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Urgent advice please - grandad conned into leaving carer his house

(58 Posts)
Goldrill Sun 24-Mar-13 15:19:37

Any advice appreciated please! My grandad is in his 90s and in hospital being very seriously ill after a fall. My mum and dad have gone in to see him and he has mentioned in passing that he has left his house to one of his carers.

The carer comes in for an hour a few days a week but has been seriously abusing her position for several years. Mum hasn't done anything to date because the lady is kind to grandad and he likes her a lot - so she didn't want to upset him - and he has been fully in control of his faculties so to some extent he knows what he's doing. Example would be: carer's car breaks down and has to be scrapped. Grandad offers to sell her his car - worth around £4.5k - for £600 - to help them out.He must know it's not allowed because he sells it to her husband so carer won't be in trouble. She also works cash in hand for him on top of her normal hours, and gets her husband in to do odd jobs for cash.

Grandad has now realised he shouldn't have left her the house and wants to change his will - to only leave her half of it!

What on earth should my mum do? I think she needs to get his solicitor in there first thing tomorrow to get the will changed - I also presume she can go to the carer's employers; is this a case for the police also? This woman has access to a string of elderly and vulnerable people - god knows how many more she's conning. My mum was keen only to see her good side until the thing with the car, and thought she was just being nice, but the carer knows grandad is leaving her the house, despite being on very good terms with my mum as his only child, and has not said anything to mum or refused it.

Thanks in advance for any advice. My poor mum!

aladdinsane Mon 25-Mar-13 15:09:19

This is a vulnerable adult issue and there are proper procedures to follow
Does he have a care manager from social services?
You need to get someone involved quickly
I am an health care professional and this is not acceptable behaviour because he is in a position where he can easily be manipulated
we have had cases like this and follow the vulnerable adults procedure
In fact - did you say he is in hospital?
If so there will be someone allocated there to support vulnerable adults

fatnfrumpy Tue 26-Mar-13 00:46:12

Gales- I would like to point out my FIL was a much loved father, father in law and Grandad.
We lived 5hrs away from him and visited him monthly.
We asked him many many times to come and live with us, we have a grandad annex!!!
Susan was paid for by my husband not his father.
She also "cleaned" for other old folk in the flats, She was not his "carer" he did not need a "carer"
He gave her his car so that she could do his shopping, I asked her to cook for him when he was about 83 as I thought he wasn't bothereing, we PAID her £12.00 per hour to do this.
She cost my husband £210 per week to clean and cook when we were not there for the weekend.
My BIL took him for a pint about twice a month on the weekends we were not visiting.
He was fine in spirit on the Sunday in hospital until she and the hospital told him on the Tuesday he had to go into a nursing home. She told us he said he would rather die. Nobody discussed the liverpool care pathway with us. We later learnt she had told the hospital she was his daughter even though they knew his two sons came most weekends?
We feel he should have been here with us and his three grandkids in the last 10 yrs of his life.
She told me after he died that he told her she was the daughter he never had and that hurt as I was very close to him!
She may have grown fond of him but we were paying her to make sure he had a clean home and a hot meal. It was a job to her, he and the other 3 or 4 clients she had there.
As far as I am concerned she cross the boundary.

Kundry Fri 29-Mar-13 16:20:03

If he is in hospital ask to peak to their Adult Safeguarding Lead - they will have one.

This is unacceptable behaviour by the carer. Even if he can make his own decisions, some frail elderly people can feel they are 'friends' with the carer and so need to help them out financially, or not want to upset them or get them in trouble, or the carer has convinced them their family don't care about them. I've met some staggeringly naive and vulnerable older people who didn't have dementia but simply couldn't keep up with a manipulative younger person.

This is taken extremely seriously by social services and please please report it.

NomNomDePlum Fri 29-Mar-13 16:30:04

fatnfrumpy - if your fil's cleaner was making next of kin decisions on his behalf, the hospital has majorly fucked up. that is really disturbing.

Fleecyslippers Tue 02-Apr-13 20:35:57

This is a vulnerable adult/safeguarding issue. If he is now in hospital, raise your concerns to the ward manager - they will be able to advise you on the next steps to take.
It's actually quite scary how many people on this thread believe that this is 'ok'. A person may be of 'sound mind' and still be incredibly vulnerable to abuse.

mercibucket Tue 02-Apr-13 20:54:21

quite unbelievable peoole think this is ok. it is not. op, i dont jnow what you do, but start with her employers and the will. we have seen this first hand with neighbours and it is horrible to watch. the police wouldnt act and the carer ran their own business. v sad sad

MummytoKatie Sat 06-Apr-13 13:11:43

It's the frog in hot water / abuse thing.

Did she start off " borrowing" small amounts off him, before moving up to the car and then finally the house? It's very hard to know when to say something.

My gran had a "friend" in her late 80s that my parents / uncle were slightly suspicious of. They made the decision not to interfere as he obviously made her happy but they did wonder about his motivations. As it was, they were right not to interfere as he only inherited a sentimental object in the will and was obviously heartbroken at her death. But it is very hard to decide.

And that was a bloke she met at church not someone paid to look after her so completely different.

bevelino Mon 08-Apr-13 23:25:09

Property fraud and thefts against the elderly by people they know and trust are surprisingly common. The abuse is very subtle and often takes place over a period of time. Financial abuse of the elderly can be too emotionally charged for family members to resolve and your family may need to consult a solicitor who will have the knowledge and resources to look into the issue in a detached but sensitive manner.

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