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Legal matters

Urgent advice please regarding childs safety and welfare.

13 replies

Adoptakid · 29/09/2015 18:38

PLEASE don't tell me to go through social services as theyve been completely and utterly useless.

can it be done via the police or the post adoption panel? (theyre not very helpful either btw).

my childs adopted by me. DCs birth parents have a court injunction (DC was abused in every way and taken into care). so far they havent broken the court order.

However, DCs blood grandparent, who i always agreed to maintain WRITTEN( letters) contact is harrassing us.

There are 3 ways of post adoption contact: face to face, phone or letters.

DC is scared of grandparent, Ive kept in touch as granparent always been supportive and understanding and has usually been quite nice.

But theyve been in the past year or so trying to phone (ive had to change my number) to speak to DC but because DCs ggot a sharp memory doesnt want to speak or have contact with anyone from DCS past. (DCs a teen now, was adopted at 4 years old).

grandparents never done anything bad to DC but grandparents partner (not relatae d ina nay way to DC) is a very aggressive loud scary (scares ME, never mind DC) person who petrifies DC and also grandparent keeps saying theyre going to take DC away from me, which has freaked DC out no end. DC and I are very very close and IM the parent, Im the mother.

so DC doesnt want any contact at all with grandparent. Ive kept it up out of the goodness of my heart.

ive repeatedly stated contact via post ONLY yet grandparent KEEPS blatantly ignoring me. they live abroad and every time they come to the UK keep trying to meet with DC and Ive never siad DC doesnt want anything to do with them as I dont want to hurt their feelings, and just make excuses about DC not being well (not a lie, DCS disabled for life because of the abuse).

last week they came round our place! luckily we were upstairs and i saw out of the window they were looking in the downstairs window andd knocking on door.

I have notices on door saying 'no unvinvited, visits by appointment ONLY, etc etc, no cold callers and the like. NO EXCEPTIONS. not even if the queen came round! they took no notice of it.

The reason Ive got sign on door is because DC freaks out with starngers or unexpected visitors.

plus, by actually turning up at our place theyre tresspassing, harrassing and stalking. the rules stste they are NOT to do this, post only.

DC was in bedroom and luckily didnt see them, had DC been downstairs and theyve looked through window and DC was to see them, DC would have literally had a heart attack!

I didnt call police as i didnt want a scene in our quiet road, plus a stand off that DC would have heard and witnessed, so disrtessing DC even more.

its the blatant ignoring, selfish for not thinking of DCS welfare, not taking ME seriously, and as they live in small community theyll be spreading round slander and defamation of character.

so i need (all for DCS sake) to slap a non-molestation/non-harrassment/court order on them.

Im a full time carer for DC so Im on benefits and cant afford a lawyer, nor court visits or anything like that.

Is there a way the police can place an order on them or do i need to go somewhere for legal aid for a lawyer?

I dont have time for all that as DC requires 24/7 care and i have no help with DC.

thank you, if anyone can advise, sorry this is long. its very upsetting.
btw CAB are also useless where I live.

have to log off, dont have a lot of credit (dongle) on internet but ill read wheni can, hopefully with some replies.

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scarymaryisveryhairy · 29/09/2015 18:42

Tell the police, you will need an address for the grandparent, because once the police investigate and find the grandparent guilty (as I am sure they will) of harassing you they will serve a harassment warning on them, meaning if they contact you again they will be arrested

Dial 101 now and file a complaint against the grandparent

That is free so get that done in the first instance

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/09/2015 18:42

Harassment is a criminal offence - only police can deal with this. Good luck

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Adoptakid · 29/09/2015 18:48

Wow! that was quick, the replies, thank you.

they do live abroad though but come frequently to the UK. so can the police in this country still send an order to themm or do they need to contact the police abroad?

they live in a British sovereign run place.

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Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 29/09/2015 18:55

Where do they stay? Do they have family still here? Im sure 101 can advise better.

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scarymaryisveryhairy · 30/09/2015 09:39

You'll need the address of where they stay in the UK, as the police will need to know where to find them to serve the harassment warning

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AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 30/09/2015 09:57

Definitely ring police and report. Immediately, so they can serve a harassment order while they're still in the area.

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ArcheryAnnie · 30/09/2015 10:06

You might try calling the NSPCC for advice, if you are getting no institutional support from social services: 0808 800 5000

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Adoptakid · 01/10/2015 16:59

Thank you all.
I called police and they came round and took a ststement (they could see DC freaked out for themselves). But they said as grandparent lives abroad they have no address here in UK so mcant serve an injunction. they said it has to be done through adoption agency who are faffing about and not helping.
I also called NSPCC who fobbed me off saying as DC not being ''physically'' abused they cant do anything FFS. abuse goes beyond physical, what about mental? bloody swizz.
police said they'll file a 'MErlin' report whatever that is and that if gransparent was to show up again to dial 999 to remove them off the premises- yes, just what my child needs to hear and witness, eh?

FFS whats wrong with this bloody country justice system?

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JessicaFletchersEyes · 02/10/2015 04:34

This grandparent hasn't been told at any point that the birth GDC doesn't want contact (because you didn't want to hurt her feelings)?

Don 't you think that me worth a try before an injunction? An injunction will most definitely hurt her feelings.

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JessicaFletchersEyes · 02/10/2015 04:34

might be worth a try

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Grazia1984 · 02/10/2015 06:55

Why note type them a letter with a copy of the court order saying contact must be by letter only and that anyway even the teenager does not want any contact. The teenager could write them a little note too saying she is not up to contact due to the problems of the past but may be when she's grown up she might or something like that?

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Adoptakid · 03/10/2015 16:48

Jessica good point.

grazia court order is about the birth parents not the grandparents.

and DC has learning difficulties and cant write very well, not enough to write even a note.so its only my word and probably be accused of making it up as DC cant write, and theres no way theres verbal contact any more.

contact agreement was verbal, I thought it was written (have been looking through all my papers, and the adoption agency have got back to me yet again not helping.

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DeriArms · 11/10/2015 14:05

Maybe try contacting the organisation After Adoption for advice?

www.afteradoption.org.uk/our-services/support-adoptive-families/information-and-advice

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