I have a friend who has a difficult relationship with her DD's dad. He winds her up and says things to the DD about her and whenever DD comes back from his, she's a bit difficult for a day or so (she's 4). All of which I've told her is just par for the course and not a basis to withhold contact.
Recently the dad made an application for a contact order and a residence order. Going for shared residence. The contact order was made (every other weekend and one mid-week night every week) and has been complied with.
Now the application for shared residence is pending. Her solicitor has told her to write down her feelings about the dad and his care of the DD so the solicitor can do whatever she needs to do in relation to his application.
My friend is funded by legal aid.
All of my friend's objections to the dad relate to their mutual lack of respect for each other and what I think of as general power/control issues. E.g. My friend doesn't like him keeping the DD up late at night, doesn't like where he takes her on holidays, thinks he feeds her crap and lies to her about her mother. I understand how annoying all that is but my understanding is that no family judge is going to give a toss about any of that when it comes to residence. I can't see why this application needs to be heard at all as obviously the outcome will be that a shared residence order will be made. Right?
I suggested to friend that she ask her solicitor if that was the solicitor's view and the reply was yes, but please send me your comments on the dad anyway so I can put them in my response to his application.
I don't really understand why the solicitor is doing this. What a waste of time and public money. Is it just that she needs to be paid and the legal aid system requires attendance at the hearing to be paid?
I am concerned about this going ahead because the father has insisted on a CAFCAS report on the DD, and the child is already disturbed by the constant war between her parents. She loves her mum AND her dad (even though he is a bit of a knob).
I want to suggest to my friend that she save everyone the distress of this, given the outcome seems assured anyway, and just let him have the shared residence. But is it possible to do that and is there any reason not to in these circumstances?
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Legal matters
Family lawyers, a question about shared residency
20 replies
Mendi · 28/06/2013 06:42
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