I don't really know why I'm putting this on here but I feel pretty fed up with it all and I'm pregnant with my second child, due in 7 weeks. I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation. I know most who come on here about the CSA are unhappy women trying to get maintenance from absent dads but I'm coming from it from the other angle.<br>My husband and I have a toddler and one on the way and are very happy. My husband has been married before, he was very young and the marriage lasted only weeks . They got married because they had two children also very young and I think were sort of pushed into getting married for the two kids. It all ended as both were too young and she had an affair and left my husband and moved the two young kids on with her new man and it was all over. My husband was unhappy because of the kids although was happy to be out of the marriage. Sorry to go on but just thought it might help to give a bit of background. My husband continued to see the children regularly and paid maintenance directly to his ex wife through a private agreement that they had together. His ex wife isn't a very nice person, nor is her now husband. They threw all his things out of his house ( it was both of theirs before they split) and countless nasty things were done to my husband after they split. <br>Rewind a few years and me and my husband got together and we both saw his two children regularly and we had a good relationship with them. We were getting married in July 2011 and the wedding was in the Lake District ( so a bit of a trek) and there were many trips up there on a weekend when we would usually have seen his kids, the wedding itself was end of July and we had a honeymoon booked for August. With all this going on, we didn't seen husbands kids for July or August, simply because we had a lot going on and we explained this to his ex wife ( even though their relationship had never been a good one) and my husband contacted her in September to say he wanted us to see the kids one particular weekend, to which his ex wife turned nasty and refused and hung up on him. Days later we had a letter from a solicitor about my husbands 'sporadic' contact and saying that he needed to be more committed to contact and in inviting him to put forward what he wanted to do. We didn't get a solicitor as felt there was no need but responded to the solicitor explaining why he hadn't seen them for a bit and that he fully intended to resume regular contact. I was at this point expecting our first child and whilst we never wanted to push his two kids out, my husband had always been at the beck and call if his ex wife re contact etc so we put forward our thoughts on contact and suggested not every weekend anymore but every other weekend and also that they could stay over for a few days during all school holidays. We got a couple more solicitors letters but it was very confusing because it seemed from the first letter that she was unhappy that he hadn't seen them for a little while, yet as soon as he suggested that he wanted to see them and that he was keen to arrange it, the letters that followed from fee solicitor then seemed to suggest she didn't actually want him to see the children at all. We got one letter saying she wouldn't allow then to stay over and she would he shortening the hours that they got together and then another letter followed to say that they were moving away (her, the kids vas her partner) and that it would be too far for him to see them. She wouldn't however say where they were going to. The next thing that followed was an out of the blue letter from the CSA demanding maintenance which was strange as they already had an agreement in place and had never gone through the CSA before. This obviously got our backs up as the CSA are not a nice organisation to deal with. My husband was at that time unemployed so actually she list out as when the CSA looked at it they confirmed he didn't need to pay anything so we stopped paying the private agreement. Before getting the CSA involved my husband always paid her even though he was unemployed but we decided if she was going to play mean that we would stop. It's now been 3 years since we saw the kids and the relationship between my husband and his ex is very hostile. We have tried to sort out contact by writing to her solicitor many times but on the end we stopped getting any response back at all. It might seem like my husband doesn't care about the kids but he does and he has tried as far as we can and it has got us nowhere but just caused a whole load of stress and upset as my husband has been fighting a losing battle. His ex wife clearly has a big problem as she hasnt agreed to any contact so she clearly doesn't want him to see the kids and instead rings the CSA every few months just go get us harassed and they are an awful organisation. Why should he pay when he's not allowed to see them?<br>A month or two before Xmas last year re received a letter from another solicitor saying that his ex wanted his permission to change the surname of the kids to her new married name and it also said that the children now refused to go by their dads surname ( obviously been poisoned by their mother ). The letter also said that his ex was having a parental agreement put in place for her husband to have equal parental rights as her and we didn't get sent a copy of the agreement but my husband was told he had to go to court to sign something giving his agreement to all of this. My husband responded giving written agreement to the name change and any parental agreement but he said that in exchange he wanted her to close the case with the CSA and stop chasing for money as we have a child and one on the way and it isn't fair. The solicitor wrote back and said his ex didn't want any maintenance or anything from him so we played ball and agreed to everything she wanted. So in December the name changes and parental agreement all went ahead. Yet we ate still getting chased by the CSA who won't leave us alone and we have disputed the case even providing her letter from her solicitor but the CSA don't care ever about the fathers or their new families and yesterday they told us that we have arrears to start paying this week and new regular payments which we are not happy about as she has gone back on her word and we don't feel we should pay for kids he is not allowed to see. We have no choice but to start paying but have got hold of her address vas my husband has today written her a letter to suggest that her husband adopts the kids as his as we feel this is in the best interests of all concerned but we think she probably don't do this as for some odd reason she likes to have a hold over him. We just want to get on with our lives instead of being constantly harasses by his ex or the CSA. It is sad about the kids and they are probably confused but their mother is a nasty piece of work. Has anyone been in a similar situation?