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Our struggle with Scottish Social Services (SS)

(23 Posts)
JustAnotherSod Sun 31-Mar-13 23:11:17

Marie - what is the legal basis of the children being in foster care? Are they on a Section 25 (voluntary) placement, if not, has a referral been made to the Childrens Reporter?

quietlysuggests Fri 29-Mar-13 13:42:18

2 suggestions
1- get GOOD legal advice. Pay good money for this, if it saves the 2 children it will be worth it.
2 - find out what ss want and give it to them. Is it that dd should go to parenting classes - then she should go and not say "I am qualified I refuse to go". Is it that they dont want her partner living with her as they think he is not good for the children or that he adds to your daughters inability to cope - then he must move out straight away. No point saying Oh but ss are wrong he is a good partner. Just get him out and worry about the relationship later. If its mandatory drug tests - do it. If its she must accept supervision, then she must.
Social services want something from her that she is not giving them. Find out what it is.
Does she curse at ss, refuse to meet with them, miss appointments, get frustrated in meetings with them - all this must stop.

Lilka Wed 27-Mar-13 21:40:02

Ignore anybody telling you they want to get the children adopted. It's pretty near impossible to find adoptive parents for siblings aged (by then) 9 and 7, or even 10 and 8. Most authorities honestly would not even attempt it, it wouldn't enter their heads as being a viable option. For children that old, if Plan A (return to parents/other family) fails, then Plan B is usually long term fostering. Adoption really will not be their goal so don't listen to those conspiracy theories.

What your daughter needs to do is engage with the social workers. She needs to be committed to working to get them back. Fighting and refusing to comply will ultimately not help at all. You need to find out what their main concerns are, what they want her to do, and then she needs to do it. Legal respresentation can help her to do this and hopefully give good advice.

Kewcumber Wed 27-Mar-13 21:03:18

I can't be of much help regarding ss in scotland. However please stop thinking that their motives are to "steal" the children for adoption, no social worker is going to find it easy to place a sibling group aged a minimum of 6&8 and older by the time any adoption plan is put in place, one of whom it seems has a disability and a degree of behavioural problems. Whatever any random website has lead you to believe, it would in fact be most social workers nightmare and continuing to focus on this will distract you from your main aim which should be working with ss to allay their concerns.

bubblesinthesky Wed 27-Mar-13 20:52:52

Ah ha I've found it. Maybe try sending a private message to the OP to see if they can point you in the right direction? Its here

bubblesinthesky Wed 27-Mar-13 20:45:32

Marie someone posted about problems with Scottish social services on another board recently. I think they won in the end. I will try to find their thread and link to it

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 20:23:43

Well if one of them has a disability it makes them even less likely to succeed in an adoption so you need to put the conspiracy theories out of your head & concentrate on sorting out whatever misunderstandings there have been re their care. Hopefully when you meet with the lawyer they can pinpoint exactly what your daughter & partner need to do in order to get the children back as soon as possible.

scarlettsmummy2 Wed 27-Mar-13 18:50:16

I would arrange a meeting with SS and go along with your daughter and be as calm as possible, get them to outline their concerns and then establish what she needs to show she is doing to get the children back. Work with them rather than against. Where is their own father? What is his take on the situation?

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:50:44

To All.... maybe I haven't explained properly- we are close and always have been, I visit regularly and when not there my daughter calls me almost daily, she is honest with me, and I trust her. I have read the reports myself and have read the mistakes and lies. He is disabled and so on medication for that but she is not on any medication, kids always dressed appropriately, kids both healthy and intelligent, kids eat school dinners as her and partner on benefits at the moment. Also she is qualified in the childcare field and has been for most her adult life, and he has worked with kids on/off for over 25yrs. Also neither of them have any previous convictions or had any claims against them, ever. Also both have clean CRB reports, as do I and my husband. I understand no-one comes on here and says they were right to remove them, and I understand without all the facts its hard to give constructive advice. I know many will doubt what I'm saying but I came on here looking for some advice and support and answers, as this is obviously all new to me as not experienced SS in this way before. I want to help them and while they are waiting for legal representation I am looking at all the options suggested, not only from this site but others too.

scarlettsmummy2 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:14:52

Have you been up to see your daughter and got a good grip of the situation?

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 17:13:26

I have close links with social workers & my family are involved in that line of work so obviously I can't comment on your individual case but as others have pointed out no one goes on these forums saying SS were quite right to remove my children from me, & we do know that children do suffer at the hands of their parents sometimes, more so statistically where there is a step parent involved in the living arrangements.

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:10:25

2cats2many- Your right I am upset and agree I'm emotional too but why wouldn't I be when I have read the lies myself and I cannot just sit back and watch them get torn apart by those lies, I didn't mean to sound arsey and I apologise if it came across that way, I was just asking the questions so I can guage her experience in these matters.

scarlettsmummy2 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:08:25

I have direct experience of social services. Firstly- their aim will not be to have your grand children adopted. Really it won't. If they are manipulating the facts, this in all likely hood is because neglect is extremely hard to prove- this is the main reason most children are taken into care. Also nearly 90% of children will be returned.

