Appointing guardians for children?

[ThePartyArtist]

Recently DH and I discussed the issue of appointing guardians. It's all hypothetical at the moment as child is not yet born! But I wondered, does it make more sense to decide these things so you have something in place from day 1, or is it better to wait and see how friends / family bond with your child?

We both agreed our parents are probably not suitable due to age and distance from where we live.

Our siblings don't live nearby either, and factors such as not maternal, too young, unstable job / housing, unsuitability of their partner, and child-rearing values would probably rule them all out one way or another.

So that really leaves friends. Which looks like this:

Female friend 1 and her husband - Live far away, so it's likely would see our child a few times a year. However shared values re: parenting and in general. Very family orientated. Very longterm friendships of mine (since school). Stable housing situation.

Female friend 2 and her husband - Live near-ish (an hour's drive) so likely to see our child more often. Not so shared values re: parenting and in general. Don't know husband very well despite having technically known him for years. Stable housing situation.

Male friend and his partner - live nearby but due to busy lives would expect they'd see the child about as much as female friend 2. Both teachers so reasonably child-orientated. Don't have own children. Stable house and wide extended family nearby. We know him well (though he is more my husband's friend than mine). Don't feel we know her very well. This option is my husband's preference.

[mumblechum1]

Hi OP I'm a willwriter and this quandrary is a very common one! Not many clients have a perfect guardian waiting in the wings, so often I suggest that you appoint more than one. Also remember that your will is not written in concrete and so you can always change it as and when circumstances change.

I can't tell you which of your various options would be best but I'd suggest that you appoint 2 people as joint guardians. Don't bother adding their spouse/partner, just in case they don't stay together. You can also appoint another as a backup guardian in case neither of the others are able to act.

Remember also that the guardian doesn't necessarily have to have the child living with them, but can make arrangements for their care elsewhere.

You should also consider writing (and regularly updating) a letter of wishes, which is a separate document, to be kept with your copy of the will. The wishes you express for a baby/toddler are likely to change as they grow up, so you should regularly review that document and replace or amend it as appropriate.

If you'd like any further info just ask!

[ThePartyArtist]

Thank you, that's very helpful. Hadn't thought of that.

[mumblechum1]

let me know if you have any other questions