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absentee father ....... what are my next steps?

(17 Posts)
TheXxed Tue 29-Oct-13 22:43:50

I am new to mumsnet so I am unfamiliar with the terminology, I have a 9 month old son his father is no where to be seen, I start work abroad in sept 2014 abroad, I have savings to fund my rather long mat leave, but not enough to hire a solicitor his dad has made it clear that he has no intentions of playing a meaningful role in his sons life. I would like to know where I stand legally he is not on the birth certificate, his not paid any c a or even met him . Does he still have parental rights??? Would I be breaking any laws taking my baby outboc the country??? Any help would be appreciated...

MissMarplesBloomers Tue 29-Oct-13 22:46:49

If he is not named on the birth cert I'm pretty sure he cannot claim PR even if he wanted to.

If you keep a radio silence would he find out you are moving & kick up a fuss just to spite you?

Someone with more knowledge will be along shortly. Sounds like you are well rid of the charmer. grin

FlaseFuckerSpider Tue 29-Oct-13 22:50:04

If he is not interested in his Son do as you please. He has no PR as he is not on the birth certificate. He can apply for PR and get it quite easily from the court. It sounds like he is happy to be left alone. What a shame, his loss.

I would put in a claim for child support just before you leave though, as your child deserves at least the financial contribution from his Dad.

WeAreEternal Tue 29-Oct-13 22:50:24

If he is not on the birth certificate then he has no parental rights.
If he has never acknowledged your child as his then I find it highly unlikely he is going to make any objections to you taking your child anywhere,

But if he is not on the birth certificate and not named on your DCs passport then there really is no law to be broken as he is not legally your DCs parent.

Is there a chance he will try to stop you taking the DC abroad?

TheXxed Tue 29-Oct-13 22:50:50

Hello missmarples thanks for your reply he gets occasional spurts of a conscience and tries to the the right thing, but within a few days it amounts to nothing, this makes me think he would try to prevent us leaving

TheXxed Tue 29-Oct-13 22:53:50

Thanks ladies, knowing he has no pr makes me feel a lot more secure about the move. He is a twat and I doubt he would pay any c a thanks for your help

FlaseFuckerSpider Tue 29-Oct-13 22:55:11

Your ds deserves you to at least make a claim to the CSA on his behalf.

TheXxed Tue 29-Oct-13 22:59:54

I have thought long and hard about making a claim, I am worried about opening a can of worms. I am inclined to let sleeping dogs lie

FlaseFuckerSpider Tue 29-Oct-13 23:02:57

I would put the claim in a few days before you leave, then there will be no can of worms and all you can do is win for your DS, and save him some money or use it to make his life more comfortable.

TheXxed Tue 29-Oct-13 23:10:44

I am on the c.s.a website now, I have a free 30 min consultation with a family law solicitor on Thursday so we can discuss it further. I am retiscent because he may decide he wants contact and judging from past events he will be great for a few days then m.i.a for a few months and seeing him do that to my son would kill me

cestlavielife Wed 30-Oct-13 15:50:57

if he has shedloads of money go for it.
if it will be peanuts then dont.
of course, your ds later might want to know who dad is so keep tabs in case you need to know where he is later...

TheXxed Fri 01-Nov-13 07:02:23

Hello all,just thought I would update you. I spoke to a solicitor yesterday, although his dad has no parental rights I may have trouble leaving the country with my son as certain nations need notarised proof that I have permission of the father to leave the country or that I have sole custody. Not sure if that's true or if he wants me to cough of some cash for his services.

prh47bridge Fri 01-Nov-13 08:23:50

Just to correct MissMarplesBloomers, the fact he is not named on the birth certificate means he does not have parental responsibility (NOT parental rights) but it does not prevent him from getting PR. He can get PR either through agreement with you or by court order. If he applied for PR through the courts he would almost certainly get it. Whether or not he pays child maintenance is irrelevant.

As far as UK law is concerned you do not need his consent to take your son out of the country. However your solicitor is correct that some countries will not admit you and your son unless you can prove that you have the right to take your son out of the UK.

TheXxed Fri 01-Nov-13 08:27:16

Thank you bridge, wasn't sure if the solicitor was trying to coerce me into using his paid services but it looks like I may have to bite the bullet.

SleepyFish Fri 01-Nov-13 08:34:01

My sons father is also an absent one and I've taken him to other countries without any problems. Europe though so I'm not sure what rules other countries have. I had to put some info re his dad on his passport form but if I remember it was just his name. I just explained that I didn't know his whereabouts and that he was an absent parent (also not on birth certificate).
HTH

TheXxed Fri 01-Nov-13 09:07:18

When I filled in his passport application I put most of his dads info everything except his passport number. I am going to Qatar and in the process of filling in his visa my employers are supporting both are apps and have advised me to get clarification from the Ministry of interiors major dept.

TheXxed Fri 01-Nov-13 09:09:01

*ministry of interior labor dept

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