Also, you are 400 miles away, how do you KNOW exactly what is going on on a daily basis? Your daughter phoned them because she could not cope, that will have course sent alarm bells. Does she work? How does she support them financially? How os your daughters health? Is she on medication? What is the childrens school attendance like- SS will have spoken to their teachers. How are they doing at school? What is their behaviour like? Are they in good health? Do they have a packed lunch every day? A full school uniform?What do you know about the partner? Is he known to social services? Does he have any unrelated allegations against him?

I obviously know these questions sound harsh but it will be much more complex than a conspiracy against your daughter.

2cats2many Wed 27-Mar-13 16:59:44

Mariestone- I understand that you are feeling upset and emotional, but you have come on here asking for advice and that is what RedHelen gave. You shouldn't get arsey with her just because you don't like it.

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 16:54:59

RedHelenB... are you a social worker? What actual experience do YOU have of SS? You may not be certain, but like I said I'm not the only one who disagrees with the SS reports, and yes I CAN be 100% certain that the SS are lying...

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 16:40:18

SS have budgets & it is more expensive keeping them in foster care than it is to return them to their home so I assume there is some doubt about their care if they were to return home. I couldn't 100% be certain that something had or hadn't happened if I was 400 miles away. They can't just be adopted like that, there is a court process to go through first. What is wanted is that adoption doesn't take forever in cases where it is obvious that the child can't be cared for by the parents even with the support of SS. For the vast majority of families though, SS would want to keep them within the family unit.

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 15:07:01

Obviously I cannot go into great detail here, on a public website, but I know for sure these allegations are false and are not substantiated by any real evidence. I have read the reports myself and know 100% that SS are not being honest and are mis-interpreting the truth, falsely accusing them, twisting anything said to them, and leaving out important factual evidence that clears them of any crimes theyre supposed to have commited. I'm not the only one who is 100% sure SS are not being honest in reports! Also the children constantly ask when they can come home when on their visits and on the phone, yet SS say in reports kids are scared to return. These and SO many other things are twisted by SS, its just scary to think that the so called professionals involved might actually believe the lies of the SS and not the actual, factual, evidential proof.

ElsieMc Wed 27-Mar-13 14:37:13

Your family need legal advice. In the meantime, you need to contact the Family Rights Group, who have an advice line. They offer support to families and grandparent carers who have become involved with social services. You can post for advice as well. I do not know whether they cover Scotland.

It is clear that this matter has persisted for too long, particularly as SS are generally required to look at family as prospective carers for the children. It may be that you should put yourself forward as a carer. However, are you sure you know the full extent of what SS are saying is the problem?

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 13:35:43

As I live over 400 miles away this was 'not an option' at the time as stated by SS. Yes I do know the circumstances, it was my daughter who phoned them as she was having problems with the 8yr old child and wanted help. Within hours of SS arriving both children had been taken away. Since then false allegations have been made by SS against my daughter and her partner (not either childs father). From reading other peoples experiences on the internet from many sites we understand we are not alone and SS have done this many times before, usually with the horrific adoption goal. SS refuse to acknowledge my existance at present, apart from making claims I have said things I haven't, and have been contacted when I haven't...

What experience have you had with SS?

pictish Wed 27-Mar-13 13:15:20

Why were they taken into voluntary care?

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 13:12:19

Could you have looked after the children for that weekend or in the future?

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 13:07:19

Do you know all the circumstances as to why they were put into "voluntary care"?

Finding adoptive parents for 6 & 8 year old siblings is generally not that easy ( babies & toddlers are easier) so are you sure that is the reason. Is your daughter's partner the father of the children?

mariestone2206 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:34:32

WE NEED HELP!!!
My daughter's 2 children (6 and 8) were put into voluntary care (on the advice of SS) for 'only the weekend', but 2 hellish and very emotional months on..... the children are still with foster carers, SS are making lots of unfounded accusations and malicious comments in reports against her and her partner.. manipulating the truth.. ignoring the truth.. unfortunately (according to others) this appears to be the usual story when SS are involved in similar cases. My daughter is distraught and has been lied to and misled by SS and we feel the children are being misled by SS into making statements which are being misquoted in SS's favour. SS have even made stuff up when no evidence has existed in that area. SS are not following procedure or the law, and (god forbid) we think they ultimately want to have the children adopted as we have read on many websites this is their true goal!! Please help us stop this witch hunt (as it is been described on many sites). We ALL love the kids and the last thing we want is to lose them to power hungry SS and the lies they tell.

Has anyone else in Scotland been through this?
Can anyone suggest a particular firm/person who is not afraid (like so many are) to take on SS in western Scotland?
And has there been any 'children returned' success stories in Scotland? And what advice would you give us?
Many thanks

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