Grandparents rights?

[RalphLaurenLover]

So my 'mother' and I have a strained relationship. Today it all blew up she was suppose to see my son tomorrow 11-12 but wanted it moved to today as she was 'busy' for what turns out she isn't going to be.

I told her to leave my home as she was distressing my son and she wasn't worth the argument. She refused after 5 minutes she told me she was going to take me to court because she didn't want to see me any more only my son (I've been offering her contact as she NEVER asks to which she is always 10 minutes late at least)

She then told me she's going to call her friends in Mental Health and have them contact Social Services to get my son taken off of me and given to her (she works from 8-8, goes to the gym 4 times a week then to some married man's house where she stays)

She's said she's already got people to look into me at Social Services and they're things on my file and with her word I'll loose my son for sure.


How do I stop her from seeing my son she is Toxic and I'm not prepared to put up with her any more. If there were things on file with me with SS wouldn't I know about it? Had visitors etc? because I haven't had any.

Majourly pissed

[prh47bridge]

In the absence of a court order you don't have to let her see your son. I expect the rest is just bluster. If Social Services had any concerns they would have been to see you.

[rumbleinthrjungle]

Your mother's threat shows she doesn't have much understanding of how social services works, she's intending to scare you.

The first step of any social services involvement if they had enough concerns about phoned in reports, would be to visit you and your son at home, so you talk to them about your side of things and they see for themselves that home and both of you are safe and ok. A lot of involvements based on reports, particularly malicious reports, end right there. If you don't need their support and they can see your son doesn't need help they won't hang around, they're far too busy. Your son's nursery or school and your GP/HV would also be able to confirm if they have no concerns for him. Social services look for evidence of need, they don't act on say so, reports are just the trigger to go and check on a child.

If the reports are groundless, Social Services would see they were groundless, record that they are groundless, and they're then going to be aware that you have a family member who is making malicious reports for their own reasons. For your reassurance, for families with major needs and evidence of children at risk there are a whole lot more steps that Social Services would follow about support and improving the situation before getting near the point of considering removing children. And yes, if they'd received a report that concerned them, the first thing they would do is phone you, they won't act behind your back, so I think it's likely you're right that nothing has actually been logged with them.

As far as I'm aware regarding rights of contact from other discussions I've seen on MN, Grandparents don't have rights to contact, and if they want to go through the expensive process of applying for it then they have to make a case strong enough for a court to agree to look at it at all. The legal support for contact for Grandparents is where a child lived with the grandparent, or the grandparent played a very significant role in the child's life which has been ended by parents separating etc and would be detrimental to the child. The CHILD has rights - which may include being allowed to continue their relationship with a beloved grandparent even beyond a messy divorce. That doesn't sound much like your situation!

[RalphLaurenLover]

We used to live there a year and a half ago. She use to look after him when I went into hospital however he spent around 8-8 in the hospital with me,

She asked for contact and I declined telling her I won't be threatened with mental Heath teams or Social Services and a friend went round and picked my sons stuff up. Haven't heard from her since though

[LauraBridges]

The suggestion that if the threats are groundless social services will see them is groundless is a bit too trusting in SS always being 100% right which even social workers admit they are not. Perhaps try to calm things down with your motheri f you can.

[RalphLaurenLover]

Unfortunately Laura Things will never calm down

she likes to be in control and is very narcissistic

[happymummy00]

So sorry your going through this.

I currently have my parents taking me to court for access. They have never met my daughter and i havent spoken to them for about 5 years.

Although the law says grandparents have no rights for some reason when it seems to go to court they seemed to get listened to. Its scary to think access maybe granted!

Have you received anything from a solicitor/court yet?

[RalphLaurenLover]

I've received nothing as of yet however I've logged everything she's said to the Social Services, Health Visitor and the police (when she refused to leave) so when/if she attempts it's all logged.

[happymummy00]

Do u think she will go through with it?

I hope it doesnt come to that for you. Its such a stressful time for us at the moment. x

[RalphLaurenLover]

Honestly I don't know.

She's extremely spiteful and she knows I was hospitalised with stress numerous times for weeks on end when his father dragged my through court. which she now chucks back in my face because she HAD to look after my DS If she does the same then it shows who she really is