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Solicitor letter received saying I have denied access when I haven't - should I reply or see a Solicitor?

(17 Posts)
Pamelad18 Sun 16-Dec-12 12:32:37

Hi, please can you help me? I have posted before about my dd having contact with her Father as he subjected me to domestic abuse. Since the last attack on 15 Nov, I asked him to contact my sister with regards to contact but he hasn't bothered. I've now received a letter from his Solicitor saying that "contact between our client and dd broke down on 21 Nov and since that time you have indicated that you are not prepared to agree to contact taking place."????! Anyway, I have drafted up an e-mail to send back to them and was wondering if anyone can give me any help with it?
Here is what I have written so far:

Dear Sirs

Thank you for your letter dated 14 December 2012. You stated that I have refused contact between XXXXX and our daughter since 21 November. This is untrue. Following a verbal and physical attack on me by your client on 15 November, which was witnessed by our daughter causing her ongoing emotional harm, I informed your client that in the interests of our (mine and our daughter's) safety, contact must now be arranged via my sister and take place either at her home under her supervision or at a contact centre. To date, your client has not contacted either my sister or me to make any such arrangement or to object to this arrangement.

I have at no time prevented contact. I have only sought to ensure my physical safety and our daughter's emotional well-being. If your client would like to arrange contact via my sister, please remind him that her contact details are XXXXX. I continue to decline to have any further direct contact with your client, including mediation, as my physical and emotional safety cannot be guaranteed following repeated abuse by your client.

Please note that the incident of 15 November, as well as others, has been reported to the police. I will record and report all future direct contact by your client as harassment, as well as any attempts at verbal or physcial abuse.
Yours faithfully

I think that sounds fine, it is firm and makes clear that you will not be bullied.

MrsTomHardy Sun 16-Dec-12 12:59:29

Letter sounds ok to me.

Pamelad18 Sun 16-Dec-12 13:17:52


VegemiteSandwich Sun 16-Dec-12 13:24:38

Maybe add in a crime reference number for the 15th Nov?

MOSagain Sun 16-Dec-12 13:30:45

very well written, I've seen lawyers write worse letters grin

seventheaven Sun 16-Dec-12 13:36:46

Sounds very reasonable, it may be an idea to cc your solicitor into email so that it is logged. I would also have a chat with solicitor too (quick phone update), just to make sure records are updated.

Best of luck and stay strong

RandomMess Sun 16-Dec-12 13:40:23

I think it's good but you it's a bit contradictory that you are saying he mustn't contact you direct but in the first sentence you say he hasn't tried to arrange contact which implies he's allowed to do that.

Pamelad18 Sun 16-Dec-12 13:46:07

Thanks Randomness, the first sentence says that I have refused contact and that this is untrue?

Collaborate Sun 16-Dec-12 14:17:50

Good response. Send it.

CaseyShraeger Sun 16-Dec-12 14:24:34

I see what Randomness means -- you are using "contact" in some places to mean direct contact with you and in other places to mean visitation contact with your DD. I think it's clear enough as it stands, but you could think about changing "has not contacted either my sister or me" to "has not been in touch with either my sister or me" and "I continue to decline to have any further direct contact with your client" to "I continue to decline to have any further direct interaction with your client" (or maybe some other phrase -- "meet your client in person," perhaps?) just to remove any possible source of confusion.

Pamelad18 Sun 16-Dec-12 15:00:12

Oh I see, thanks for that. I've thought about this all day and I think I'm going to see a Solicitior for advice. Can't mess around where my daughter's life is concerned.
Thanks everyone.

prh47bridge Sun 16-Dec-12 18:52:31

Excellent letter. Send it. I think it is clear as it stands. I don't think there is any possible confusion. The only think I would change is to fix the spelling of "physical" in the final sentence.

lalalonglegs Sun 16-Dec-12 19:16:34

I think you have done a very good job of the letter. If your ex's solicitor persists then look at getting a solicitor of your own involved but your letter spells out the situation very clearly. Good luck.

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