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Spousal maintenance

(7 Posts)
Iloverupertp Thu 11-Jun-15 16:19:25

Just heading towards end of divorce and close to settlement but spousal maintenance is delaying things.
My solicitor is pushing joint life order and says if it went to court that's what I would get.
I'm struggling with the idea of joint life and would prefer a term order.what are people's views/personal experience?
I do work part time but there is a huge disparity in our salaries
We have 3 children under the age of 12 and they live with me 5 nights and most of school holidays.

AmyElliotDunne Thu 11-Jun-15 16:31:47

I got 3 years of SM, which has just finished this month, but also had the house transferred over to me and he gets to keep his pensions.

The alternative was that if he wanted to keep any interest in the house I would have insisted on some extra spousal maintenance on top of child maintenance, at least until they were all 18.

As it stands, with part time working, child benefit, child maintenance and tax credits (although that's another thread altogether!) I'm better off now than I was married to a skin flint!

AmyElliotDunne Thu 11-Jun-15 16:32:58

btw I was able to justify keeping the house as the only equity was put in from my parents' inheritance, so in my mind, it was money intended for my future, not a joint asset.

Iloverupertp Thu 11-Jun-15 17:08:06

Thanks for replying
We are selling the family home and splitting equity in my favour
Pension is split in his favour.
He's offered 15 years sm but as I said solicitor pushing for life
It just doesn't feel right but after a year of going through divorce I just want it settled now as emotially exhausted
I have friends that think it's taking the piss sm.
But like you I will be much better off for a few years but will have a mortgage that needs to be paid off within 12 years by which time all benefits will have stopped
If I ignore my solicitors advice I have to sign a declaration stating I ignored them.
I really don't know what to do
Any help advice would be appreciated

cannotseeanend Thu 11-Jun-15 17:35:23

Most wives get no spousal maintenance. I earned plenty less. I got nothing. I think you've answered your own question. Your solicitor is being greedy and putting you through more emotional stuff than you need.

Collaborate Fri 12-Jun-15 09:20:00

What legal qualifications do your friends have to judge the advice you're being given?

Look at this article. It's not cut and dried.

www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed129295

AmyElliotDunne Fri 12-Jun-15 14:05:16

TBH, at first I thought 'he owes me, I've been a SAHM following him round the country to enable his successful career' etc. but now I quite like the feeling that I don't feel beholden to him, he just pays what he's supposed to for the DCs and the rest of my money is mine.

He can't have any say in how I spend it or make snarky comments about me going on holiday etc, as it's none of his business. I feel proud to be able to support my DCs with the bare minimum of help from him (both financial and practical) so if you DO have a way to earn a bit more money and make your own way I would encourage you to do it.

Relying on someone you're no longer in a relationship with to subsidise you is a bit disheartening. The sooner you can cut all but the necessary ties with him and start to make your own way, the better in my book. If he has a lot more money than you then you have to hope he will see fit to treat the DCs when he has them, but if he doesn't they will soon notice and that will affect their relationship with him.

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