Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Overnight access: would he likely get this?

(9 Posts)
justjuanmorebeer Mon 11-Aug-14 13:13:45

dp left one month ago. He has been emotionally and financially abusive to me in the past so I know this is for the best.

We have one DD, age 3.

He wants 3 nights a week regular ongoing forever. I have said this is too much and we currently have an arrangement of one midweek night, every friday and then every other saturday to result in an EOW scenario. He returns her Sunday on the weekends he has her on the Sat night.

I think this is pretty generous already and it would def not be in her interests to add an extra night OR have a floating night so every week would be different.

He works full time (good job) and has to travel for work sometimes but rarely overnight but can be back late.

He is currently living with parents and doesnt even have his own room! Pretty pathetic really.

He says that any court would let him have 50/50. Is this true? I don't really see how he could do that anyway but think he might want that so he doesnt have to pay me.

Just reading those details do you think he has a good chance?

I have always been the main carer and I work part time term time only.

justjuanmorebeer Mon 11-Aug-14 13:14:42

So currrently 2.5 nights and I am ok for this to continue if he is reliable. He is pushing for more.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 11-Aug-14 13:17:44

There are so many different factors that come into play that it is impossible for someone to guess. Getting your own legal advice is vital.

justjuanmorebeer Mon 11-Aug-14 13:23:17

Am just waiting for a call back to make an appointment for ASAP.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 11-Aug-14 13:27:13

Why is three nights per week too much?

justjuanmorebeer Mon 11-Aug-14 13:45:03

IMO because he has nowhere proper to live, he is not on time for anything ever so I do not trust him to get her to preschool (or next year actual school) on time in the mornings, he does not get her to bed at a reasonable hour so is always tired and struggles with the days after he has had her. There are also issues with his family who he is living with.

If say the week had 8 days so there was another one that didn't mean a weekday the next morning then I don't think it would be as much of an issue.

A big problem I have with it is that he wants the nights to be 'floating' and change. I do not understand how this is good for her.

justjuanmorebeer Mon 11-Aug-14 13:46:58

Additionally he rarely finishes work before 7. Struggle to see how he'd work it and he has yet so suggest a solution either.

Greengrow Mon 11-Aug-14 17:42:34

He is not going to get it. In fact if you denied all contact and ignored court orders even then it is rare they would jail you although I don't recommend that.

Mind you I rarely finish work before 7 and have/had the children 365 nights a year (not my choice, their father's choice) - loads of resident parents work full time and hire nurseries, nannies, child minders or use relatives.

justjuanmorebeer Tue 12-Aug-14 11:02:38

I have made a lawyer appt to chat things through

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now