Separating finances without getting divorced?

[PatsysDouble]

Hi

Maybe this is a crazy thing to do, but is there a legally binding way of separating out finances without actually going through a full divorce.

H moved out a year ago. He is looking to buy a house shortly. There is lots of equity in the marital home where the kids and I live, and some joint cash.

I am worried that the house purchase will use up the cash and put me in a worse position in terms of being able to 'buy' him out of the marital home (he takes all the cash, I get the house - if there is less cash, I will need to find some to buy him out).

Ideally we would resolve our problems and live happily every after.

But......

Can we sort the finances out to protect me from a drop in available cash?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hope I've given enough info!

Thanks

[olgaga]

You need to get legal advice, fast - before the money has gone. You could get a separation agreement sorted out:
www.co-operative.coop/legalservices/family-and-relationships/breaking-up/separation/separation-agreements/

But really, why bother if you are going to get divorced eventually? Why not just go for the divorce? You might find this useful:

Relationship Breakdown and Divorce ? Advice and Links (V4 Nov 2012)

It is useful if you can get to grips with the language of family law and procedure, and get an understanding of your rights, BEFORE you see a solicitor. If you are well prepared you will save time and money.

Children

The welfare, needs and interests of children are paramount. Parents have responsibilities, not rights, in this regard. Shared residence means both parties having an equal interest in the upbringing of the children. It does not mean equal (50/50) parenting time - children are not possessions to be ?fairly? divided between separating parents.

A divorce will not be granted where children are involved unless there are agreed arrangements for finance, and care of the children (?Statement of Arrangements for Children?). It is obviously quicker and cheaper if this can be agreed but if there is no agreement, the Court will make an Order - ?Residence and Contact? regarding children, ?Financial Order? or ?Ancillary Relief? in the case of Finance. Information and links to these can be found in the Directgov link below. Residence and Contact Orders are likely to be renamed Child Arrangements Orders in future.

Always see a specialist family lawyer!

Get word of mouth recommendations for family lawyers in your area if possible. If you have children at school, ask mums you are friendly with if they know of anyone who can make a recommendation in your area. These days there are few people who don?t know of anyone who has been through a divorce or separation ? there?s a lot of knowledge and support out there!

Many family lawyers will offer the first half hour consultation free. Make use of this. Don?t just stick with the first lawyer you find ? shop around and find someone you feel comfortable with. You may be in for a long haul, so it helps if you can find a solicitor you?re happy with.

If you can?t find any local recommendations, always see a solicitor who specialises in Family Law.
If you take legal action to protect yourself or your family from domestic violence, you may qualify for legal aid without having to meet the normal financial conditions. The income of an abusive partner will not be taken into account when deciding whether you qualify for legal aid.
You can also find out about Legal Aid and get advice on the Community Legal Advice Helpline on 08345 345 4 345
www.gov.uk/community-legal-advice
Or search in your area for Community Legal Advisors:
legaladviserfinder.justice.gov.uk/AdviserSearch.do
Here is the Gov.uk guide to divorce which includes a link to CAB advice at the foot of the first page:
www.gov.uk/divorce

Rights of Women have a helpline on 020 7251 6577 and helpful advice on their website.
//www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/adviceline.php

Co-operative Legal Services offer DIY/Self-Help Divorce packages, as well as a Managed Divorce service. Their fee structure is more transparent and they have a telephone advice line as well as offering really good advice on their website:
//www.co-operative.coop/legalservices/family-and-relationships/

You can read advice and search by area for a family lawyer here:
//www.resolution.org.uk/

and here:
//www.divorceaid.co.uk/

Some family law solicitors publish online feedback from clients ? Google solicitors to see if you can find any recommendations or feedback.

Mediation

You will be encouraged to attend mediation. This can help by encouraging discussion about arrangements for children and finance in a structured way in a neutral setting. However, it only works if both parties are willing to reach agreement.

If there has been violence or emotional abuse, discuss this with your solicitor first. Always get legal advice, or at the very least make sure you are aware of your legal rights, before you begin mediation. This is important because while a Mediator should have knowledge of family law, and will often explain family law, they are not there to give tailored legal advice to either party - so it?s important to have that first.

You can find a Mediator here:
//www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/find-service.php

Married or Living Together?

This is a key question, because if you are married, generally speaking you have greater protection when a relationship breaks down.

