Seperated, assisting financially...advice?

[cjgraham35]

My DW & I are seperated, her decision, her affair.
I live overseas. A verbal agreement was to pay 50% of the mortgage and pet insurance only. Never formalised but I've maintained it.
She was signed off poor health and now lives on benefits. This pays towards the mortgage. I, however, pay a lot more than 50% to make up the difference.
Ongoing for 16months, prior to that she has not paid a bill to the joint acc for over 3yrs.
She now has a new b/f living with her, which I believe is contrary to her benefits T&Cs. To assist her I've paid household bills in addition to the mortgage, but have only started to cut back on the house hold bills since finding out her b/f has moved in during Aug..
No information regarding our pets, last correspondence was 1st week in Aug. this year and this was about her health. Benefits are still being paid for the mortgage.
Need realistic expectations of how to end this, what I can ask for in the seperation. Don't want to be paying for 70% of a house I don't live in. Am I being harsh ceasing all the household payments now b/f lives there. I have always kept her uptodate and advised her of my actions, no reply.
What are my legal obligations now?
Opinions matter, advice is requested though.

[RedHelenB]

Get on with the divorce & get finances sorted. Your solicitor will tell you of the likely financial outcome, roughly what proportion of your salary are you paying out now for mortgage payments & bills & are there any children involved?

[cjgraham35]

@RedHelenB
No kids, and I post home 800ish a month to cover bills, of which 600-650 was paying mortgage and bills. 12months ago it was 2300 a month and mortgage plus house hold bills were 1450 as the mortgage was in arrears. We had agreed 450 a month.Those payments were approx 44-62% of my salary.

[RedHelenB]

Usually spousal maintenance & child maintenance TOGETHER should be no more than one third of your salary so the situation will need to be sorted. When you divorce you start from a 50/50 standpoint of assets & debts & this can be altered according to need. If she can't afford the mortgage on her benefits then the likelihood is that the house will have to be sold. Obviously she would then need a deposit for a rental place out of any equity so may get more than 50%.

I would write saying that you wish to initiate divorce proceedings & will be seeking financial resolution. I would lower the amount you pay to what you can afford but in all likelihood if she is co habiting you are unlikely to have to pay any spousal maintenance.

[Collaborate]

There's no basis in either statute or case law to say that combined child and spouse maintenance is no more than one-third of income.
OP you ought to speak to a solicitor for some detailed advice. Look at the resolution.org.uk website for details of a specialist.

[TheFamilyLawyer]

You need to get specialist family law advice from a solicitor as soon as possible. many such as myself offer a free intial chat, so don't let costs put you off.

To advsie you they will need full details of your circumstances and those of your ex partner etc

[cjgraham35]

Update.
Spoke with a solicitor and have been advised I have no legal obligation to provide to the house with respect to services, however, house insurance could be an issue. Cancelling that could be breach of T&Cs of the mortgage.
In addition, now that her new b/f has moved in & she is taking on the d/d for the utilities there would be less chance of me to continue providing spousal support even though I have currently been doing so. If she was still on her own there would be a case for me to continue providing support.
In addition, as legal papers haven't been served with the local county courts, even though her solicitors have written to me but neither has followed up, I can now petition her and as we are closer to the 2yr separation deadline this could be an option rather than unreasonable behavior.
In addition, if my DW cannot provide her proportion of the mortgage then house sale is inevitable.

[RedHelenB]

there you go!

Hope it all works out for you both.