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occuaption order & request for primary care by abusive ex partner

(4 Posts)
kelly31275 Wed 24-Jun-15 21:54:46

Just posting this message here too....I need help please!! To try and cut a very long story short I ended my 10 year relationship with the father of my 6 year old twin daughters in January. This was due to verbal and physical abuse that I had suffered. This was reported to the police but I didn't press charges for various reasons. Over the months we have continued to cohabit although on numerous occasions he said he would leave. We came to an agreement that the family home would be sold and he would give me a lump sum on trust to buy a house for the girls and myself. I was sitting waiting for this money to come so we could move on.
However last Tuesday there was an altercation in which he raised his fist to punch me in front of the children, although didn't actually hit me.
I called the police to report his threatening behaviour.
As a result of me calling the police he has instructed a solicitor and issued me with an occupation order to get me out of the property and requesting himself to be primary carer of the children.
I have always been primary carer and it would be extremely distressing for them if all of a sudden I wasn't there. Up until he lost his job recently he was never around, however is not looking for another job currently to put himself in a position to care for the children.
He is saying I've got family nearby I can go and stay with, which is true, but in no way on earth do I believe it is in the children's best interest for me to leave them with their dad who although loves them, has no idea as to how to look after them day to day and I have my concerns about his anger issues and mental well being considering losing his job, relationship breakdown, health issues etc.
he doesn't necessarily have people on the doorstep he can stay with but does have people living about an hour away and also has money in the bank to rent in the interim.
I am petrified that if I am asked to leave the children will be devastated.
I am seeing my solicitor on Friday.
he is the legal owner of the property but I have beneficial interest.
Anyone give me any words of advice or help.
what could be a good reason for me not to go and stay with family??
Thank you

maccie Sat 27-Jun-15 10:12:05

I'm Not a legal person at all but couldn't you also apply for an occupation order as you are being threatened with violence and had to involve the police.

You would seem to have the stronger position to as the long term primary carer and also as you do not have the financial means to rent but he does.
I would say the reason you are not staying with your family is because they cannot accommodate all 3 of you. And you will not contemplate leaving your daughters.

clam Sat 27-Jun-15 10:22:11

Again, not a legal person, but you do not have to have a "reason" not to go and stay with family. You're staying in the family home to care for your children, end of debate.

LotusLight Sat 27-Jun-15 12:16:43

I am sure you know that it makes a massive difference you are not married to him nor on the deeds of the property and if you were married that would not matter. I presume you are not married?

When you say beneficial interest is there a written document setting out a percentage of the house that you own beneficially?

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