Access questions

[Pyrrah]

This concerns a family member 'P' who has taken legal advice and been given conflicting advice, was wondering if anyone here has any?

P has a 2 year-old child. She got pregnant about the same time as she split up (badly) with her ex. For various very valid reasons she didn't realise she was pregnant until 7 months (sounds crazy, but 100% true). She told the ex-bf who was very verbally abusive over it.

Since her DD was born, she has allowed the ex to see her for 3 hours every Sunday (in her house). Ex is not on birth-certificate, doesn't have PR and doesn't contribute a penny financially. Ex doesn't work, P works full-time and pays for house, bills, food, clothing, car and full-time nursery fees.

Ex has asked to have DD during the week as it messes up his weekends having to see her then. He almost invariably shows up late (he lives an hour away by public transport) and P can't afford for him not to show up or to be late as she cannot be late for work.

Ex gets very angry and storms out if DD is ill or crys when he is there - says there's no point if she's not going to smile at him. Also never calls when she is sick to see how she is or anything. Often doesn't visit because - too hungover, no money for bus, gone on holiday with new girlfriend etc.

P's parents are brilliant and help out all the time, however they are moving to a part of Britain that is 7 hours drive away. P has been offered a transfer to the same area with her job. P really needs her parents support as she doesn't have any network in her current area.

The new area is lovely, has better housing, schools and amenities and she could give her DD a much better life there.

P loathes the Ex-bf (and honestly he is not a positive influence in their DD's life and has made no attempt to become one other than insisting he has 'rights') and wouldn't care if they never saw him again, but wonders what the situation would be if the ex wanted access.

She can't travel 7 hours each way for 3 hours access every week and couldn't afford train-fares or petrol as well as everything else.

She feels that if he wants continued access then he should move to the new area - he has no job, property, children or partner (unless a 3 month relationship with latest gf of many counts) to mean he needs to stay where he is. There is more chance of her winning the lottery than him moving tbh.

He lives in a bedroom in what is basically a squat with another 3 guys so has no accomodation he could have a DD overnight at - plus he has never changed a nappy, given her a bath or even fed her.

He has never offered P one penny towards DD, nor bought her xmas or birthday cards or presents. IMO, he only takes an interest because his mother makes him and to have some kind of continued control over P. He has never tried to get PR or a court order or anything so far.

If P takes this new opportunity and moves then can he actually stop her?

She was told that he could go to court and get an injunction to stop her leaving the area, also that she would have to pay his train-tickets to see the DD as he is unemployed and that she would have to give him DD every half-term once she is at school.

I said that I didn't think he could stop her moving anywhere she wanted in England as he has no PR and isn't on the birth certificate. Also that no-one could judge her for making a better life for her child. She is terrified that she will be seen as acting badly and will have to give the ex overnight access (when he has the living conditions he does - and his parents smoke dope on a daily basis so she doesn't want her their either).

Anyone got any views or know what worst case scenarios could be.

[Pyrrah]

Sorry about typos...