Do his Solicitors have the right to pass on my written reply?

[MsNobodyAgain]

My ex-h and I are at odds wrt access to the children. I have a thread in the Lone Parents forum about this. thread here

If I send a letter to his Solicitors - myself, not through my solicitors - do they have the right to forward it / copy it to him?

I'm trying to compose something factual and non emotive but I still think if he saw something I had written, he would hit the roof.

[CelineMcBean]

Why would you write to his solicitors? They act for him so anything you write to them is exactly the same as sending it to him. I also doubt very much they would read or action anything without being paid and they're not going to bill him and not tell him what for.

[MsNobodyAgain]

I didn't respond in writing to his last solicitors letter because I didn't see the point in going to my solicitor and racking up costs in a battle with a mentally ill man.

I did however respond verbally to the letter he sent me in April via his Solicitors. Their interpretation of what I said and what I actually said are very different.

I don't want to engage my solicitor, but nor do I want him seeing something I have written myself and getting enraged. I am worried for my safety.

[MsNobodyAgain]

And forgive me if I am being ignorant Celine. I was asking for advice. Your response comes across as quite unhelpful.

[mumblechum1]

tbh if you have a solicitor on record you aren't supposed to contact your opponent's solicitors and they're not allowed to respond directly to you.

If I were acting for him I would be obliged to pass on your letter to him, and would have to write to you to ask you to go through your solicitors. I'd also have to send a copy of your lettr to your solicitors.

Your solicitors are acting as your mouthpiece; if you don't want them in that role then you need to sack them and notify everyone including the court, that you are acting in person.

[CelineMcBean]

Oh I see. Yes I would never respond verbally to a written solicitor's letter. Too much room for misunderstanding.

If you are concerned for your safety you should go to the police.

[CelineMcBean]

Ignorant cow? No but maybe rather unnecessarily rude and ungrateful.

[MsNobodyAgain]

Who said "ignorant cow?" . I certainly didn't.

I'm in a bit of a state and asking for help.

Many thanks to Mumblechums. We have crossed paths before.

[mycatlikestwiglets]

Celine gave you good advice in her original advice OP - your ex's solicitors are under a duty to pass to him any correspondence they receive from you which relates to your case. I can see why you don't want to increase your own legal costs unnecessarily but your solicitor is there to protect your position. As mumblechum pointed out, your ex's solicitors are not able to correspond with you directly while you have your own solicitor instructed.

I have read your other thread and it seems to me that your best route forward is to instruct your solicitor to write a letter setting out the reasons why the proposal for access your ex has made is entirely inappropriate. They are best placed to do so with without being unduly emotive and will know the best points you have from a legal perspective. Is there a reason you don't want to do so? If it's simply that you aren't happy with your solicitor you should think about finding a new one - I would think this is too important for you not to have legal representation.

[MsNobodyAgain]

mycat. We've just been going round in circles. He asks to see the children, letters get written, he makes promises, he breaks promises, he says I am denying him access, etc. He likes to see me run up solicitors costs. I've tried so hard to let him have access despite his problems. The last time I saw my solicitor she said, refuse access, refuse mediation. Let him take you to court.

I've calmed down since yesterday. I've got the answer to the question I posted. I'll see how the situation develops from here. Thanks.

[zookeeper]

As an ex solicitor I truly believe that in children's cases you are much better off steering well clear of solicitors.

[MsNobodyAgain]

Interesting. Would you care to expand on that statement zookeeper?

[Collaborate]

I think zookeeper means it's far better for parents to sort things like this out themselves rather than have recourse to the law.

[Chubfuddler]

If you don't want to run up your own costs you can tell his sils you are now a ting in person. But his sols will show your letters to him, no question about it.

[mycatlikestwiglets]

Ok, I see your issue. Glad you are feeling calmer - I hope you manage to work something out you are happy with.

[MsNobodyAgain]

So do I.

I'm glad I didn't write anything myself. It was heat of the moment madness. I can see things a lot clearer now.

[cestlavielife]

i really think you better getting it into court arena due to his pvs behaviours and mh status.

unles his solciitor writes asking for a repsonse within 14 days "or we wil apply at court" then no repsonse is needed. and if he wants to take it to ourt thn let him. best for you .

oherwise jsut write saying my proposal is contact at xxx contact centre on xx days (speak to ccs [www.naccc.org.uk]] se e what is available lcoally .

anything you write you should be happy with him seeing - and letting his sol deal wih his outbursts

advice given to me was his reaction is his problem - just arrange it so you dont deal with his reaction - let someone else do that

[Xenia]

You can send them a letter as if from there - dear sir , our client says XYz or do your own letter and have them send one saying our client has prepared her own response to your previous letter which is enclosed. Both happen quite a lot.

The only issue will be if you have said things in a way which doesn't help your side and your solicitor has to spend hours rewording it at big expense when had they written it it might have taken less time although that is likely here. I do think it is always best to counteract in writign wrong things which are said.

Also if they are going to send letters summarising your views as before instruct them to send the final draft to you first before anything is sent in word so you can send it back to them with the changes made which again saves costs.