Need to do our wills - please advise

[BetteDavis01]

Hello

My DH and I got married last year and have two DC both under 5. After DC1 was born my then DP and I made a will but lots has changed since then, DC2 came along, we got married & we bought a house, plus not as close to DM now.

So, we need to make a new will. I assume it will be a mirror will, so if I die first, house goes to DH and he will carry on caring for the children and vice versa.

However, it's the scenario of us both dying at once ( say in a plane crash) that is troubling me and the DC's are left orphaned whilst under 18. It's really worrying me. So, we have a house, plus pensions and a small savings pot. Children can't inherit house or money themselves can they until they reach 18? so what happens to the house & money? Who will be in control of it and keep it safe for the DC's?

Biggest concern of all, who will care for DC's if we both die? I don't speak to my father and I'm not very close to DM any more. My MIl passed away years ago and my wonderful FIL is in poor health. We both have brothers who are kind people but not really up to caring for two DC's. What do people do in this situation?

Is there anything else I need to consider before we visit solicitor? Grateful for any advice, thank you.

[BetteDavis01]

Bump! Please help going to book appointment today!

[Crosbybeach]

The who would look after your kids is a big question, but not one that should stop you making a new will. It's v unlikely that the provision will be invoked, but it needs to be there.

My sister asked me to look after her 4 kids if her and her DH both died. I'm the least maternal person in the world, but she figured I'd do it and look after them, which I would have done. Her husband was an orphan and only child and my brothers would have been useless/abroad respectively. Our mum was in a care home for years so was out the picture for this.

Your brothers may be in the same position, i.e. not immediate first choice but they'd do it.

You can nominate friends instead if you have v good friends.

[BetteDavis01]

Thank you Crosby x

[PurpleWithRed]

in the extremely unlikely event of you both dying then your children can inherit everything but it will go into a trust, so you need to have trustees who you can trust. Your solicitor will talk you through this but basically it will be two or three people who will have to agree among themselves decisions for the children. So as part of the will you will need to leave clear instructions for what you want to happen to the kids (private schools? cars? houses? university education? when do they get control of their money?) so the trustees have guidance.

[BetteDavis01]

Hi purple. Wow that's a lot to consider. Do I have to have made all of those decisions regarding the kids futures, before I meet with the solicitor? Can my will be an on going document that I can add to?

[BetteDavis01]

In the scenario of us both dying in a plane crash, do I we need to appoint an executor of the will? How many executors can you have? Also, can the executors be the same people who we have appointed to care for the kids in the event that we both die?

[sleepingdragon]

I used a munsnetter who runs Marlow wills to write my will last year. She made it really easy - all done via telephone email and post, and answered all my questions similar to yours above. I highly recommend her, so much so that I have found her latest thread in the small business posts: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/small_business_ads/2423139-Still-Putting-off-Making-Your-Will-Summer-Special-Offer-for-Mumsnetters?pg=1&order=

[BetteDavis01]

Think you sleeping dragon but I think we will use a local firm who come recommended.

Is there anything else I need to consider? I can't think beyond what I've discussed above, oh I also need to specify if I want burial / cremation?

[mumblechum1]

thanks for mentioning Marlow Wills sleepingdragon

OP I appreciate that you wish to use a local firm. The things I normally ask my clients, if it helps, are:

1. Obvious stuff like full names, addresses and dates of birth
   

1. They'll need to check your ID so take either a driving licence or passport plus proof of address.
   

1. They'll suggest that you appoint one another as executor in the first instance with 2 backups, so it helps if you've already decided who the backup executors will be and have their full names and addresses handy. The executors usually also act as trustees in case any beneficiary is under age so the money is held in a trust.
   

1. They'll need the full name and address of at least one guardian who would care for your children, or make necessary arrangements for care elsewhere, in the very unlikely event that you both died before the youngest is 18. As you are struggling with this decision I suggest that you appoint several people who would decide between them about who would be best placed to care for the children, depending on their age/educational stage/geographical location/strongest ties. Not many people do have a perfect guardian waiting in the wings so it's better to appoint several "good enough" people in that case.
   

1. If you're bothered about leaving specific personal possessions or gifts of cash, you can put those in your wills. You may also want to specify funeral arrangements, although lots of people don't bother, but leave a letter of wishes with their copy of the will.
   

1. I presume that you just want to give everything to each other with no strings attached, but some clients, particularly blended families, need to make more complex trusts to ensure that the children of the first marriage aren't cut out by the step parent.
   

I hope that's helpful. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me

[BetteDavis01]

Thank you mumblechum, really detailed and useful advice

[mumblechum1]

No worries