Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
Cafcass - do they always make the right recommendations?(15 Posts)
Almost two years ago, my (now) partner and his ex split amicably due to mutual agreement. They have two Young sons. Access to his boys was regular and continual, everyone was happy. My partner has a great career, and is a much loved member of the community. Then she found out about me. Suddenly all access stopped, he had to take her to court to see them, at which point she flung a whole ream of (false) allegations at him and the judge which duly meant Cafcass and other bodies having to become involved. As I said, almost two years later, he is still battling to prove his innocence. It seems his ex is not obliged to prove his guilt. We have todays received the findings from the cafcass wishes and feelings report, whereby they have suggested he sends the boys a monthly letter to start with, with the view of moving on to chaperoned access in a contact centre months later. This is a man who took the boys to and from school every day, entertained them all weekend, took them on trips, ferried them to their out of school activities, because their mother is a high powered career woman and was generally working. He and I have successful jobs, a beautiful home, and I have two children of my own, who are perfectly rounded, bright little people. Having him in their lives has only been a positive thing and has benefited them immensely. Based on the cafcass report, it will be at least 30 months by the time he sees his own childrem, that's if she doesn't throw any more spanners into the works. It crushes him every day, and I am doing my best to be a supportive partner. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer any words of support? This is so tough xxx
Tell your husband to head over to dadtalk and post in legal eagle, wealth of top notch advice
Children are being used here
Thankyou Riakin, the children are being used, And undoubtedly poisoned against him/ us. I will get him onto it now x
cafcass are a bit of a joke TBH. they are not impatrial and will often base their views biasly no matter what the evidence says and they will not change thier minds no matter what. dont rely on the truth being seen it rarely comes to the fore with cafcass.
Just because the initial Cafcass report sets out a proposed pathway of contact, doesn't mean it is set in stone and will actually take that long. My own report said 18 months of supervised contact in a contact centre and now a mere 7 months and 2 contact sessions later, it has already gone to unsupervised and there is definite talk of overnight visits.
How long was your partner seeing the boys regularly after the split? And how long is it since he has now seen them? If he can prove that he was a large part of their life while living together and that contact went well initially after the split, that would be reason enough to push for contact to resume quickly, even if that means going to a contact centre for it. It is usual to get some form of face to face contact arranged quite quickly when children are young as they live so much in the moment that prolonged lack of contact can damage the future relationship.
That said, they must be some damn weighty allegations that his ex has made if Cafcass are recommending no physical contact at all and such a long time before it becomes a consideration. Just because Cafcass haven't included any evidence from her in a report, doesn't mean she doesn't have any. How certain are you that her allegations are entirely unfounded?
Cafcass just report on what the children are saying, and how in the light of that contact can progress. They don't/shouldn't ever comment on disputed facts as if they have found in favour of one party or the other telling the truth. That's the job of the judge.
Thanks all for your points and advice x hopingitllallbeok, thankyou for your message, the boys saw their father regularly unsupervised for some 3 months before contact was stopped. Her allegations were put forward in the way of a Scot Schedule and there was no evidence provided to substantiate her claims other than 'witness statements' from 3 of her friends in which they describe what she accounted to them 'happened' because none of them were actually there. This is why we cannot understand the severity of what is happening. She is alleging one account of domestic violence 5 years previous to their separation. After which, they then had another child together and made plans to marry and move to Australia. He has now not seen his children for almost 19 months. He hasn't been allowed so much as a phone call. I appreciate that the courts and associated support services have to be 100% certain that the children are safe, but there is nothing other than her word, that they aren't. I have seen every court bundle and all correspondence between her, the courts and my partner, I am completely at a loss, as is his Mackenzie Friend, as to why they have been so against any contact at all.
It can be very frustrating. Although no assumption should be made sometimes the authorities need to treat allegations of DV as though they might be true just in case whilst investigations are carried out. Unfortunately that can take time and if there has been a long break in contact it may take a little time to re-establish the relationship particularly if the children are young.
Thankyou x it's just so frustrating x I know thurs acting in the best Interests of the children that's what's keeping us going xxx
In my experience, CAFCASS did not report the childrens views accurately. My eldest asked what had been said about his comments, disagreed and then sent a two page letter to CAFCASS, stating what his views actually were. I would like to hope that this action did not adversely influence what happened next, and it was incompetence rather than deliberate maliciousness from the CAFCASS reporter.