Legal Issues around marriage/cohabitation and relationship breakdown are explained here:
//www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm#Ending_a_relationship

//www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/

Gov.uk advice on divorce, separation and relationship breakdown:
www.gov.uk/browse/births-deaths-marriages/marriage-divorce

Issues around contact are further explored here:
www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities
//www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/legal.php#children_relationship_breakdown
//www.maypole.org.uk/
//www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/2909/TimeforChildren.pdf

I found these guides from law firms quite informative and easy to read ? there are others of course:
//www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/uploaded/documents/Surviving-Family-Conflict-and-Divorce---2nd-edition.pdf

//www.terry.co.uk/hindex.html

Finance

Before you see a family law solicitor, get hold of every single piece of financial information you have access to, and take copies or make notes. Wage slips, P60s, tax returns, employment contracts, pensions and other statements ? savings, current account and mortgages, deeds, rental leases, utility bills, council tax bills, credit statements. Are there joint assets such as a home, pensions, savings, shares?
There is a useful divorce and separation calculator here:
www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends

If you cannot access financial information, or you are aware that assets are being hidden from you, then obviously you will not be able to reach agreement on finances. Again you will be encouraged to go to mediation (link as above).

If there are children, as you cannot divorce without adequate arrangements being agreed on finance and children, you will have to apply for a financial order anyway.
If there are no children, and you are unable to agree on finances, you will also have to apply for a financial order.
During this process, parties have to declare financial information going back 12 months. So it is in your interests to act quickly once you have made the decision to divorce.

If you are married, the main considerations of the Family Courts where parties are unable to agree a settlement are (in no particular order of priority):

1.The welfare of any minor children from the marriage.
2.The value of jointly and individually owned property and other assets and the financial needs, obligation and responsibilities of each party.
3.Any debts or liabilities of the parties.
4.Pension arrangements for each of the parties, including future pension values and any value to each of the parties of any benefit they may lose as a result of the divorce.
5.The earnings and earning potential of each of the parties.
6.Standard of living enjoyed during the marriage.
7.The age of the parties and duration of the marriage.
8.Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties.
9.Contributions that each party may have made to the marriage, either financially or by looking after the house and/or caring for the family.

CSA maintenance calculator:
//www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

Handy tax credits calculator:
//www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxcredits/payments-entitlement/entitlement/question-how-much.htm#7

Handy 5 Minute benefit check, tax and housing benefit calculators:
//www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/

CAB Benefits Check:
//www.citizensadvice.co.uk/getadvice/benefit-calculator/A2B-Benefit-Calculator/#730

Parenting issues:
//www.familylives.org.uk
//www.theparentconnection.org.uk

Other Support ? Children, Housing, Domestic Violence
//www.womensaid.org.uk/ and refuge.org.uk/ - Helpline 0808 2000 247
//www.ncdv.org.uk/ - Helpline 0844 8044 999
//www.gingerbread.org.uk/ - Helpline 0808 802 0925
Housing //www.england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown
(Note that on many advice websites there is usually an appropriate link for England, Wales and Scotland where the law, advice and contact information may differ).
Sometimes links change or break ? if there is a problem or any of the above needs updating, please let me know.

[PatsysDouble]

Thanks Olgaga - I will read that through again properly this evening.

You are probably right - divorce anyway.

Am usually pretty proactive, but dragging feet a bit incase things work out. But don't want to have left myself more financially vunerable in the process (at the moment, would need to borrow a manageable amount to pay him off - if he spends cash on the new house and doesn't improve it's value, I will have to find more!)

Will read up on the separation agreement though - are these legally binding? (I'm sure I could find out later googling though).

Thanks again.

[olgaga]

PM me if you like.

[STIDW]

Money and property shouldn't change hands unless you have an agreement either for separation or divorce.

It is possible to separate the finances by agreeing a separation agreement. Although in England & Wales a separation agreement isn't enforceable agreements in recent years have carried considerable weight and if there is full disclosure, both parties take legal advice and the agreement is "fair" (complies with the law) a court can make an enforceable order in similar terms as the agreement.

The advantage of a separation agreement is the finances can be agreed and the divorce tackled later after two years separation when emotions aren't running so high. The disadvantage is you will pay for a solicitor to draft the separation agreement and then a consent order when you divorce. However, if divorcing after two years avoids citing adultery or unreasonable behaviour and enables you to reach an amicable financial agreement than inflaming the situation it could be money well spent.

[Xenia]

It is possible if he earns a lot more than you do that you might get most of the equity in the house and the cash so you might be wanting to get a freezing order over the available cash. I know someone whose wife did that and then he could not touchthe capital they had in the bank until the divorce was finalised.

[PatsysDouble]

Thanks for the replies too STIDW and Xenia.

I like the idea of separating the two process as you suggest STIDW. I think potentially it could be much less stressful.

Xenia - fortunately a good chunk of our savings is in my name, although the other chunk going would still scupper things. He does earn lots more, but we have been lucky with the house so he'd still need to be able to take the cash, even if with a good settlement in my favour.

Thanks all. I might be back to ask more.