Hi im new to this site but i am in desperate need of advice!
Without going into boring detail, after 9 years and 3 kids me and my partner have decided its best that we split up. Its an amicable split and we are going to remain close friends as we do get on just not in a relationship!
My problem is that the boys are only 5 and our youngest 3 month and we dont want our relationship breakdown to affect them so we have come up with a plan where they shouldnt notice much change. We are proposing that he comes around 3 days a week after work to see them, have tea with them, do the bed time routine with them and then go home once they are in bed and to come round at the weekend and stay on the sofa so he is here for them all weekend, hence them not noticing he no longer lives with us.
I do know that they will have to know eventually and that one day we will both end up meeting other people but right now we want to focus on the kids and give them a stable loving home, after all we are parents and that is our job.
Obviously once he moves out i will not be able to rely on him financially anymore as he will have to pay to live in his new place, i work part time and know that as i single parent i should be entitled to help through tax credits etc BUT will our proposal for him to still be in the kids lives regular and stay regular (weekends) affect this?
In every sense we will no loner be living together as a couple, i will be responsible for the household bills, food etc whilst he provides me with money towards the children.
Basically my question is, can he stay over at the weekend to spend time with the kids so we can give them the stable environment every child is entitled to or will that be frowned upon?
the last thing i need right now is to get in trouble with benefits! we are just trying to do the best for the kids, after all they didnt ask to be born and they adore their dad, it would break their hearts if they knew he wasnt living with them anymore, how do you explain relationships to 5 year olds?
any advice appreciated, im just trying to do the right thing!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.
Legal matters
Will i get in trouble if i claim lone parent??
3 replies
whycantlifebeeasy · 30/01/2013 21:16
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
30/01/2013 21:24
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.