The subsequent wishes and feelings report made reference to police checks which supposedly stated that I had been investigated for serious assault on my ex-wife some years before. This was completely untrue, and CAFCASS were sent a letter from the polices legal department to say that they had had no reports of any assault by me whatsoever, and that no investigations had ever been made. This letter was ignored, and the allegation was repeated in a subsequent report.
I made a formal complaint to CAFCASS, and months later, after the final custody hearing, I was informed that the piece of paper from the police which supposedly told CAFCASS about the investigations could not be found. A senior officer from CAFCASS had also told the officer concerned to write to me to apologise for their error. I received a grudging apology seven months later, after much prompting.
CAFCASS have their own agenda and can operate without the necessary checks and balances which one would expect in on organisation which has so much power and influence on childrens lives. It would not surprise me if the CAFCASS officer in your case has taken the view if the mother has made these accusations it must be true, and has framed their recommendations accordingly. It doesnt mean you cant fight against the CAFC ASS recommendation, just that it can be an uphill struggle and you and your partner should be prepared for buckets of nasty stuff to be thrown in your direction. A lot will depend on the ages of the children, whether your partner was married to their mother (you imply they werent, I think) what you can prove by way of contact before the split and what youre trying to claim in the proceedings. If you can afford it, I would also recommend a shit hot lawyer, as this may be outside the experience of a McKenzie friend.
The kids wanted to live with me which they now do, and the youngest lives with his mother on alternate weekends. Ive had a long and exhausting fight to achieve what the children told me they wanted. It has been worth it though.
its worth remembering that cafcass officers/ guardian ad litems are all different there are some that are shocking and actually emotionally abuse children into going for contact they do not want. Some also come into the case with a very biased attitudes of their own personal belifes too. Saying that some are reasonable too. Mostly they are not there to represent the childrens wishes and feelings but to promote NRP contact.
Two days ago I received my cafcass report. I've wanted to move back home to n.ireland for many years. Even throughout my marriage but circumstances wouldn't allow. I've finally got the strength to make the move. And want to take my 12 year old with me. My child has constantly expressed to me he wants to come with me. At one point saying if court say no we are going back to court. He's expressed his dislike of his new high school to both me and his sister continually. I've received the report. Quite a biased report. Something I felt the cafcass officer portrayed when I first met him. I do more for the kids than my ex. Shoes can be falling of their feet and he would wait till I buy them. I've been astounded at times when I see them at times. He's on £40k plus masses of overtime. I'm on £23k. I'm expected to pay 50% of everything. Hence financially I'll be better if moving back near my parents. I've no one here and feel totally alone. Another reason for my move. I don't socialise and live for the kids. My life is work and kids. Ive encountered an occasion where my ex's partner kicked up a stink over me asking my ex to pick my son up from school. My ex was a bully when we split even though I called the police twice and he was verbally told off at work at the time. I wondered why these incidents didn't show when cafcass did their police checks. He's in a responsible job high paid job. I'm being given a home by my parents and it's a better way of life and financially better for me. My child is familiar with his maternal family I've researched schools doctors activities he can join etc. my cafcass officer said in his report my son was worried about my move but didn't establish what my child's worries were. If he's documented anything further like my sons answers he's not included then in the report. I'm devastated he said I was making this move for myself and not my son. He's recommended he stays with his father. I've spent my whole time crying. My 18 year old has told me to fight on. She believes her brother is better off with me. We have had our ups and downs but are in a better place now. She watched me totally break down last night. I've 50/50 care. Never make waves for my ex. Feel this man from cafcass has written a biased report not even mentioning the importance of my child's contact with my side of the family. I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through anything similar with cafcass. I've not taken this decision to move likely. But feel cafcass have portrayed I have. If that was the case would I've put effort in to research. This man has watched me breakdown twice and played down the demeaning statement my ex has put in against me. Where as my statement was fair and not nasty...I'm totally lost and confused. Sorry for rabbiting on. Has anyone any advice? thank you.
Better to repost your question on its own thread.
Join the discussion
Please login first.