terrified

[Kimmy72]

Hi I am after some advice guidance. I live in the midlands with my preschool son. My relationship has been on the rocks (trust issues / deception on exs part ) and my partner and I decided to call it quits. I have no support network or friends here . We agreed verbally I would move with my son back to support of family friends in scotland. Contact although wont be easy has never been an issue. I have never denied ex any form of contact and made it clear I am willing to travel / extended periods inschool holidays when son reaches school age. We gave up nursery space at end of last term and organised some belongings to ne moved . We agreed we would move at the begi ning of April to enable son to start a fresh nursery after the holidays. Now reality has hit my ex and guided by his father he feels mediation must take place first. My con erns are although I have never and will never threaten loss of contact and made it clear I am willing to help facilitate contact that this process will now delay our fresh start. We are already in limbo as half our belongings belonging gone. No nursery etc. I do not feel delaying the move any further will benefit anyone least of all my son. I am terrified of breaking the law or having to face a court and feel controlled and somewhat threatned by this mediation process. I plan to keep the move to early april as per initial agreement but scared what ex could do.

[cestlavielife]

what are you actually scared of ? what might ex do specifically?

[Nennypops]

I can't see that he could stop your move. Mediation can carry on when you have moved.

[FrogbyAnotherName]

Mediation is designed to be a conciliatory, voluntary process - unlike court which is adversarial.

What is it that makes you feel threatened by your ex's request for mediation? If you are both in agreement and amicable, a single joint appointment may be enough to draw up a parenting plan. You'll each be invited to a MIAM (mediation initial assessment meeting) on your own, which provides the mediator with the background from your pov, and then at a different time you'll meet the mediator together to discuss how you will co parent moving forward. If there are major disagreements, it might take a few appointments to come to an agreement, but as you say you both see this as right for your DS, then it shouldn't be a long process.