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some questions re finances in divorce

(6 Posts)
jenny99 Wed 28-Aug-13 21:11:14

Hi....any advice or help greatly appreciated please. (I posted in divorce/separation and someone suggested I post here too).

My husband is saying the following re our finances (matters are with solicitors, and we have exchanged form Es).

He says that I never wanted nor asked about a pension so why should I be entitled to half of his sizeable pension now. I have never mentioned or asked about it because I knew it was there, and I just trusted and left him to deal with it. He has always dealt with all our finances.

He says that I never worked despite his insistence that I do something. This is just untrue. In fact, on the contrary, I used to say that he worked such long hours, if he could work locally and take a pay cut, I would also work, so we could spend more time together, and as a family. His long working hours contributed to the marriage breakdown.

He seems to be contradicting himself, he said that my 4x4 is now too big for me, and he has a VW polo which is sufficient for him and our children, and I should change my car. I would actually like to change it for something smaller anyway, but on the form E he wrote that his car is too small for use as a family car and he will need to change this!

He says that when we got married (20 yrs ago), I brought nothing to the marriage, and just moved in to his fully furnished flat, and this should count for something.

He is a very high earner, and IF I were to receive around 50% of our assets and his income as maintenance I would be able to live comfortably.

I am planning on setting up as an alternative therapist at home, (I have been training for the last couple of years), and he is saying that I should be seeking part time work elsewhere as well whilst I build my income. My solicitor advises that there is sufficient money already, and that I do not need to do that as he can afford for me not to. It is very confusing?

She says that I am clearly entitled to half of everything following a long term marriage, and sufficient finances, yet understandably he is fighting on every point. I don't know if she is just trying to 'keep her client happy'?

Any advice greatly appreciated please. I am not meaning to come across as money grabbing, I would just like to know where I stand and what I can expect. I gave up a career to be at home with the children, which was a choice we made jointly.

Thank you.

Jen x

ItsDecisionTime Thu 29-Aug-13 10:08:24

I would say that, at a minimum, you're entitled to 50% of absolutely everything. If your children are still at home and under 18 then I believe you have a right to live in the family home until they are 18 after which, it might need to be sold and the profit split 50/50, or one buys the other out. I wouldn't worry about your ex's squabbles, it will all work out as it should in the end.

Collaborate Thu 29-Aug-13 10:58:39

There's no "right" to live in the family home if there are children. It's simply one of the options.

jenny99 Thu 29-Aug-13 21:58:34

Thank you. I am going to be moving anyway. I've wanted to move for 10yrs. I can't wait! x

mrsmalcolmreynolds Sat 31-Aug-13 20:19:06

And the pension is just an asset to be taken into account like anything else. If he's set on keeping it all he will need to give up more than 50% of something else...

sarahtigh Sat 31-Aug-13 22:17:59

after 20 years most things would be considered 50/50
in scotland inheritances are considered mostly as solely the benefactors so 50k from your father is still your 50K not just 25k each, in England 50k would normally be 25k each

not everything has to be sold and split 50/50 so one party might keep all of one asset and another something different

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