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Supervised Contact with older child

(5 Posts)
juniper1234 Sat 18-May-13 10:03:59

Just to be clear, I was seeking prohibited steps, residence and non mol x the contact thing only came up due to cafcass involvement and recent MARAC

juniper1234 Sat 18-May-13 10:02:39

Countydurhamlass- I will keep a diary and keep cafcass updated. I cannot end proceedings as then he will attempt to take child out of my care again (this is why I started proceedings as he did take child out of my care despite not having p.r). he had not seen child for 3 years at his own request, contact was reestablished approx 6 months ago. Child saw no problem when father would not return him, but given my other childs experiences (other child has seen father for 12 months prior and had been made to physically engage in a dv incident and suffered fathers verbal aggression), along with what social services were telling me I knew I had to get him back.

I found out a lot from other child and social services when younger child (bear in mind both children over 12) was out of my care!

Father is self representing. I watched him dig himself some big holes, as the judge said he was going to check what he told him in regards to other child proceedings , he has other children.

mumandlawyer- No divorce proceedings, I left him well over a decade ago. this wasn't the very first hearing, It was our third appearance ie Directions hearing. (sorry, i couldn't remember the word until now). But I believe we are up to 3K in costs after the directions hearing (shocking I know and god knows why it is costing so much). The closest supervised contact centre is a good 60-90 minutes away so yeah I cant see child giving up half a day for it and I know for a fact that father will not make that type of effort.

Child had said that he wanted to live with dad and his new partner but long history and current dv issues (as i said MARAC and social services , this man has 2 younger children also, and no contact as per court order atm, with view of supervised in future), and given my childs emotional difficulties when father stopped contact 3 years prior (by way of a very damaging phone call to inform children of this), along with the fact that child has only had contact with father approx 15 times in 3 years, is what led me to these proceedings.

I believe that child has formed more of a relationship with his fathers current partner, she is a big force, rings him a lot and is only a few years older than him. I asked child if he had any thought about when he would like to see dad...his response 'naaa, too tired to think about it' !

mumandlawyer Sat 18-May-13 00:36:34

Why has this already cost you thousands?? You said this was the first hearing - are you going through divorce proceedings also? It is a shame that you cannot continue to have representation. As you say the ball is in his court. He should agree to the terms of any contact on offer. If he refuses a family member there is nothing else that you can do. I doubt a contact centre would take this if there is DV and anyway, contact centres rarely offer supervised contact. They offer supported contact which is totally different. Whereabouts are you? I assume your child wants to see their father?

countydurhamlass Fri 17-May-13 19:01:09

keep a diary of all that you have done, ie contacted his mother. If he does not do anything then when you go back to court explain to the judge what you have done and that he has not agreed, or tried to move his contact on and ask the judge to end the proceedings given his lack of involvement. i am presuming he gets public funding? if so it is no longer available and therefore he will not want to reinstigate proceedings at his own expense? as long as you seem to be co-operating there really isnt anything more you can do.

juniper1234 Fri 17-May-13 15:17:53

I need some advice, I wont go into the background of the situation as I would be here all day. Childrens services and Cafcass have ordered supervised contact between father and older child (over 12). I have contacted paternal grandmother who has agreed despite the father telling judge that she would not. This was first 'proper' hearing and section 7 ordered by cafcass.

The ball is now in his court, there is no one else that can supervise this contact. He had tried it on and asked for his partner to supervise but that is a no go as social services and myself wont allow (read between the lines if you will and you may grasp why), what i will say is that there is along history with of a type of behaviour with multiple partners, including myself and there is MARAC involvement.

So now we are waiting for his response to his family supervising contact. I am worried this will not happen as it does not suit him.

If contact at paternal grandmothers does not occur within the next two weeks I am going to contact Cafcass (I am having to stop using solicitor as of next week as it has cost thousands so far). If after another week or so contact has still not been arranged, or no approach made by father in respect of contact, then I am going to ask paternal grandmother to confirm this in writing.

Does anyone have any ideas of what to do next? Or who could supervise?

I am just preempting his and my next move. Judge did say if no agreement is made then it is up to the father to bring the matter back to court.

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