help concerns about my son and stepdaughter

[andy1978uk]

Currently my son and stepdaughter are residing with me due to mum having a 'breakdown'. Ill say breakdown in the loosest of terms as I believe her problems are more deep rooted. They have been living with me for nearly 4 months now but in reality at least 8 months at least one child has been residing with me at any one time. Mum in the mean time has had a new partner and their relationship has fallen apart. She has had various lodgers some with and some without a child staying. Her children have stayed over less than 10 times since april. Mum may have bipolar but is apparently waiting on a psychiatric referral however I am unsure as to whether she has had said referral and not bothered with it as this was supposed to been referred 2 or 3 months ago. I have tried to get social services involved as I have concerns if/when they go to live with her but as were still married here is not an awful lot they can do apart from suggest from me to go for residency and a prohibitve steps order to peevent her from taking the children. Mums state of mind at the moment would not be great and she has mentioned about moving away then the next minute asked about moving back in with me which I said no to as I do not believe she is able enough to look after the children for the 10 hours I am out working. I have serious concerns about her stability at the moment a friend of hers has expressed concerns that she is scared she might find her dead. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment and have no idea what to do for the best for all parties. Social services have said I need to put the children first but if I file for residency thrn this may tip her further over the edge. Help me please

[EmptyNestAgain]

Go and see a family lawyer.
I'm sorry for your problems and hers, but the children should come first, not their mum. How old are they?

[Trollsworth]

Take the social services advice. You cannot save her, and the children need you to put them first. If you are happy to have yr step daughter continue living with you, that's good, but you definitely need to get a residence order for them both. If you don't want your step daughter to live with you, she has to go to foster care or another family member - I'm assuming she has no relationship with her father as she is with you already and not him.

Either or, you cannot fix their mother. You can only care for the children.

[andy1978uk]

My sons 2 and my stepdaughter is 4. Her dad is not involved at all and ive been raising her as my own and dint treat her anu differently to my son. A brief update I had a call at teatime last night she now wants the kids to move back in with her in a weeks time. My sick note is due to expire then and with her changing her mind all the time I am going to go see a family lawyer and go for residency of both. I have to put the kids first and ill guarantee if they moved back in with her they will be back with me in a week or two as she cannot manage on her own or she will be ringing me every night to help her with the kids etc when ive been managing all this by myself for months now