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Residence advice please

(5 Posts)
leftfootrightfoot Sat 06-Apr-13 20:54:04

Saw solicitor about divorce last week, she suggested i get residency of the children as H has depression, been suicidal in the last year and has felt he may harm the children in the past, he also goes to anger management and has a new woman who also has depression. She explained briefly about it but I can't remember what she said tbh as there was so much to take in. He has said they should live with me but wants them to stay over at his house, which I am not happy about at this point. I think this is why she suggested a residence order but am not sure? With joint responsibility can I stop him having them to stay in his new home? At the moment he is seeing them at my home with me there but I can tell he wants to get to seeing them at his place asap.

If I apply for residency could it be he just agrees and that is it, job done, or does it go to court anyway?

How does the procedure work in real life?

If I get residency what will that mean for me, the kids and my H, when things have settled and I feel he has resolved his issues can I then let the children stay with him?

Does it affect maintenance etc?

betterthanever Sat 06-Apr-13 22:57:21

Maintenance and contact are two different things. A residency order and contact order are different too. Your solicitor should be explaining all that. I am not a lawyer but just wanted to let you know that if you are going to court this all needs to be raised with the CAFCASS officer who looks after the welfare of the children, which is the main thing. If you have real concerns about your children's safety you do not need to allow unsupervised access/over nights but that would all need to be looked into by CAFCASS.
Maintenance does reduce if the NRP has the children more of the time but if that is any motivation for the time you suggest they have the children, it will not be viewed well and maintenance will not be discussed as part of a contact case.

leftfootrightfoot Sat 06-Apr-13 23:27:51

Thanks better, I need to speak to sol re details I think. I am not motivated by the maintenance, just wondered if it worked the same regardless of the arrangements, just being based on days spent at the houses

STIDW Sun 07-Apr-13 10:42:25

Parental responsibility gives both parents equal responsibility and rights to carry out those responsibilities.That means you both have the same responsibility to determine living, contact arrangements, which school children attend, what the children do and who they see when they are with you. If agreement can't be reached either parent may to apply to court for an order to regulate PR.

A residence order determines where a child shall live. A residence order can be in favour of one parent (sole residence) or shared when children "live" in two homes. Shared residence orders don't have to be 50:50 equal time sharing they are usually in different proportions.

Contact orders regulate when a a child is to be made available for contact. In most cases when there is a residence order there is also a contact order. Exceptionally when a court finds contact isn't safe indirect contact (phone, emails, letters etc) or contact in a contact centre may be ordered.

Practically there isn't that much difference between shared residence and the more conventional residence/contact order. Residence orders are only really granted if for one reason or another it is deemed inappropriate for a child to "live" with one parent and the other parent is better placed to care for the children's needs.

STIDW Sun 07-Apr-13 10:50:43

Sorry I meant to say you can agree in the statement of arrangements for children that you have residence and your ex has contact but if you apply to court for a residence order there will be a hearing and investigations. During court proceedings it is possible to agree residence and the judge can make an order "by consent" rather than imposing a ruling.

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