Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

How to I get my wife to move out

(17 Posts)
OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Wed 24-Jul-13 13:53:57

OP, am so very sorry this is happening to you and your kids. I can't add to any legal advice but I second the advice to contact Al-Anon for support for yourself; you must be going through such a trying time (to put it mildly!) dealing with all this. Look after yourself x

Collaborate Mon 15-Jul-13 13:02:38

This is the evidence you need to get legal aid on the strength that the child is at risk:

www.justice.gov.uk/legal-aid-for-private-family-matters/legal-aid-child-at-risk-of-abuse-from-partner#social

Of course if you're over the LA limit on income grounds then it matters not whether you satisfy this additional test.

Snorbs Mon 15-Jul-13 12:58:47

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. I went through a somewhat similar experience and I remember how lost I felt. The good news is that you will get through this. Things can get better for you and your children.

I don't know the legalities of getting your wife out of the house. However, you mentioned that you have already had contact with children's services. This might be your best approach. Certainly, anything you can do to get them on-side will help. If they are saying that it is unsafe for your children to remain in the same house as their mother then that leads to one of two possible outcomes - either you and the children move out, or the mother moves out. Obviously it would be better from the children's point of view that their mother moves out as it would be less disruptive to them.

I believe that social services can assist with this but quite how far that assistance goes depends a lot on how seriously they view the situation. I don't think it's called this any more but if your children are on the equivalent of what used to be the "At-risk register" then Social Services has quite a lot of influence. If not then their powers are more limited.

Is social services still involved? If so, under what basis?

Mintyy Mon 15-Jul-13 12:06:49

I'm so sorry! You don't have to forgive her or worry about forgiving her right now (although presumably you love your children very much and they would not be here without her). Put that to one side for now if you can and coldly focus on the practical. Try Al-Anon?

carnage Mon 15-Jul-13 11:58:09

It appears I am not eligible for legal aid despite being on DLA (higher mobility) on bringing home £100 from work and getting tax credits. We have equity in the house.
I will *never* forgive my wife for putting me in this situation.

WafflyVersatile Mon 15-Jul-13 00:28:55

That all sounds ridiculously distressing.

Hope you make progress with legal stuff tomorrow.

Zynda Sun 14-Jul-13 23:41:38

Snorbs might be able to advise. I think he had similar experiences. Apologies if I'm remembering wrong.

carnage Sun 14-Jul-13 23:39:26

just had the second set of police and ambulance crews here trying to get her to go to hospital. She won't even allow the ambulance crew to take her blood pressure.
Under the mental health act your allowed to drink yourself to death without interference from the doctors. Provided you can show you know what you are doing. This is f***ing madness.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 10:19:04

Money well spent to safeguard your children. Good luck.

carnage Sun 14-Jul-13 09:07:13

thanks for the advice so far I think I will need to spend a little to see a solicitor.

Collaborate Sun 14-Jul-13 07:56:40

You need to apply for both a residence and occupation order. If she remains in the house the children may be at risk of significant harm, but under either application the court can order her out of the house.

You would need to apply without notice first, and the judge would shoehorn it in to the court's diary a couple of days later.

You must get a process server to serve the papers in her.

I'd say as well that you can't do this yourself very easily. Consider getting a lawyer to at least prepare the court applications for you. Cut costs down by writing your own statement, that your lawyer could tweak if necessary.

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 14-Jul-13 03:19:46

OP, please contact Al-anon. They were (and remain) a massive source of support for my uncle and his DCs.

MooseBeTimeForSpring Sun 14-Jul-13 03:09:05

What's the situation with your house? Do you own or rent?

You need to apply for an occupation order and a residence order to get your wife out of the house and an order confirming that the children will live with you.

If social services have been involved the Court will need to know. There is provision on the application form for this,

You can ask the Court to deal with this urgently. A normal application means you have to give the other party 14 days notice of the first hearing.

In certain circumstances this time can be reduced or a hearing can even take place without the other party present. If you could get social services to be present or write a letter in support for any initial hearing, that will help.

WafflyVersatile Sun 14-Jul-13 01:53:01

Can child services not help or advise? I've no experience of this, sorry. Maybe you need an occupancy order? Phone cafcass or CAB?

Llareggub Sun 14-Jul-13 01:49:27

You have my sympathy. My exhusband is also an alcoholic and luckily for us his parents took him. I am not willing for him to be alone with the children. Is this an option for you ? My children are so much happier now.

carnage Sun 14-Jul-13 01:35:06

The kids are spending the weekend with my mother and I need to be very pro-active at 9:01 Monday morning.

carnage Sun 14-Jul-13 01:24:31

Before you start, my wife is an alcoholic who can not and will not control her drinking. I am teetotal and have been for around 10 years
I got child services involved as I thought things couldn't continue the way they have been. She have been hospitalised 3 times in the last 12 months twice through drinking and once from falling down concrete stairs. Each time they detox her and with-in weeks she is drinking again.
Child services have lost patients with her behavior and have said if she is not willing to go to hospital (as the GP advises) or work with the alcohol team then the children can't stay here.
She has refused to go to hospital or contact the alcohol team. At the end of the day the children should come first and this is their home. I don't want to waste money on a solicitor if I can put the application onto the court myself but I don't know what to ask for, help!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now