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My mum has residence order and won't let me see my son.

(4 Posts)
kems1994 Wed 27-May-15 20:00:24

I don't quite know what else to do..

Long story short, when my son was born I suffered seriously bad depression, I was living on my own just me and him no family or support, I struggled emotionally. I asked my mum to help me as any person would... she took him in, ss didn't like this arrangement and did want him with me, they could see through her cunningness and only now have I realised. She brainwashed me made me believe I had bipolar I was assessed numerous times and nothing but depression was diagnosed, she wouldn't let me do any parenting assessments made me believe ss and my own solicitor were tricking me so I never saw him again. I wasnt in the right frame of mind she had me right were she wanted me.. she applied for gaurdian ship that would take my pr away and she would have full pr till he was 18. The court declined this immediately and said they wanted him back with me when I was well enough to provide thr right stability for him, so she applied for residency, I instead none of these orders I understood I was a mess and she was brain washing me the whole time telling me she would help me get better again etc.
The residence order was granted and all legal involvement was gone, the arrangment was she would have to provide me 16 hours minimum a week 'suppervised' contact this was to be supervised as she wouldn't let me do my parenting assessment. Again I did not realise until now.
As soon as this order was made within a week she had stopped me seeing him, refused to have me in her house of course I retaliated she just blocked me on Facebook, changed her number and even tried to move house, after 6-7 months of trying to be in his life I gave in and left her alone had tried mediation she refused. Then she decided to let me see him 1 hour a month in a play area, this continued for 3 months before she started to let me down again I argued and she blocked me again, I had no way of getting in contact.

3-4 month went by no contact and finally she agreed again, same situation as last 1 hour a month. I am now expecting a child and she refuses to tell him. I have a good support network this time and a family as have moved to same town as my dad, my partner and his family are very very supportive and there is no concerns I will not be able to cope with this child and my son too. Its been nearly 2 years and I am in the right frame of mind, me and my partner have a lovely home to move into we both work and I am physically and emotionally very well bar the fact I dont have my precious baby boy in my life. Circumstances are so so so different to how my lifestyle and my wellbeing was 2 years ago.

But I am at my witts end and have tried every possible route and don't know what to do......
Please help me!!!!

RunAwayKey Wed 27-May-15 21:49:58

Apply to mediation, they can then sign a c100 form (Google it) for you to send to court, with the c100 form you can apply for a change in residence, or for contact depending on what you want.

If she then doesn't follow the court order you can take her back to court and they will enforce it with a fine, change of residence or prison sentence after a warning.

maccie Thu 28-May-15 13:31:38

You could maybe see if SS can help you. Could you still complete the parenting assessments now ? Maybe without your mothers knowledge.

If you could get them inside they could help you return to court and have residency returned to you.

ElsieMc Thu 28-May-15 20:14:28

I am a grandparent carer myself and hold an RO for both my grandsons. My circumstances are different in that I did not want this for them but the alternative was the care system. My DD's situation was more extreme than yours and I am very sorry for you. I can assure you that most grandparents in my situation do not wish to deprive the children of a relationship with their own mother, or how can they be fit to bring up the children in a caring environment.

You need to get a solicitor's letter sent to your mother formally seeking to re-establish contact and certainly not for one hour here and there in a play area. Your son needs you and needs to know that you want him too.

You then have to up the ante and apply to the courts without delay. She is establishing a status quo regarding residence and the courts can be reluctant to change settled circumstances for the child as their interests are paramount.

I do hope she can understand that you both need to see one another with a view to him returning to live with you. I think she is perhaps afraid of losing control and losing her grandson who I am afraid she sees as her property.

She may need reassurance that you can deal with the new baby and your son, as will SS also. I am pleased you have support this time around.

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