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my ex is in my house

(27 Posts)
stolenhouse40 Wed 28-Nov-12 19:51:48

my ex is my house i bought the house before i met him he is still in there after driving me and my 5 kids out we got rehoused by local council he is on part of the mortgage but not the deeds he put a restriction on house without me knowing i have sold the house but its going to fall through because of this i have had 3 different solicitors i have 1 child with him she is 8 he has trashed the house and now changed the locks please if anyone knows anything

olgaga Wed 28-Nov-12 20:45:59

What is your latest solicitor doing for you? What have they said?

Collaborate Thu 29-Nov-12 00:14:09

I presume you're unmarried.

You need to take possession proceedings. That is likely to prompt him to issue an application under the Trust of Land etc Act, under which the court can declare what interest (if any) he has in the property.

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 17:47:13

my solicitor is doing her best so she says does anyone know if i can go to court myself and get an order of sale without a solicitor i am unmarried to him what is possesstion proceedings i want to sell the house i have offered him 15,000 but he wants half i bought the house from the council in 2002 with a big discount so i dont think he should have any of my discount if he is awarded money can i have it instead of maintinace as i dont want any contact with him unless i have to

Collaborate Thu 29-Nov-12 18:10:05

Why would you offer him anything? Why do you think he has an interest in the house?
You couldn't do it yourself. These are very technical proceedings involving complex law.

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 18:41:03

i dont want to give him anything but i need to get him out my life he came to my house with 3 black bags its all about control he has changed the locks so i cant even get into a house i own ,the people buying my house are getting fed up understandebly i have had to drop it by another 5,000 or they are pulling out im going out of my mind i am in debt ,he has been stalking me sitting at the top of my grove and outside my house i have had to change jobs twice because of him he was following me everwhere he tried to get my son arrested hes 17 for going bk to our home made false allegations he followed me on a night out and i grabbed him so he got me arrested for abh i took a caution because i was so disstressed i just want it all to stop i cant see no way forward i got re housed because of his behaviour 3 years ago i could try and get bk into my house but i know he wouldnt leave me alone and has made threats he will set it on fire or smash it up

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 18:48:33

can i go and get an order of sale without a solicitor and put money into a trust or something so i dont lose the sale ,

RedHelenB Thu 29-Nov-12 19:19:26

No, not if he is on the mortgage & has an interest in the house. You have a right to enter though. Realistically I would think the sale will fall through unless your ex agrees to a money offer (& no it can't be instead of maintenance for his child) You need to keep on at the soliciotor to see what they can do but given that you are housed & he won't be when the house is sold I'm not sure you will get the possession order you are seeking as he needs somewhere to live & have his child to stay too.

Who's paying the mortgage now btw?

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 19:34:43

hi im talking to you through 2 threads lol he is paying interest only he changed it when i left forged my signiture he hasnt had his daughter for a while and is not paying for her i dont know if it would benefit me to change dd and pay mortgage he done this kind of thing to ex he used to beat her she had to go in a hostel and while she was there he was trying to get her house ,i didnt know any of this and hers was council

RedHelenB Thu 29-Nov-12 19:39:20

But you now have a police caution for abh against him? HOw come the council were willing to house you when you already have a property, ex council at that?

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 19:47:04

because it was dv they told me to fight for my house after and get out of the situation i tried to get him removed but it was my word against his he had me suicidle the things he was doing and saying there was alot of people involved the police doctors social services and local family center at the time i thought it was for the best i now realise i should of gone to court at the time to get him out

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Thu 29-Nov-12 19:57:18

If he forged your signature then that'sa criminal offence. It sounds to me like you need a better solicitor - talk to Women's Aid for a recommendation. There should also be some sort of grounds for getting him out if he is deliberately damaging the house.

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 20:05:57

hi solid it was womens aid who helped me get housed i need to do something quick because he is just devaluing the house when i spoke to the police they sais they will come with me to the house and when i phoned tht 101 number they said they wouldnt go with me because hes mentioned on the mortgage he can do what he likes she said he can smash up the house and set fire to it if he wants to i am just going round in circles i either need to get bk into my house and keep him away or sell it and i feel i cant do either

Collaborate Thu 29-Nov-12 20:20:42

There is no substitute for proper legal advice. Find a solicitor on the resolution.org.uk website.

stolenhouse40 Thu 29-Nov-12 20:32:35

by the time ive found a new solicitor the sale will have fallen through i dont want to move back into the house i just want the restriction removed so i can sell it he wants to stay there cos he is only paying 90 a month as a last resort i will move back in cos as its going this could go on for ever and by the time hes finished there wont be any money left in the house any way

RedHelenB Fri 30-Nov-12 07:27:35

So was it a mortgage or a secured loan that was taken out for the extension? I'm a bit confused how you can consider moving back in when you have been subject to domestic violence as i take it he won't move out? The restriction can only be removed by him being willing to have it removed or through the courts, as I've said before unless you are willing to offer him a considerable amount of money for him to be rehoused so he agrees to vacate the property, it looks like the sale will fall through.

SoupDragon Fri 30-Nov-12 07:38:04

To be honest, I think you can write off this sale unless you reach a financial agreement with him. It is probably better to concentrate on getting him out and resell once he's gone.

olgaga Fri 30-Nov-12 12:30:36

Yes it sounds unlikely this sale is going to be able to go through. I suggest you try the NCDV their helpline is 0844 8044 999.

stolenhouse40 Sat 01-Dec-12 14:41:27

hi all ive just had another offer through his solicitor im going to accept i dont want to but dont have a choice really i can belive one person can have such an effect of peoples lives he came into my life and that of my childrens with nothing but 3 black bags of clothes never paid any bills food ect made all our lives a living hell and he is walking out with 20 k people beware i dont consider myself stupid but that how i feel been taken for a mug for far too long .

olgaga Sat 01-Dec-12 20:07:03

Oh my goodness stolen, are you sure? It does sound as though you're being done over. At least make a counter offer of £10,000 to get him off your back. Then maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle?

PM me if you want.

olgaga Sat 01-Dec-12 20:08:32

And by the way, if he has smashed the place up you could take a few more thousand off to make good the damage he's done.

Honestly, I would advise you to get help rather than just be railroaded like this.

stolenhouse40 Sat 01-Dec-12 22:31:59

hi i offered him 10 then 15 had to drop sale by another 5 then his letter said 20 i just want rid of him for good as much as i can he is a parasite a lesson to be learnt i think it could go on forever and i could end up loosing even more through legal fees but thank you i dont know how to pm i am new to.

olgaga Sat 01-Dec-12 23:04:51

Hi you have obviously been through the mill and I can appreciate you just want to be done with it.

Are you getting any help at all in RL? Any representation?

To PM someone all you do is click on the "Message poster" link in the top right hand corner of someone's post.

stolenhouse40 Mon 03-Dec-12 17:14:51

hi what is RL think i have done everything i can and hes just sitting rotting in my house .

citronella Mon 03-Dec-12 17:28:32

I was in a similar position to you not so long ago although by the sounds of it your ex has even less ground to be in the property than you (even though he has an interest in it). My ex was also stubbornly sitting it out .We had a sale order but in the end I had to go to court to get a posession order. Even on the day he was meant to vacate I still had to have a friend (easier than it being me he could just bully/walkover/persuade/plead with etc) make sure he left and handed over all keys.
You are going to have to dig your heels in with the solicitors and be prepared for a long battle. Try not to listen to what he says. Do not move back in while he is there it will make things so much more difficult (you won't be able to think straight).
It will come to an end even if it feels like a never ending black hole now.
smile

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