Hello, hoping someone can offer some advice? Have NC for this...
I currently have shared residency of my children with their dad. They are 5 and 8. We have a Court Order to this affect, which we both agreed to at the time (about a year or so ago). He has them 4 days at a time, 4 days with him 4 days with me and so on.
Over that year there have been some problems:
-He has twice now not taken them to see a GP when they've been ill, didn't get medical treatment for eldest when he got badly sun burnt on holiday with him (I later took him) he didn't give youngest his prescribed medication properly ending up with him having to have another course of antibiotics. Didn't inform me when one of my children had been taken to hospital in the night with breathing problems and so on. These are all documented with the GP of course.
-Small (ish) school issues, he hardly ever does their homework, sends them to school without correct uniform, wearing trainers, no PE kits, no books, won't make them packed lunch and won't pay dinner money so the school have to chase him continuously for it afterwards, they've said they can't let the kids go hungry but it's unacceptable, constantly late for school and so on. He's been called into school & written to so many times by the head teacher, mainly for not co operating with homework and paying dinner money and being really late for school, but still no improvement. I have copies of these letters and warnings for lateness.
-The biggest thing is that he is now emotionally abusing the children and they are becoming very upset and unsettled due to this. He is constantly telling them lies about me and how I don't love them or want them, how he will take them away and how I take all his money, he calls me horrible disgusting names to them and in front of them and they repeat it here to me. He has a bad temper and screams and shouts at them, they said to me yesterday he calls them swear words and that they are "stupid and crap". The kids are coming here and crying about it, especially at bedtime and I have to do something about it. Eldest has started wetting the bed too, although I can't prove it is this that has caused it.
I understand if I apply back to Court and try and change the Residency Order and he objects (he will) it becomes a contested case and then CAFCASS will become involved and do a Sections 7 report (if I am correct).
My question is - What does this involve? Will they speak to the school, GP, and the kids? If I am making specific claims such as above will CAFCASS ask the school / GP to confirm these allegations are true or will they just ask a list of generic questions which might not cover/clarify the points I am making? I know that CAFCASS don't usually do "wishes and feelings" reports for children under 7 ish but if I am claiming emotional abuse will they speak to the children?
I realise the above can all be considered "low level" abuse by some and many of my points will be standard lies told by mothers to try and limit contact with the father. I don't want that to be thought of me, it's all true and it's upsetting my children so much. If CAFCASS speak to my kids they will see that this is true and hopefully I can change the Residency Order. The kids aren't making it up, they tell me these things with such innocence and sadness in their faces, wanting me to tell them it's not true. Asking if I really don't love them and so on. I want them to have a relationship with their Dad but I feel they are much better off with me during school time and I hope avoiding blocks of many days with him will limit the affect his horrible nature has on them. So I want to suggest he has them EOW and more time in school holidays (although not in long periods). Do you think that is reasonable or will a Judge wonder why I am claiming all the above AND still wanting him to have contact?
Sorry for the ramblings, I'm very confused as what to do.
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CONTESTED RESIDENCY/CAFCASS SECTION 7 REPORT?
16 replies
monkeymadness1 · 03/03/2014 00:48
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