also, he is providing for his children as you have a house and you're not paying rent. According to the CM calculator the minimum he should be paying is £69 per week for both children.

Whilst the mortgage is on HIS house, you're getting the benefit of living there rent free. That's a huge expense you don't have to pay. Whilst I understand where you're coming from, I'm not sure how far you'd get.

[Hotlips99]

Thank you, Tribble!

[titchy]

As you're not married he owes you the grand total of fuck all. His only responsibility is to his kids, which he is fulfilling by housing them.

You are currently doing EXTREMELY well out of him.

[rusticmeadowwildflower]

I'm not sure that's entirely true titchy.

[mouldycheesefan]

Titchy is right.

[Cabrinha]

Is this a joke?
Or a mistype?
£26K gross is about £1750 take home per month.
You want £925 of that?! So more than half BEFORE you add on your wages and benefits?!

After 16 years you might have some interest in the house - but that would be a share of the equity, not a right to ongoing housing.

See a solicitor to find out what you're entitled to, but I do think you should consider working full time before deciding you're entitled to over half of his take home pay!

[DontCareHowIWantItNow]

Titchy is right.

He could get you to leave the house. He hasn't.

On 26k you won't get £900 plus per month out of him when he is probably only taking home £1,400 ish per month.

What do you expect HIM to live on?

[OddBoots]

Is this a reverse?

[Shutthatdoor]

£26K gross is about £1750 take home per month.

Less than that even.

[MissBattleaxe]

I think you're asking too much. I think he is being generous.

[LazyDaysAndTuesdays]

You can't actually be serious OP

[BunnyTyler]

He's paying back loans he took out on a house that ultimately belongs to him - OP will get nothing back from that ever.

£300 pcm maintenance is not exactly a huge amount for 2 children, and OP will be covering all actual living expenses.

I think that's a perfectly reasonable arrangement if both sides agree to it, but have no idea what OP would actually be 'entitled' to if ex partner isn't in agreement.

[Cabrinha]

She'd be entitled to very little, they're not married. So it's all about what she actually put into his house financially, to try to establish a claim.
And I think when it's a boyfriend not a husband, looking after kids counts for zilch.

How can you possibly consider more than half his wages fair?!

[DontCareHowIWantItNow]

£300 pcm maintenance is not exactly a huge amount for 2 children, and OP will be covering all actual living expenses.

No she isn't. There is no rent for starters.

[Bubblesinthesummer]

If I was him I'd give you the £300 then start charging you rent!

[DragonMamma]

I think you're doing very well out of this.

Being unmarried I think you'd have very little claim on the house, especially since it's essentially been mortgage free since you lived there.

I think you're being massively cheeky to expect more than half his wages each month. Your kids are older so if I were you, I'd be looking at getting more hours at work.

Just think, if you didn't live in your current house, you wouldn't expect him to pay you £300 plus the cost of you renting a property.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

[Wardy1993]

Hey odd I've always wondered what is a reverse??

Oh and op you've got no chance. He's doing his fair share, count yourself lucky.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Wardy a reverse is where you pretend to be the other party in the dispute in order to gauge reactions to their actions.

In this case, the OP would really be the man, wanting to check if all women/Mumsnet users agree with what he percieves to be unreasonable behaviour.

[Wardy1993]

Aaaahh! Excellent. Very crafty!!! I'm going to be really paranoid about this from no law on aren't I?!

[QuiteLikely5]

You are very lucky! If you want your £300 move out and contact the CSA

[rusticmeadowwildflower]

I can't believe people think OP is 'lucky' for £150 per child per month. Which is - what? Less than £40 a week?

Ooh so she's not paying rent. Except there's value in those properties going in his back pocket?

Blimey.

[DontCareHowIWantItNow]

Ooh so she's not paying rent. Except there's value in those properties going in his back pocket?

No it is going to their DC.

[Hotlips99]

I actually was serious!! I only get £780.00 wages a month and then my working benefits on top! Which I don't think is a lot. I didn't ask for him to leave, it was his choice, so I don't see why I should pay HIS mortgages for him on HIS house, despite the fact I get to live here for free! I've been working for 2 years now and never had to pay for all this before. And they're his daughters too, he has to home them! They love this house, why shouldn't we all stay here?! I am also convinced he was seeing someone before he left, he certainly has someone now! Very quickly after he left too!!! As far as I'm concerned, he is a cheat and a liar. He'll move in with her soon enough, he'll have money for that, won't he??? Whole thing is unfair as I see it. Someone told me I CAN get the mortgages paid by him as they are HIS! Why should I go without any maintenance too???

[RudeElf]

What would rent on the house be OP if it was on the market? Work that out then find out what rent would be for you alone in a one bed place/house share. Deduct that from the market rent value of the house and thats what it is 'costing' you to house the children. You are liable for half that cost and he is liable for the other half (not legally i should imagine but if we're being fair). As it stands he is covering that full cost meaning he is covering your share of housing costs for the DC. If your share that he is paying comes to more than what the CSA say he should pay in maintenance then you're doing ok. I expect youre doing ok.

[rusticmeadowwildflower]

The point is that it is still his financial asset not hers. He is paying the mortgage and she will benefit from it in the short term but with no wider claim to the property.