Brother and probate and him being horrible

[Blushingm]

My mum died back in September. My sister and I haven't had much today with my mum for a long while - she was an alcoholic and would say and do awful things - my brother being the youngest growing up was protected from a lot of it. When we were both at school the school accepted notes etc from me as they were aware of the situation at home. I used to do all shopping cleaning cooking etc as my mum was either too drunk or away getting drunk somewhere else.
Anyway she told my brother she had made a will and left all her things to him..........this was another lie. She made no will - we checked the whole house, with all solicitors in town everywhere and no will. She had brain damage from the alcohol - told me she worked for mi6 so made a lot of things up

So probate was applied for and granted to my dad (my mums ex) but my brother still thinks he should have everything. He has already pocketed her entire pension. He's started sending me horrible messages etc as I've said I'm not willing to let him have the house but he keeps on and on and on about I've no right to anything as he did everything for her etc. I've blocked him so he can't message me and I'm considering getting a solicitor to deal with it all for me but I don't know if I can afford it and I know my dad feels stuck in the middle and he will be hurt. Has anyone any advice about what I should do????

[titchy]

Get a solicitor. You won't have to pay upfront. Costs will be met from the estate.

[Blushingm]

My costs will?

Because I'm at the point at the moment that I just can't cope with contact with him

[Blushingm]

Also - he was the named beneficiary on her pension (you can only have one) and he kept the entire thing - did not as I would have expected split it 3 ways equally. I always assumed 3 children - 3 ways. I used to have a paper that said even though his was person named it should got 3 ways, but I can't find it anywhere

[straighttothepoint]

If he was named beneficiary for the pension then he can have that money, but not until probate has been granted. What is your dad's view of all this? Why don't you get a solicitor to sort this out?

He doesn't seem like the person who will offer to split his money.

[Jux]

Get a solicitor, they are worth their weight in gold in these sort of situations. They will take all the emotion out of it and do everything fairly and squarely. There are all sorts of things you need to do (your dad needs to do) like put an advert in a local paper asking for debtors and creditors etc.

So, get your dad to get a solicitor and hand the whole thing over to them.

[Blushingm]

My dad has had probate granted already - sorry if my perv post was a little garbled.

I think the only way is a solicitor isn't it?

[Blushingm]

Prev not perv, auto correct sorry

[Jux]

Yes; ime, getting probate isn't that hard, but ensuring things are divided properly or that Wills are properly followed can be a minefield, especially if beneficiaries get difficult. Keep your arse covered.

[mynewpassion]

If he was the beneficiary of the pension, then he's not under any obligation to split three ways. It would have been nice and fair.

Hire a solicitor who can be impartial to handle the sale of the house and other stuff and then split it 3 ways.

[ElsieMc]

I had huge difficulties with my brother when my dm died, but he could not take everything because she made a Will appointing us executors together with the solicitor.

He was difficult over the house, wanting an inflated price when her home was in the north of the country and he lived near London. In the end I insisted the price was dropped and it was sold before we had to cover community tax and interest on care home fees. It went on with the Estate Agent on Friday and was sold to a cash buyer on the Tuesday.

The point is sometimes you have to be firm. When someone dies intestate, the estate is split between immediate family although I don't think your dad can benefit if they were divorced.

I would get a solicitor but if he is not dealing with the estate - you say probate or Letters of administration have been granted - I am also not sure whether you could reclaim your legal costs from the estate.

I hope someone comes along to clarify these issues for you but I would still recommend you get legal advice on this issue because you legally stand to benefit from your mother's estate and there can be no argument about that. You just need to ensure proper distribution of her assets.

[Blushingm]

Thank you - I appreciate all your thoughts and advice. I will see about seeing a solicitor this week

[poshfrock]

I am a probate lawyer.

Generally speaking pensions are dealt with outside the estate where a specific nomination has been made which seems to be the case here. So your brother is entitled to the whole pension fund. The rest of the estate (house, cash etc) will follow the laws of intestacy and so be split three ways. I am surprised that your father has been given a grant if he was divorced from your mum, normally it would be one of the children in this situation.
Your dad needs to tread very carefully and ensure that he pays creditors, deals with legal notices etc before distributing the estate etc. It really ought to be he who engages a solicitor to deal with the estate.