Go for residence?

[Cactusjill]

Need advice for a friend. He will also be seeing a solicitor.

So current situation, friend has 2 dd's aged 5. Break up was over a yr ago, from the beginning both were equally involved in parenting. Since break up it began well but has no resulted in friend having his DD's full time with mum having supervised access as often as she requests. This is currently a couple of hours a week. Supervision is supported by both families as mum has been unreliable. Not turning up to collect, un-contactable for days. Drugs and alcohol are believed to be involved.

Friend is concerned as he is 'just dad' that she could turn up and take them and he wouldn't have support to get them back. He isn't sure how to proceed. Does he need a residence order in this situation?

[cestlavielife]

has he a good record? is there medical evidence of the drugs/alcohol etc? has SS been involved? are school aware? i.e. is there evidence to support what he says about the situation?

he should speak to a solicitor. if there is evidence and there is concern that she might be risk to the DC he could see about applying for an order to formalise the situation.
if he on birth cert he has PR .

[Cactusjill]

Don't think he has any evidence of a good record? No evidence of drugs that we are sure of, police have been called to her property on a number of occasions thankfully when girls not there, parties getting out of hand etc. so far he hasn't involved anyone, school are only aware in that she did pick ups 3 days a week and hasn't been seen there for weeks. He has been considering speaking to SS but wasn't sure it would be useful? They'd be interested?

[nomoretether]

Residence orders will cease to be issued on 21st April. They will now be Child Arrangement Orders. He would have to show that it was in the children's interest to make an order. It would be worth getting a free half hour with a solicitor to talk through the necessity of having a CAO/the potential consequences of not having one (if any).

Has the mother threatened to take the children or is this a hypothetical situation he's concerned about?

[Cactusjill]

Hypothetical, she is currently showing very little interest. He is so scared that she could just up and take them, it hasn't been threatened. She is still claiming all benefits for them and he isn't challenging if as doesn't want to rock the boat.

[prh47bridge]

If there is no dispute about where the children live it is unlikely he will be able to get a court order. If she does take the children he should be able to get an emergency order to get them returned.

[cestlavielife]

Sorry I meant. Good record ie log of when she has seen the dc, which days, who supervised, any days offered when she has not turned up etc etc

He needs to have some official record eg medical report evidence of her behaviour etc that back up the concerns if he is going to take it to court . Or if there is an incident whereby she takes the dc and there is concern for their welfare. So he should at the least tell a solicitor, tell the school and talk to the health visitor. If her family are aware of her issues they need to be on side too.

It maybe the mother needs help of some kind. She won't get it if everyone is covering for her.

[cestlavielife]

Avid he should be prepared to rock the boat and establish that he is main career if that is the case.
He should claim the child benefit if she isn't around... If she reacts badly get gp on board , get it all recorded.

[cestlavielife]

Main carer sorry

[Nappaholic]

Sound like just the sort of case a child arrangements order would benefit - no power struggles to be the "winner" just an order confirming the children have their primary home with one parent and spend (supervised) time with the other....don't leave it in limbo, is my only advice...

[3xcookedchips]

Child arrangement order defines who the child lives with = residence,

If the child's welfare is being put at risk by the mum's actions then let the mum make the application.

In.the mean time keep an up to date record of mum's interactions with the kids.

[nomoretether]

I don't think many people are fooled by the change in the name of the order if it works in exactly the same way.

If Dad won't rock the boat by asking for benefits that are his, what does he think applying for a CAO will do? In any case, they would have to go to mediation now anyway and what he's asking for (to have the children live with him, and for Mum to have supervised contact) isn't in dispute.