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Contact order from drug addict ex. Help/Advice greatly appreciated.

(6 Posts)
Loveisallyouneed22 Thu 26-Nov-15 22:48:24

Il try stick to the facts and keep this simple. ☺

I am so stressed and worried. My babys is 7 months old. Her dad was a heroin addict in recovery when i met him. (I didnt know I found his methadone bottle when I was already pregnant)

He had a good job. Was lovely. Once I spoke to him about kicking heroin I was proud hed done so well to quit it and I decided to support him on the condition he weaned off methadone in time for the baby being born. This never happened. Just excuse after excuse.

When my daughter was 10 weeks old I caught him completely wrecked at 7am on a Monday morning. I found out it was oxycontin (hillbilly heroin) and I chucked him out there and then.

2 days later he lost his job as he was lying in the street outside his place of work on drugs. Again at 7am after a nightshift.

I have allowed him back on 3 occassions in the 5 months for supervised contact after passing drug tests. However on the 3rd occassion (3 months ago) he was on amphetamine, turned aggressive, violent, unpredictable. Iv not allowed him back.

I have told him he must prove he is off all drugs and commit to being a good role model before he sees his daughter. I have tried to encourage a relationship by saying he can see her if he proves he is off drugs. But he wont. I have gave him chance after chance too see her.

Even recently I offered contact if he does drugs tests. But he always makes excuses then says "im playing god" turning it on me so im the bad one.

Hes still on methadone, and also valium. This makes him 'nod off' or 'gouche' and he refuses to see why its a problem. I just can not allow him access as he is not safe and he is putting my daughter in danger. He was not like this when I was with him. Hes definately taking alot of valium above the prescription the dr gives him.

He has also admitted to taking gabapentin, cocaine, speed, ecstacy, various prescription pills and he takes methadone. He takes drugs every day.

He lies constantly about going to rehab and doing tests.

He is now taking me to court for contact. Even though I have offered him contact. I cant sleep or eat worrying he will get unsupervised access to my precious, vulnerable baby. He says he will as its only prescription drugs.

I am in hell. I want her to have a dad but he is not capable of putting her wellbeing above his own selfish drug use. She will come to harm if he gets unsupervised contact. So I cannot allow contact. But he says im playing god.

She had a brain scan last week and he didnt even call. Hes not interested in her. If he was hed get off drugs and see her as I am offering contact. He just wants to cause stress for me.

Can anyone share a similar experience with me and tell me the outcome of the judges decision? Help explain the process and what will happen. Will ge be drug tested? Will social work do a report? Can they access his medical records?

Btw he has history. He has a 15 year old son he was not allowed to see for 12 years due to his heroin use (I didnt know until I found the methadone bottle)

All i want is to ensure my daughter is safe, happy and well looked after.

Thank you.

Draylon Sun 29-Nov-15 11:20:14

I can't help at all except to offer flowers and bump!

MissFitt68 Sun 29-Nov-15 11:28:31

Yes this will all be investigated so don't worry

Access will likely be in a contact centre. Observed with concerns reported back. If he's not interested it won't get this far. He's also got to attend court and solicitors.... A further test of his dedication

Fuckitfay Sun 29-Nov-15 12:02:34

you'll be contacted for a safeguarding phone interview by CAFCASS before the first hearing. They will check his police record and any previous social services contact. He will most certainly be ordered to do a drugs test with the concerns you have and the admissions. Hair strand drugs tests go over 3 month periods and are very accurate although there may be an issue over who pays for it. The court can also order a medical report / medical disclosure.
Do you have a solicitor?

Loveisallyouneed22 Mon 30-Nov-15 18:19:38

Hi everyone. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes I have a solicitor. I have a second appt on the 8th dec. I have only had one lawyers letter from him stating if I didnt arrange contact he would raise a contact order. So far I have heard nothing else.

I have tried several times in the past two weeks to arrange visitation. He keeps saying he has done tests but on the day Im meant to get results he disappears. Such as today. He promised I would get results today and hes not been in touch.

I have contacted social services myself to report him and I am waiting on them calling back.

He randomly messaged me on fri night saying he was "going to take down a massive drug dealer. Put him in a sleeper and steal all his stuff" by stuff i presume he means drugs and cash.

I text him back that he was a disgrace and he seemed to think his behaviour is acceptable. He was most likely on drugs I think.

For a start why does he even know a drug dealer? And how does he know what he has in way of drugs and cash? Hes obviously around there alot and mixing with some very dodgy people.

So I feel slightly better. I have alot of good evidence to prove to a judge that he can not ensure her safety or look after an infant. So any contact granted must be supervised with notes.

smile xx

SugarDiabetes Thu 31-Dec-15 23:49:40

How is it going, OP?

I hope he's crawled back under a rock now.

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