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emergancy order of grandchild(5 Posts)
Hi I am new to the site, but was looking around for some advice of what to expect. my daughter had a bouncing baby boy in Nov 2011, they lived with me for the first month, was then back for christmas, then they returned home. My daughter spilt with babys dad but he seemed to be having the baby more than she did, at one point she fell out with me for refusing to baby sit on a friday when she had only had the baby the night before ONE night out of 7. On 9th July 2012 I recieved A call from the babys dad saying he had had my daughter there over night she had been crying said she could not cope and if he didnt take him he would have to put him into care. Although I was not speaking to my daughter at the time I said bring him here I have a spare room and do not work as my 11 yr old has recently had his A.D.H.D diagnosed and we are still working out the full extent of his problems as he also has emotional and developmental delays etc. So I have the space and time for the baby, I am only just 39 so not exactly too0 past it to look after a baby.
Due to this arrangement I started talking to my daughter again, as usual this did not last long and we were again arguing, she sent me a txt saying she was picking the baby up the following week make sure he and all his stuff was ready ! I contacted a solicitor and we were sent for mediation. before the mediation was even in place the argument had subsided and we were in agreement that baby should stay with me until my daughter was more stable and had seeked help from the mental health team, as she tried to say she had post natal depression she took half a pk of pills from the doctor and left it at that.
my daughter has had problems for years and I tried to get help but as she was not at risk no-one would listen, now she is 19 (next week) i can not ask for the help for her.
I suggested cognitive therapy would prob be the fastest way for her to get to where she is going as she takes no responsibility for anything, see's everything in the negative and is very manipulative, just for the tip of the ice burg
We again had an argument in Jan where I simply stated that i was sick of worrying about her and the dads feelings when they do enough of that for everyone, she replied if you dont want it on your shoulders give me my son bk im cool with that, the end of that msg also said so can you stop it now please.
i replied that she can not look after him properly here let alone full time she was a joke.
This may seem a bit harsh, but she was allowed once a week over night and since October she has only had him here at my house, I have pulled her up on several occasions on not careing for the baby or tending his needs and she replies well I do do it when I am on my own with him its funny ? I do not believe knowing her as well as I do that she is any different regarding his care when she is alone with him, she is lazy and will sit Playing with him (on her phone?) when at 2.30 in the afternoon she pulls herself away from the computer and says "oh you should have told me he needed lunch i would have done it ???? What ??
If I advise suggest or tell her anything I am having a dig and starting on her. If I don not tell her I am in the wrong because ' how is she supposed to know then?'
the last argument we had was on 6th jan the last time she see the baby was on the 1st jan then on 29th at 11.30 pm i recieved a tx saying she wants over night access next wk. I said to go through uncle mick as the tension with us is not healthy for the baby. she replied with who am I to tell her to go through anyone and who said she wants one night (she did!) i said that is what is in agreement, she replyed she dont care whats in agreement she wants her son back and to be a mother full time like it should be. I said I know she dont like to hear it but is is simply not ready and although this may be a good week what happens when it is not I am not arguing with her either she accept[ts her overnight as agreed or we go through the solicitors.
she then said she has paper work in place and signed but she don't want to take that route and when she has baby next week she is not bringing him back.
I am in court on Tuesday for an emergency order. I have no idea what to expect on Tuesday. Or how the courts make there decisions in these cases, has anyone got any advice as I am a wreck at the moment.
if you are still reading thanks for taking the time
Sorry, I didn't want to read and run. I don't have any advice but it sounds like a bad situation. I am sure some more knowledgable MN'ers will be along soon.
Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your whole situation. Good luck, I hope they do what's best for the child.
You need to find yourself a solicitor to represent you in court. Have a look tonight on the website www.resolution.org to find a local family specialist. Then first thing in the morning, ring around to see if you can get someone to go to court on Tuesday.
Whether you get someone to represent you or not, you need to be in court at least an hour before the appointment. I'm assuming that your daughter has made an application for a residence order.
The court won't hear any significant verbal evidence but if I were you, and certainly if you can't get a solicitor, you should spend most of tomorrow preparing a statement.
Keep it brief and above all factual. You will be cross examined on it at some point in the future so it must be absolutely true.
Don't worry about trying to use any legal jargon or anything, just head it up with the details on the application (names, dob of child, court number etc), and break it into reasonably short paragraphs.
2. Current status
3. Your care of child
4. Your reasons for it not being in his best interests to go back to his mum right now
5. Your plans for interim care, ie you continue to care for him, and set out a sensible regime of contact. I'd suggest that you offer generous contact of several times a week. Make it clear that you want him to go back to his mum as soon as she is able to care for him properly.
6. Finish off with your signature, name and the date.
Email the statement to your daughter's solicitors and hand deliver an original, signed copy to the court tomorrow afternoon so that the judge will hopefully have time to read it.
Keep it brief! The judge may only have 5 or 10 mins to skim over it before he or she sees you.
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