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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

decree nisi read in court tomorrow - ex plans to attend

17 replies

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 20:15

Hello, my ex didn't respond within the 28 days required to defend my divorce petition and is now planning to attend court (tomorrow) to argue against it going forward. The judge agreed it and i had understood this to be a formality. all the information about defended divorce doesn't seem to be about this bit.

do i need to attend as well? if so, what do i need to bring?

OP posts:

Report

justmuddlingalong · 07/02/2013 20:16

Champagne

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 20:20

will it go ahead? i'm so confused!

OP posts:

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 20:26

sorry, just to be very clear the judge accepted the grounds for petition and called it an undefended divorce. can my ex defend it at this stage?

OP posts:

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 20:27

(unreasonable behaviour)

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justmuddlingalong · 07/02/2013 20:34

Sorry Sparkles, that wasn't much use. I'm no lawyer but have been checking online for you. Usually the Decree Absolute is just a formality and goes through without you having to be there, online advice seems to say that as long as all financial/children issues have been agreed, there are few reasons your STBX can delay the process. If you weren't going to attend tomorrow anyway, I wouldn't stress about going. Can you not phone the court or Citizens Advice in the morning?

jayho · 07/02/2013 20:37

no, he can make a prat of himself though! What on earth does he think he's going to say

'Sparkle is a silly girl and doesn't understand how lovely I am'

Judge 'Of course, these women must learn their place, she's still your wife' {gavel}

Your grounds for divorce have been accepted, he's been given 28 days to reply and has failed. It is not the role of the courts to force unhappily married people to remain in that state.

jayho · 07/02/2013 20:39

nisi isn't it? When it says 'read in court' btw, there isn't a bewigged judge and a huge courtroom. He's in his office, clerk hands him the piece of paper, he stamps it and signs it. Correct re absolute though, won't go through until family and financials are sorted.

justmuddlingalong · 07/02/2013 20:42

Sparkle, I'm not prying, but was one of your grounds for divorce reasons, lack of reliability/bad timekeeping?

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 21:35

it should have been! this is far far from the first time he's missed something important.

family and financials are both in court as well (this will be his visit number 8 and my number 6, almost all initiated by him except the divorce bit)

will there be any difference if i do or don't turn up?

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justmuddlingalong · 07/02/2013 22:03

I wouldn't think it'll make much difference if you're there or not. Think it's the first step to get the ball rolling. I never went, although if I were you I'd be interested to hear his excuse for not objecting within the proper time frame. Maybe you could take a flask of tea, a tartan travel rug and make a day of it! It'll be fine. I'm sure if there are any issues or problems, you'll be given another date to attend. Good luck

sparklesunshine · 07/02/2013 22:11

i'd just rather be doing work for my daughter's birthday party, on sat.

fricking pus head.

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justmuddlingalong · 07/02/2013 22:47

That sounds like much more fun. You'd probably be in and out of court in 2 mins, so I vote for party prepping.

sparklesunshine · 08/02/2013 13:09

well, i went and the judge now requires us to agree the grounds. I have asked him what grounds (of his behaviour) he would accept. If he does not come up with something, do I have any other recourse? Can I file again after, say one month, simply stating defending the divorce and making other court applications as grounds? I don't want to be stuck until we've lived apart 5 years.

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justmuddlingalong · 08/02/2013 15:50

Surely you don't have to agree. I would think that in most cases of couples getting divorced, agreeing just isn't going to happen. I would file again using the same grounds and pointing out that any problems with the original petition were caused by you stbx dragging his heels.

prh47bridge · 08/02/2013 17:35

Agreeing is not essential but it happens a lot. It avoids wasting money on a contested divorce.

If you cannot agree grounds you can file again but you can't use him defending the divorce as grounds.

sparklesunshine · 08/02/2013 18:27

If I file again, would it be good to change the examples or simply refile the same reasons?

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justmuddlingalong · 08/02/2013 19:25

If you were happy with the original grounds/examples. I'd stick with them. Don't feel the need to give more reasons than you originaly did.

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