Not sure if this is the right thread - if there is a better home, please let me know.
In terms of full disclosure, I am the wife of the NRP but I have no issue at all with him paying maintenance (other than the fact she has refused to let him see his kids for six years despite him having a judgement in his favour for access). I was had not met him when they were married so I was not the OW.
So the old CSA is coming to an end and he has to move onto the new CMS system.
DH is more than happy to pay direct. He has been paying on the nose every four weeks (its when he gets paid) since they divorced eight years ago. As advised by the CMS, he has written to the PWC asking for her bank details so he can continue to make payments to he directly.
However, we fear that she may well refuse to give them on the basis that she just likes to make his/our life difficult. E.g. as I earn more than he does, she’s repeatedly trying to get him re-assessed since she’s convinced he must be earning more than he is (its out with her life experience that women can have decent careers).
I totally would not put it past her to insist on the collect and pay system just to cost us 20% more (even though she gets 4% less). To give a back ground – every time he’s tried to exercise his rights to see his children, one of their older step siblings (her children from a previous marriage) lodge a claim of abuse against him which is later found to be malicious. They get reprimanded but it doesn’t stop him being investigated and our /and my company’s computers being seized on at least two occasions. No charges are ever brought against the siblings for malicious accusations. He’s tried to insist on contact centre access but the PWC refuses to bring them along on the basis that they are now afraid of him (because of the allegations brought by the siblings). Sadly they are now 15 and 17 so the damage has been done and I don’t think it will ever be repaired.
I guess what I’m trying to understand is:
- What happens if she doesn’t give her bank details – can she force the CMS involvement even though she is the one being uncooperative
- DH will continue to put the payments into an account for the kids whilst this is being sorted so there is no issue there however he’s been led to believe that if he’s willing to pay and she wont play ball, there is no official maintenance liability and would therefore be no arrears as she is in effect not claiming it. I find this hard to believe.
- When his son turns 18, can he stop paying and ask her to prove he’s still in education or training. Again, he’ll keep the money saved in case he is still in it, but he doesn’t want to pay this woman a penny more than he has to. He’s more than willing to help support his son directly if he needs it but I don’t think its unreasonable to expect his son to acknowledge him in this case.
He wants to pay maintenance as required but I don’t see why we should be subject to 20% surcharge because of her vindictiveness.
I’m just trying to make sure I know the facts and where we stand to avoid ill feeling getting any worse.
Thanks in advance